Kupanga ubale wotetezeka ndi udindo wa wothandizira. Koma bwanji ngati, atakulitsa chidaliro ndikutsimikizira kasitomala za kudalirika kwake, katswiriyo amvetsetsa kuti chinthu chokhacho chomwe munthuyu adadzera ndikuwononga kusungulumwa kwake?
Ndili ndi mkazi wokongola, koma wokakamizika kwambiri pamalo olandirira alendo. Ali ndi zaka pafupifupi 40, ngakhale amayang'ana pafupifupi makumi atatu. Ndakhala ndikulandira chithandizo kwa chaka chimodzi tsopano. Ndife owoneka bwino komanso opanda kupita patsogolo koonekeratu kukambirana za chikhumbo chake ndi mantha ake kuti asinthe ntchito, mikangano ndi makolo, kudzikayikira, kusowa malire omveka, malingaliro ... Mitu imasintha mwachangu kotero kuti sindimayikumbukira. Koma ndimakumbukira kuti chinthu chachikulu chomwe timachilambalala nthawi zonse. Kusungulumwa kwake.
Ndimadzipeza ndikuganiza kuti safunikira chithandizo chochuluka ngati munthu amene sangandipereke. Amene angamulandire iye monga iye ali. Sachita tsinya chifukwa sali wangwiro mwanjira ina. Kukumbatirana mwachangu. Adzakhalapo zikavuta… Poganiza kuti chomwe amafunikira ndi chikondi!
Ndipo lingaliro lonyenga loti ntchito yanga ndi makasitomala ena ndikungoyesa kotheratu kwa omaliza kudzaza malo opanda kanthu sikundiyendera koyamba. Zikuwoneka kwa ine nthawi zina kuti ndikanakhala wothandiza kwambiri kwa anthuwa ndikanakhala bwenzi lawo kapena munthu wapamtima. Koma ubale wathu ndi wochepa ndi maudindo omwe tapatsidwa, makhalidwe amathandiza kuti asapitirire malire, ndipo ndikumvetsa kuti mu kupanda mphamvu kwanga pali zambiri zomwe ndi zofunika kuziganizira pa ntchito.
“Kwa ine zikuoneka kuti takhala tikudziwana kwa nthaŵi yaitali, koma sitikhudza chinthu chachikulu,” ndinamuuza motero, chifukwa ndikuona kuti tsopano n’zotheka. Ndinakhoza mayeso aliwonse omwe ndingaganizidwe komanso osaganizirika. Ndine wanga. Ndipo misozi ikutuluka m’maso mwake. Apa ndipamene chithandizo chenicheni chimayambira.
Timakambirana zambiri: momwe zimavutira kukhulupirira amuna ngati abambo anu sananene zoona ndikukugwiritsani ntchito ngati chishango chamunthu pamaso pa amayi anu. Za momwe sizingatheke kuganiza kuti wina adzakukondani chifukwa cha zomwe muli, ngati kuyambira ali aang'ono mumangomva kuti palibe amene akusowa anthu "otero". Kukhulupirira wina kapena kungosiya wina wapafupi kuposa kilomita ndikowopsa ngati kukumbukira kumakumbukira anthu omwe, akubwera pafupi, amayambitsa ululu wosaneneka.
Sigmund Freud analemba kuti: “Sitikhala opanda chitetezo monga mmene timakonda. Mwachidziwitso, tonse timamvetsetsa chifukwa chake munthu yemwe wawotchedwa kamodzi amawopa kuti alowenso m'moyo wake. Koma nthawi zina mantha amenewa amakula mpaka kufika poopsa kwambiri. Ndipo izi zimachitika, monga lamulo, ndi iwo omwe kuyambira masiku oyambirira a moyo alibe chidziwitso chokumana ndi chikondi, kupatula pamodzi ndi ululu!
Pang'onopang'ono. Mutu pambuyo pa mutu. Limodzi ndi kasitomala uyu, ife motsimikiza tinadutsa mu mantha ndi zopinga zake zonse, kupyolera mu ululu wake. Kupyolera mu mantha ndi kuthekera kwa kulingalira kuti iye akanakhoza kudzilola yekha kukonda. Ndiyeno tsiku lina iye sanabwere. Waletsa msonkhano. Analemba kuti wachoka ndipo akabweranso adzakumana. Koma tinakumana patangopita chaka chimodzi.
Amati maso ndi zenera la moyo. Ndinamvetsetsa tanthauzo la mwambi uwu tsiku lomwe ndinamuwonanso mayiyu. M’maso mwake munalibenso kutaya mtima ndi misozi yowuma, mantha ndi mkwiyo. Mayi wina anabwera kwa ine yemwe sitinkadziwana naye! Mkazi wokhala ndi chikondi mumtima mwake.
Ndipo inde: anasintha ntchito yake yosakondedwa, kumanga malire mu ubale ndi makolo ake, anaphunzira kunena "ayi", anayamba kuvina! Anapirira chilichonse chimene chithandizo sichinamuthandizepo kupirira. Koma chithandizo chinam’thandiza m’njira zinanso. Ndipo ndinadzigwiranso ndikuganiza: chinthu chokha chomwe tonse timafunikira ndi chikondi.