Zamkatimu
Nthawi zonse ndakhala wodziimira payekha komanso wodzidalira. Muubwana mmalo mwa kufunikira, muukulu mwa kusankha. Ndili ndi zaka 6, ndinkaphika chakudya cham'mawa ndisanapite kusukulu, ndinkachita homuweki ndekha kuyambira giredi 1. Ambiri, ubwana wamba kwa makolo amene anakulira mu nthawi yovuta ya nkhondo. Pomaliza, cheers! Ndine wodziimira payekha, ndipo monga mbali ina ya ndalama, sindikudziwa momwe ndingapemphe thandizo. Komanso akandiuza kuti andithandize, ndimakana pa zifukwa zosiyanasiyana. Chifukwa chake, ndikukana kwakukulu kwamkati, ndidatenga Zothandizira patali kuti ndikagwire ntchito.
Poyamba ndinaiwala kupempha thandizo. Ndinazindikira pambuyo pa zinthu zotsatirazi: Ndinakwera m’chikwere ndi munthu wina woyandikana naye nyumba, anandifunsa kuti ndipansi pati, n’cholinga chofuna kukanikiza batani la pansi lomwe ndinkafuna. Ndinamuthokoza ndikuzikakamiza. Nditachita zimenezi, munthuyo anali ndi nkhope yodabwitsa kwambiri. Nditalowa m'nyumba, kunanditulukira - woyandikana nawo adadzipereka kuti andithandize, ndipo mukumvetsetsa kwake kunali lamulo labwino la mawonekedwe, mwachitsanzo, mulole mkazi apite patsogolo kapena kumupatsa mpando. Ndipo ine ndinakana. Apa m'pamene ndinaganiza za izi ndipo ndinaganiza zoyamba kuchita masewera a Help kuti ndigwire ntchito.
Ndinayamba kupempha thandizo kunyumba kwa mwamuna wanga, m’sitolo, m’misewu, kwa anzanga ndi mabwenzi. Chodabwitsa kwambiri, kukhalapo kwanga kunakhala kosangalatsa kwambiri: mwamuna wanga amatsuka bafa ngati nditafunsa, khofi wopangidwa ndi pempho langa, adakwaniritsa zopempha zina. Ndinasangalala, ndinathokoza mwamuna wanga kuchokera pansi pa mtima komanso mwachikondi. Zinapezeka kuti kukwaniritsidwa kwa pempho langa kwa mwamuna wanga ndiko chifukwa chondisamalira, kusonyeza chikondi chake kwa ine. Ndipo chisamaliro ndicho chilankhulo chachikulu chachikondi cha mwamuna. Ubwenzi wathu wakhala wofunda komanso wabwino chifukwa cha zimenezi. Kulankhula ndi munthu wodutsa ndikumwetulira ndi mawu omveka bwino a pempho kumayambitsa chikhumbo chofuna kuthandiza, ndipo anthu amasangalala kusonyeza njira kapena momwe angapezere izi kapena nyumbayo. Ndikayenda m’mizinda ya ku Ulaya kapena ku USA, anthu sankangofotokoza mmene angakafikire pamalowo, koma nthawi zina ankandibweretsa ku adiresi yoyenera ndi dzanja. Pafupifupi aliyense amayankha zopempha ndi zabwino, ndi kuthandiza. Ngati munthu sangathe kuthandiza, ndi chifukwa chakuti sangathedi.
Ndinazindikira kuti n’zotheka ndiponso n’kofunika kupempha thandizo. Ndinachotsa manyazi, ndidzakhululukira thandizo molimba mtima, ndikumwetulira kwachifundo. Panapita nkhope yachisoni pofunsidwa. Zonse zomwe zili pamwambazi ndi mabonasi ang'onoang'ono ku chithandizo chomwe ndinalandira kuchokera kwa ena ☺
Pogwira ntchito yolimbitsa thupi, ndinadzipangira mfundo zina:
1. Pemphani mokweza.
“Kuti tichite izi, choyamba tiyenera kudziwa chomwe chikufunika, chithandizo chomwe chikufunika. Zingakhale zothandiza kukhala pansi ndi kuganizira mofatsa zomwe ndikufuna, zomwe ndikufuna kufunsa.
Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti anthu amafunsa kuti, "Ndingathandize bwanji?" ndipo ndimalankhula china chake chosamveka poyankha. Zotsatira zake, sizithandiza.
- Mwachindunji pemphani thandizo, m'malo moponya manipulatives (makamaka ndi okondedwa).
Mwachitsanzo: "Wokondedwa, chonde yeretsani bafa, zimandivuta kuti ndizichita mwakuthupi, kotero ndikutembenukira kwa inu, ndinu wamphamvu ndi ine!" m'malo mwa "O, bafa yathu ndi yakuda kwambiri!" ndi kuyang'ana mwachidwi mwamuna wake, akuwuzira chingwe chofiyira choyaka pachipumi chake, “Potsiriza yeretsani bafa loyipa ili! . Ndipo ndinakhumudwanso kuti mwamuna wanga samamvetsetsa ndipo sangathe kuwerenga malingaliro anga.
2. Funsani moyenerera komanso kuchokera kwa munthu woyenera.
Mwachitsanzo, sindingakufunseni kuti musamutse mipando kapena kuchotsa zinyalala za mwamuna yemwe wangobwera kumene kuchokera kuntchito, ali ndi njala komanso atatopa. M’maŵa ndidzapempha mwamuna wanga kuti atenge thumba la zinyalala, ndipo Loweruka m’mawa ndidzamupempha kuti asamutsire mipando.
Kapena ndikudzisokera ndekha diresi, ndipo ndiyenera kugwirizanitsa pansi (lembani mtunda wofanana kuchokera pansi pamphepete). Ndizovuta kwambiri kuti ndichite mwaluso ndekha, chifukwa ndikuyesera kuvala chovalacho, ndipo kupendekera pang'ono kumasokoneza chithunzicho. Ndipempha mnzanga kuti andithandize, osati mwamuna wanga.
Mwachionekere, m’mikhalidwe yovuta, mwachitsanzo, ngati ndikumira m’nyanja, ndidzapempha thandizo kwa aliyense amene ali pafupi. Ndipo ngati mikhalidwe ilola, ndidzasankha nthaŵi yoyenera ndi munthu woyenera.
3. Ndine wokonzeka kuti sindidzathandizidwa mwanjira yomwe ndikuyembekezera.
Nthawi zambiri timakana thandizo chifukwa "ngati mukufuna kuti zichitidwe bwino, chitani nokha!". Ndikafotokozera momveka bwino pempho langa, pazomwe ndikufunikira komanso momwe ndikufunira thandizo, m'pamenenso ndimakhala ndi mwayi wopeza zomwe ndikufuna. Chifukwa chake, ndikofunikira kwambiri kunena momveka bwino pempho lanu. Ndipo ndimakhala wosavuta ngati achibale anga achita njira yawoyawo (moni ku masewera olimbitsa thupi a "Calm kupezeka"). Ngati achibale anga akwaniritsa pempho langa mwanjira yawoyawo, ndimakumbukira mawu a Oscar Wilde akuti “Osawombera woyimba piyano, amasewera momwe angathere” zomwe, malinga ndi iye, adaziwona mu imodzi mwa ma saloons a American Wild West. Ndipo nthawi yomweyo ndikufuna kuwakumbatira. Anayesetsa kwambiri!
Mwa njira, sindimafunsa mwamuna wanga kuti athandize kugwirizanitsa pansi pa diresi yosokedwa, chifukwa ndinapempha kale kamodzi ndipo pamapeto pake, ndinatembenukira kwa bwenzi kuti andithandize. Ndipo nthaŵi yoyamba ndi yokhayo, anathokoza mwamuna wake ndi kupsompsona ndi mawu akuti “Ndiwe wodabwitsa kwambiri!”
4. Wokonzeka kulephera.
Ambiri amaopa kukanidwa. Iwo anakana osati chifukwa chakuti sindinali wabwino, koma chifukwa chakuti munthuyo analibe mwayi. Nthawi zina, amandithandizadi. Ndipo ndi bwino ngati akukana nthawi yomweyo, apo ayi mudzataya nthawi kunyengerera, ndiyeno zidzawoneka kuti sizikuthandizani kapena adzachita mwanjira yakuti simukufunikira pachabe. Ndipo ngati mukukana, mutha kupeza wina nthawi yomweyo.
5. Ndikuthokoza kwambiri thandizoli.
Ndi kumwetulira kwaubwenzi, mosasamala kanthu za kuchuluka kwa chithandizo, ndimasonyeza kuyamikira kwanga kaamba ka chithandizocho. Ngakhale atanena kuti, “Bwerani, izi n’zachabechabe! chifukwa chiyani mukufunikira abwenzi / ine / mwamuna (kulemba mzere ngati kuli koyenera)? Komabe, musatengere thandizo mopepuka. Ndi iko komwe, munthu anandichitira zinazake, amathera nthaŵi, khama, ndi zinthu zina. Zimenezi n’zoyenera kuyamikiridwa ndi kuyamikiridwa.