Chikondi chopanda malire chingakhale njira ya kukonda winayo kotheratu, kumlandira monga momwe alili, mopanda chikakamizo ndi zolakwa zake ndi mikhalidwe yake. Chikondi chimenechi kaŵirikaŵiri chimatchulidwa kukhala chosungidwira ana a munthu, chotero nkosoŵa kukhala wokhoza kupereka chikondi choterocho kwa munthu, mwa okwatirana. Kodi chikondi chopanda malire ndi chiyani? Kodi ndizopindulitsa? Zowopsa za kusalinganiza ndi zotani?

Choyamba, pali mitundu ingapo ya maubwenzi omwe chikondi chimatha kuwonetsedwa:

• ubale wa makolo ndi mwana;
• maubwenzi a abale ndi alongo;
• ma bond awiri.

M’zomangira zonsezi, mitundu iwiri ya chikondi ingabuke: chikondi chokhazikika ndi chikondi chopanda malire.

Mu chikondi chokhazikika, mumapereka chikondi chanu "chosinthanitsa" chinachake, mosadziwa kapena mosadziwa. Ukhoza kukhala khalidwe lodabwitsa lomwe limazindikiridwa mwa ena, kapena chitonthozo chakuthupi, kapena chikondi, chisamaliro, nthawi yogwiritsidwa ntchito. Makhalidwe a chikondi ichi ndi otsika kwambiri kuposa chikondi chopanda malire, popeza pano, chikondi "chimagulitsidwa", ngakhale osalankhula. Timataya kukongola kochuluka kwa chikondi, chomwe nthawi zambiri chimakhala chaulere komanso popanda kuyembekezera kubwerera.

Mu chikondi chopanda malire, timapereka chikondi chathu popanda malire kapena kuyembekezera kubwerera. Ndizovuta kwambiri kuzigwiritsa ntchito, koma zolemera kwambiri kukhala ndi moyo ndikukwaniritsa. Ndi funso pano la kuvomereza winayo wonse, ndi zolakwa zake ndi makhalidwe ake, popanda kufuna kufuna kumusintha. Tikhoza kukonda mwa munthu nzeru zake, kukoma mtima kwake, kuwolowa manja kwake ... Koma kukonda munthu uyu mopanda malire kumapangitsa kuti tizikondanso kunenepa kwake osati kokongola kwambiri, chizolowezi chake chokhalabe pampando wa sofa, kapena ngakhale zilakolako zake zazing'ono za tsiku ndi tsiku. Pamene mukonda wina mopanda malire, mumakhululukira kwambiri, ndipo ngakhale zikafika pazinthu zazikulu, monga kusakhulupirika, kapena zolakwika zina zamakhalidwe.

Nthawi zambiri zimakhala za chikondi chomwe timakhala nacho kwa mwana wathu m'moyo wathu wonse, koma chikhoza kukhalapo pakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi m'banja.

Ndi chikondi chomwe chimakhala mwamtheradi, modzipereka, mwachikondi kwambiri ndipo sichingathe kusweka. Ndi chikondi chachikondi. Palibe chomwe chimayembekezeredwa kubwezera, ndipo apa ndi pamene kukongola ndi chiyero cha chikondi ichi chagona. Komabe, pangakhale zowawa m’kupanda malireku, makamaka ngati wokondedwayo akugwiritsira ntchito molakwa chikondi chopanda malire chimenechi.

Kodi tingakonde bwanji popanda kuvutika?

Madokotala, akatswiri amisala ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo akuwoneka kuti akunena kuti chikondi chopanda malire kwa munthu yemwe si mwana wawo chimamasulira kusowa chikondi ndi kudzidalira. Zoonadi, kukhululukira munthu chilichonse popanda malire ndi kufuna kukwaniritsa zosowa zake zonse popanda kupempha chilichonse kuti abweze kumasonyeza kudzinyoza kwakukulu.

Chotero chikondi chopanda malire nchowononga kwambiri, popeza kuti palibenso zopinga zirizonse zotsimikizira ulemu wa ulemu waumwini, umunthu wake. Tikamalola wina kuti alakwe kapena kutichitira zoipa, osachoka kwa iye, timamusonyeza kuti ndife munthu wonyozeka. Posiya zifukwa zomveka bwino zakuthawirana nthawi zonse, timatumiza uthenga uwu kwa ena mosadziwa: "Ndichitireni zoipa zonse zomwe mukufuna, ndidzakhala ndi inu nthawi zonse. Ubale wamtunduwu umakhala wopanda thanzi, ndipo nthawi zambiri umasanduka mgwirizano wopotoka, pakati pa wozunza ndi wozunzidwa.

Popanda kulowa muubwenzi wolakwika, padzakhala kusamvana mu ubale pamene mmodzi wa anthu awiriwa amakondana mopanda malire, pamene wina satero.

Asymmetry iyi idzabweretsa kuvutika kumbali zonse ziwiri: omwe amakonda kwambiri adzavutika chifukwa chosakondedwa pamlingo womwewo; iye amene alandira chikondi chopanda malire adzavutika chifukwa cha “kukanidwa” ndi chikondi cha winayo, pokhala magwero okha a chikhutiro.

Ndiye pali kudalira, ndi chiyambi cha chiwonongeko cha chiyanjano, pamene wokonda wopanda malire sangathe kukula bwino ndikupeza zina zomwe zimakwaniritsa kunja kwa chiyanjano.

Choncho, kuti anthu okwatirana azikhala ogwirizana, ayenera kukondana mofanana ndi kulemekezana.

Poyamba, ubongo wathu unapangidwa kuti tizikondana mopanda malire. Ndipo ndizomwe zimachitika kumayambiriro kwa ubale wachikondi: ndi chilakolako, tili mumtheradi, chiyero cha mgwirizano, "timatenga" zina zonse, ngakhale zolakwika zake zazing'ono. Kenaka, miyezi ingapo kapena zaka zingapo pambuyo pake, ubongo wathu "woganiza bwino" umatenga mphamvu, ndipo ngati sitikhala ndi chithandizo chochepa cha zofooka zooneka bwino za mnzathu, ndiko kupasuka.

Kumbali ina, zikondano zomalizira zimatisonyeza kuti, ngakhale pozindikira zolakwa za ena, timawalekerera, ndipo nthawi zina timawachitira chifundo. Komabe, malire ake ndi omveka: ubongo wathu umayang'anitsitsa pamene winayo sadutsa mzere. Kulakwitsa kwakukulu pamakhalidwe ndipo ndiko kudzakhala kupasuka.

Chifukwa chake chikondi chopanda malire chingakhale sitepe yodziwikiratu ndi kutengedwa mwa okwatirana, kuthetheka komwe kumalola chiyambi chokongola cha chikondi. Koma kuti mukhale ndi chikondi chabwino ndi choyenera, chikondichi chiyenera kusinthika, chifukwa cha kulankhulana, chifundo ndi ulemu.

Iwo omwe amakhalabe mu chikhalidwe cha okonda osagwirizana amakhalabe ali akhanda kwambiri: amakana kukula, ndi kusinthika m'njira yawo yachikondi. Ndithudi, kukhala wodalira winayo mwa kumpatsa kudzipereka kwake konse ndi kukhazikika kwa chikondi, kumafanana ndi kudzipereka kwa mwana wamng’ono kwa makolo ake, amene popanda iwo sangakhoze kuwasamalira.

Wokonda mopanda malire ayenera kudzipangira yekha ntchito, mwina pochiza, kuti alowe mulingo waubwana wake, kapena kulongosolanso zosowa zake komanso kusowa kwa chikondi. Kenako timaphunzira, kuchokera mu chikondi chopanda malire, kukhala ndi kusinthana kokhwima ndi ena, kulankhulana, ndi kukonda popanda kuukira kapena kufooketsa winayo m’chikondi chopanda ufulu kapena kukwaniritsidwa kogawana.