Nchifukwa chiyani timakonda anthu omwe amatipweteka?

Nchifukwa chiyani timakonda anthu omwe amatipweteka?

Psychology

Ubwana wathu ndi chinthu chomwe chimatsimikizira momwe timapangira ndi kusunga ubale wathu tikakula

Nchifukwa chiyani timakonda anthu omwe amatipweteka?

Kutchova njuga kumanenedwa kuti ndizomwe zachitika m'zaka za zana la XNUMX. Monga iyi, yomwe nthawi zambiri imakhala mitu yankhani, timalankhula nthawi zonse za zodalira zina zomwe zimakhala m'magulu a anthu: uchidakwa, mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena kugonana. Koma, pali kumwerekera kwina komwe kumakhala ndi tonsefe ndipo nthawi zambiri timanyalanyaza; ndi kudalira anthu, chosowa chomwe timapanga ndikumverera kwa anthu ena.

Ubale wa anthu ndi mzati wa moyo wathu, koma nthawi zambiri timachita nawo pairings poizoni, chikondi, banja kapena ubwenzi, zomwe zimatiletsa ife monga anthu ndipo sizimatilola kuti tikule kapena kukhala osangalala.

Umu ndi momwe Manuel Hernández Pacheco, adamaliza maphunziro awo ku Biology ndi Psychology kuchokera ku Yunivesite ya Malaga komanso wolemba buku lakuti "N'chifukwa chiyani anthu omwe ndimawakonda amandipweteka?" Akufotokoza izo. "Kudalira mogwira mtima ngati njira yotchova njuga, panthawi yomwe I Ndikumva mphotho ndi munthu, kuti panthawi ina adandichitira bwino kapena kundipangitsa kuti ndimve kuti ndimakondedwa, ndikhala ndikukhudzidwa ndi kumverera kumeneku », akufotokoza motero katswiriyo. Vuto limakhalapo munthu amene ‘timadalira’ wayamba kutipweteka. Izi zitha kukhala pazifukwa ziwiri; Kumbali ina, pali kuphunzira kopezedwa muubwana ndipo kumangobwerezabwereza; kwinakwake, monga pa nthawi ina panali mtundu wina wa mphotho, anthu amatengera zosowazo. Mofanana ndi amene amasuta fodya, kapena otchova juga: ngati panthaŵi ina anasangalala ndi zimenezo, tsopano sangaleke kuchita zimenezo,” akufotokoza motero Manuel Hernández.

"Zilonda zakale"

Ndipo kuphunzirako komwe akatswiri amakamba ndi chiyani? Ndiwo maziko a malingaliro athu, umunthu wathu, womwe umapangidwa panthawi zaka zoyambirira za moyo wathu, pamene tidakali aang’ono. Vuto limabwera pamene sitinakhale ndi chitukuko "chabwinobwino" ndipo timanyamula "zilonda zakale."

Katswiriyo anati: “80 peresenti ya zinthu zimene timadziwa m’moyo wathu wonse timaphunzira m’zaka zinayi kapena zisanu zoyamba,” ndipo anapitiriza kuti: “Ndikachita kutengeka maganizo chifukwa cha chinachake chimene chimandichitikira, ubongo wanga umandivuta. kukoka kukumbukiraNdiyeno ngati bambo anga nthawi zonse amandikakamiza kuti ndizichita zambiri, ndikakhala ndi abwana angandifunenso zambiri.

Kenako, anasamutsidwa ku ndege ya maubwenzi, ngati mwana wavutika chimene chimatchedwa a "Attachment trauma"Chifukwa chakuti, pamene tinali aang’ono, makolo athu amatinyalanyaza pamene mwachibadwa tinkafuna chisamaliro, kupwetekedwa mtima kumeneku kumapangidwa, kumene “kumalepheretsa kukula, kukula kwachibadwa mu ubongo wa mwanayo, kumene kudzayenera kuchitika. zotsatira za moyo wake wonse ", monga momwe katswiri wa zamaganizo amafotokozera.

Bwerezani mwadala

Cholepheretsa china chomwe anthu amakumana nacho muubwenzi wapoizoni ndicho chomwe chimatchedwa kukumbukira njira. «Ubongo umakonda kubwereza ndondomeko kuti upulumutse mphamvu, choncho, mu psychogenealogy, pamene ubongo umachita chinachake nthawi zambiri, imabwera nthawi yomwe iye sadziwa momwe angachitire izo mwanjira ina iliyonse», Akufotokoza Manuel Hernández. "Pamapeto pake timatengera momwe timadzilamulira, koma ndichinthu chomwe chinali chothandiza panthawi ina ndipo tsopano chingakhale chowopsa," akuwonjezera.

Komanso, mizu iyi yomwe takhala nayo kuyambira ubwana, miyambo ndi machitidwe amakhalidwe, zimatiponyera pafupi ndi maubwenzi oipawa. "Ngati tili aang'ono timadzimva kuti ndife opanda pake, ndiye kuti timaganiza kuti ndi vuto lathu, kotero tili ndi mphamvu pa izo ", akufotokoza Manuel Hernández ndipo akupitiriza kuti: "Ndicho chifukwa chake anthu ambiri amadzimenya okha ndi kumacheza ndi anthu oopsa, chifukwa amadziona kuti sakuyenera kutero, chifukwa ndi njira yokhayo yomwe amadziwira kuti akuyenera kukhala. wokhoza kupulumuka.

Thandizo mu ena

Ngati munthu amizidwa mu ubale wapoizoni, womwe "munthu amene amamukonda amamupweteka", ayenera kudzilamulira kuti athetse. Koma, iyi ikhoza kukhala ntchito yovuta kwa anthu ambiri. Manuel Hernández anati: “Pamene mantha ali aakulu muubwana, m’pamenenso kuphunzira kumakhala kovuta kwambiri, m’pamenenso kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kusintha.

"Pakakhala kudalira, kaya ndi munthu kapena chinthu, zomwe zimafunikira kwa ife ndikudzilamulira tokha, kuti tidutse matendawa, koma sizichitika tsiku limodzi, imabwera pang'onopang'ono», Akufotokoza katswiriyu. Kuti tikwaniritse lamuloli, chinthu chofunikira kwambiri nthawi zambiri ndikutsamira pa munthu wina, osati akatswiri okha, bwenzi labwino, mphunzitsi kapena mnzako angathandize kwambiri kuti atuluke m'malo amdimawo.

Siyani Mumakonda