Empty Nest Syndrome: Momwe mungalole ana anu kupita kwa makolo olera okha ana

Makolo odalirika omwe amatenga nawo mbali m'moyo wa mwanayo, sikophweka kuti agwirizane ndi chete m'nyumba yopanda kanthu. Abambo ndi amayi omwe ali okha amavutika kwambiri. Komabe, vuto lopanda kanthu la nest syndrome sizovuta nthawi zonse. Kafukufuku akutsimikizira kuti makolo atapatukana ndi ana, kaŵirikaŵiri amapeza kulimbikitsidwa mwauzimu, kudzimva kwachilendo ndi ufulu wosaneneka.

Kodi Empty Nest Syndrome ndi chiyani?

Ndi kubadwa kwa ana, anthu ambiri kwenikweni kukula pamodzi ndi udindo wa makolo ndi kusiya kulekanitsa awo «Ine». Kwa zaka 18, ndipo nthawi zina kupitilira apo, amakhala otanganidwa ndi ntchito za makolo kuyambira m'mawa mpaka madzulo. Nzosadabwitsa kuti ndi kuchoka kwa ana, amagonjetsedwa ndi kumverera kwachabechabe, kusungulumwa ndi chisokonezo.

Nthawiyi imakhala yovuta kwambiri, ndipo mwachibadwa kuphonya ana. Koma zimachitikanso kuti matendawa amadzutsa kudziimba mlandu, kudziona ngati wosafunika komanso kusiyidwa, zomwe zimatha kukhala kukhumudwa. Ngati palibe wogawana naye zakukhosi, kupsinjika maganizo kumakhala kosapiririka.

The classic nest nest syndrome imaganiziridwa kuti imakhudza makolo omwe sagwira ntchito, nthawi zambiri amayi. Ngati mukuyenera kukhala kunyumba ndi mwana, zokonda zimachepa kwambiri. Koma mwanayo akasiya kufunikira kum’samalira, ufulu wake umayamba kuchepa.

Komabe, malinga ndi kafukufuku wa katswiri wa zamaganizo Karen Fingerman, chodabwitsa chimenechi chikuzimiririka pang’onopang’ono. Amayi ambiri amagwira ntchito. Kulankhulana ndi ana omwe amaphunzira mumzinda wina kumakhala kosavuta komanso kosavuta. Motero, makolo ochepa, makamaka amayi, amakhala ndi matendawa. Mwana akakula popanda bambo, mayi amafunitsitsa kupeza ndalama.

Kuonjezera apo, makolo olera okha ana amapeza madera ena oti adzizindikire okha, kotero kuti mwayi wokhala ndi chisa chopanda kanthu umachepa. Koma zikhale choncho, ngati palibe wokondedwa pafupi, bata m’nyumba yopanda anthu lingaoneke ngati losapiririka.

Zinthu Zowopsa kwa Makolo Okha

Mpaka pano, palibe umboni wosonyeza kuti "osungulumwa" amadwala matendawa nthawi zambiri kuposa okwatirana. Komabe, zimadziwika kuti izi si matenda, koma zina mwa zizindikiro khalidwe. Akatswiri a zamaganizo apeza zomwe zimayambitsa vutoli.

Ngati okwatirana akukhala pamodzi, mmodzi wa iwo akhoza kupuma kwa maola angapo kapena kugona nthawi yaitali pamene wina akusamalira mwanayo. Makolo olera okha ana amadzidalira okha. Izi zikutanthauza kupuma pang'ono, kugona pang'ono, nthawi yochepa yochita zinthu zina. Ena a iwo amasiya ntchito, zokonda, maubwenzi achikondi ndi mabwenzi atsopano kuti azisamalira kwambiri ana.

Ana akasamuka, makolo olera okha ana amakhala ndi nthawi yambiri. Zikuwoneka kuti pamapeto pake mutha kuchita chilichonse chomwe mukufuna, koma palibe mphamvu kapena chikhumbo. Ambiri amayamba kumva chisoni kuti anataya mwayi umene anataya chifukwa cha ana awo. Mwachitsanzo, amadandaula chifukwa cha kulephera kwa chibwenzi kapena kudandaula kuti kwachedwa kwambiri kusintha ntchito kapena kuchita zinthu zina zosangalatsa.

Nthano ndi Zoona

Sizoona kuti kukula kwa mwana kumakhala kowawa nthawi zonse. Ndipotu, kulera ana ndi ntchito yotopetsa yomwe imafuna mphamvu zambiri. Ngakhale kuti makolo olera okha ana amakumana ndi vuto la nest pamene ana awo achoka, pali ambiri mwa iwo amene amapezanso cholinga cha moyo.

Polola ana "kuyandama kwaulere", amasangalala ndi mwayi wogona, kupumula, kupanga mabwenzi atsopano, ndipo, kwenikweni, amakhalanso okha. Ambiri amasangalala ndi kunyada chifukwa chakuti mwanayo wadziimira payekha.

Komanso, pamene ana ayamba kukhala paokha, maunansi kaŵirikaŵiri amawongokera ndi kukhala ochezekadi. Makolo ambiri amavomereza kuti mwanayo atachoka, chikondi chinayamba kukhala chenicheni.

Ngakhale amakhulupirira kuti matendawa amayamba makamaka mwa amayi, sizili choncho. Ndipotu kafukufuku akusonyeza kuti matendawa ndi ofala kwambiri kwa abambo.

Momwe mungathanirane ndi vuto lopanda kanthu la chisa

Malingaliro okhudzana ndi kuchoka kwa ana sangakhale olondola kapena olakwika. Makolo ambiri amaikadi m’chimwemwe, ndiyeno m’chisoni. M'malo mokayikira kukwanira kwanu, ndi bwino kumvetsera maganizo, chifukwa ichi ndi kusintha kwachibadwa ku mlingo wotsatira wa makolo.

Nchiyani chingakuthandizeni kuzolowera kusintha?

• Ganizirani za omwe mungalankhule nawo, kapena fufuzani magulu othandizira m'maganizo. Osabisa zakukhosi kwanu. Makolo amene ali mumkhalidwe wofananawo adzamvetsetsa malingaliro anu ndi kukuuzani mmene mungachitire nawo.
• Osavutitsa mwana ndi madandaulo ndi malangizo. Chifukwa chake mumayika pachiwopsezo chowononga ubale, zomwe zidzakulitsa vuto lopanda kanthu la chisa.
• Konzani zochita limodzi, koma lolani mwana wanu kusangalala ndi ufulu wawo watsopano. Mwachitsanzo, pemphani kupita kwinakwake patchuthi kapena kum’funsa mmene angamsangalatsire akadzabwera kunyumba.
• Pezani chochitika chomwe mumakonda. Tsopano muli ndi nthawi yochulukirapo, choncho iwonongeni mosangalala. Lowani nawo maphunziro osangalatsa, pitani masiku, kapena khalani pabedi ndi buku labwino.
• Kambiranani zakukhosi kwanu ndi dokotala. Zidzakuthandizani kufotokozera komwe ubereki uli m'moyo wanu ndikukulitsa chidziwitso chatsopano. Mukalandira chithandizo, mudzaphunzira kuzindikira malingaliro owononga, kugwiritsa ntchito njira zodzithandizira kuti mupewe kupsinjika maganizo, ndikudzilekanitsa ndi udindo wa kholo.

Kuonjezera apo, katswiri wodziwa bwino adzakuthandizani kusankha njira yoyenera yolankhulirana ndi mwana yemwe akuyesetsa kuti azidziimira payekha komanso kuti azikhulupirirana.

Za wolemba: Zahn Willines ndi katswiri wama psychotherapist yemwe amadziwika kwambiri ndi zizolowezi zamaganizidwe.