Zamkatimu
Zimachitika kuti kutengeka mtima kumatigonjetsa, timalephera kuzilamulira (ndipo chifukwa chake timadzichitira tokha) ndikuthamangira mofulumira ku matanthwe amalingaliro. Timagawana njira zomwe zingakuthandizeni kubwereranso pa helm.
Mkwiyo, mantha, nkhawa, kupweteka m'maganizo, kuwawa kwa kutayika, kulakalaka otayika, chisoni - izi ndi zina zambiri zimatha kudziwonetsera ndi mphamvu yodabwitsa, kukupumitsani. Mwinamwake mumadzuka ndi chimodzi mwa malingalirowa, kapena amakupangitsani kukhala maso, kukulepheretsani kupanga chisankho chofunika, kapena muyenera kumangokhalira kukangana kuti muchoke. Nthawi zonse, zochitika zamphamvu zimagonjetsa moyo.
Zomverera sizingakhale mabwenzi athu okha, komanso adani athu oipitsitsa.
Ambiri anakulira m’mabanja amene anali ndi mwambo wopeputsa kapena kunyalanyaza kufunika kwa malingaliro, kunyalanyaza zosoŵa zamaganizo za mwanayo. Ngati malingaliro sanakambidwe momasuka, tinalibe mwaŵi wa kuphunzira mmene tingawachitire ndi kuwayankha moyenerera.
Chifukwa chake, akakula, ambiri amakhala ndi vuto lamalingaliro: mwina malingaliro onse amathedwa nzeru, kapena, m'malo mwake, mkuntho wamalingaliro umayamba nthawi ndi nthawi, zomwe zimakhala zovuta kupirira.
N’chifukwa chiyani timafunika kutengeka mtima?
Amapatsidwa kwa ife pazifukwa, ndi thandizo lawo thupi limatitumizira zizindikiro zina. Ngati tizigwiritsa ntchito moyenera, zimatipatsa chidziwitso chofunikira, chitsogozo, kulimbikitsa ndi kulimbikitsa.
Mwa kuchita ntchito zofunika zimenezi, kutengeka mtima kumatikhudza kwambiri.
Koma mphamvu imeneyi ingakhale mdani wathu. Mwachitsanzo, nthawi zina timawongolera mkwiyo, womwe umayenera kutiteteza, mkati, ndipo umayamba kutivulaza. Kuwawa kwa kutayika, komwe kuyenera kutithandiza kusiya zakale ndikupita patsogolo, kungathe kuthamangitsidwa mozama ndikuyamba kutidya kuchokera mkati. Nkhawa, zomwe ziyenera kutithandiza kukonzekera zovuta, zimatipangitsa kuzipewa.
Ngati zikuwoneka kuti malingaliro amakulepheretsani mphamvu, kukulepheretsani kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu, ndiye kuti mukuwachitira molakwika kapena kuwayankha mosayenera. Nazi njira zingapo zomwe zingathandize onse omwe adakumana ndi zovuta zamalingaliro, komanso omwe amakhala nawo nthawi zonse.
Njira zothana ndi kutengeka mtima
1. Fotokozani zimene zinachitika papepala
Ochepa kupatula akatswiri amisala amadziwa kuti njira yokhayo yothanirana ndi malingaliro ndikudzilola kuti mumve. Choyamba, lembani zomwe mwakumana nazo papepala. Ngati mukuzunzidwa ndi malingaliro amphamvu, ndi nthawi yoti mutenge cholembera ndi pepala (mungathenso kusindikiza pa kompyuta, koma zotsatira zochiritsira sizili zofanana) ndikuyamba kulemba zonse zomwe zimabwera m'maganizo. Lolani kuti muwaze kapena kufuula papepala kwa nthawi yayitali momwe mungafunire. Pambuyo pake, chotsani zolembazo ndikuyesera kudzidodometsa.
Mukamauza ena za zomwe munakumana nazo, chinthu chodabwitsa chimachitika. Kugwirizana kwamtima ndi okondedwa kumachiritsa. Kunena kuti, “Ndili wachisoni kwambiri lero” ndi kunena zakukhosi kwanu, muyenera “kukhala” ndi malingaliro akuya, ndipo izi zimathandiza.
3. Yesetsani kusinkhasinkha
Malingaliro amphamvu amaoneka ngati akulamulira ubongo, ndipo timasiya kudziletsa tokha. Pa nthawi ngati zimenezi, maganizo amathamangira mu mtsinje, kapena kukhala zoipa ndi chipwirikiti. Kusinkhasinkha ndi njira yobwezeretsanso ubongo. Ngati nthawi zovuta kwambiri mutasiya kuthawa malingaliro, ndikukhala chete ndikuyang'ana zomwe zikuchitika mkati mwanu, mutha kupezanso mtendere.
4. Yankhani mmene mukumvera
Uwu ndiye luso lalikulu lowongolera malingaliro. Zimaphatikizapo zonse zomwe zili pamwambazi. Kuti muchite izi, muyenera kukhala ndi malingaliro, kumvetsetsa zomwe mukukumana nazo komanso chifukwa chake komanso zomwe mukufuna kukuuzani. Pofotokoza zakukhosi kwanu, kuyankhula za iwo ndi kusinkhasinkha, mumachita zomwe gawo lanu lamalingaliro likufuna. Simumangomvera zomwe mwakumana nazo, koma muziwongolera, ndipo iyi ndi njira yabwino kwambiri yowachotsera mphamvu pa moyo wanu.
Kudzimvera chisoni kwambiri si chizindikiro cha kufooka. M’malo mwake, amasonyeza kukhoza kwanu kumva. Ndikofunikira kuyang'ana zomwe zikuchitika panopa zamaganizo mkati ndikuwongolera kuti mupindule.
Zokhudza Mlembi: Jonis Webb ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, katswiri wa zamaganizo, komanso wolemba buku lakuti The Persistent Emptiness: How to Cope with Ana's Emotional Indifference.