Kukhalapo kwamalingaliro kwa anthu omwe amwalira, kukumbukira zowawa zomwe zachitika, kukumbukira pamodzi - zonsezi zimatipangitsa kukhala ndi malingaliro amphamvu komanso zimakhudza miyoyo yathu. Kodi nchifukwa ninji kubwerera ku zokumana nazo zakale ndi kulimbana ndi chisoni kungakhale kothandiza kwa ife tsopano lino?
Zokumbukira zathu zimapangidwa ndi tizidutswa tambirimbiri tosiyanasiyana. Timazisunga mu zithunzi, playlists, maloto ndi maganizo. Koma nthawi zina kubwerezabwereza kwanthawi zonse zakale kumakhala mtundu wazosokoneza bongo: kumizidwa mu melancholy kumatha kukhala ndi zotsatira zosiyanasiyana.
Kutengeka maganizo ndi kukumbukira ndizochitika zomwe zidadziwika m'ma 1980, ndipo patapita zaka khumi zinayamba kutchedwa Trauma and Memory Studies. Zokumbukira zoopsa, monga zikumbukiro zonse za anthu, zimatha kusokoneza. Anthu amakonda kukumbukira zowawa zambiri kuposa zomwe adakumana nazo.
Izi zimachitika pazifukwa ziwiri.
Woyamba akhoza kutchedwa "kuwonjezera kukumbukira": pambuyo pa zochitika zowawa, kukumbukira kwake mwadala ndi malingaliro olemetsa ponena za iye akhoza kuwonjezera mfundo zatsopano zomwe m'kupita kwa nthawi munthuyo adzawona ngati mbali ya chochitikacho. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwana walumidwa ndi galu wa mnansi wake ndipo akunena za chochitikachi mobwerezabwereza, m’kupita kwa zaka kuluma pang’ono kudzalembedwa m’chikumbukiro chake monga chilonda chachikulu. Tsoka ilo, kukulitsa kukumbukira kumakhala ndi zotsatirapo zenizeni: kukulitsa uku, malingaliro ndi zithunzi zimavutitsa munthu. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, maganizo osazoloŵereka ameneŵa ndi zithunzithunzi zimatha kukhala zodziŵika monga momwe anthu odziŵa zinthu amadziwira.
Chifukwa chachiwiri cha kupotoza uku ndi chakuti anthu nthawi zambiri sakhala nawo pa zochitika zoopsa, koma mboni. Pali chinthu chonga mboni zoopsa. Ichi ndi kupwetekedwa mtima kwa psyche komwe kungachitike mwa munthu yemwe amawona zinthu zoopsa komanso zowopsya - pamene iye mwiniyo sakuwopsezedwa.
Olga Makarova, katswiri wofufuza zamaganizo, amalankhula za momwe mfundoyi ilili yofunikira masiku ano:
"Ngati kale, kuti alandire chovulala choterocho, kunali koyenera kukhala pamalo ena panthawi inayake, kuti akhale mboni yeniyeni pazochitikazo, ndiye lero ndikwanira kungotsegula nkhani.
Nthawi zonse padziko lapansi pamachitika zinthu zoopsa. Patsiku lililonse pachaka, mutha kuwona china chake chomwe chimakudabwitsani ndikukukhumudwitsani.
Kupwetekedwa mtima kwa woyimilirayo kungakhale koopsa kwambiri ndipo, ponena za mphamvu ya malingaliro oipa, ngakhale kupikisana ndi kutenga nawo mbali kwenikweni pazochitika zowawa (kapena kuyandikana nawo).
Mwachitsanzo, ku funso lakuti "Kodi mwapanikizika bwanji pamlingo wa 1 mpaka 10 za zotsatira za chivomezi ku Japan?" Japanese, amene anali mwachindunji m'dera chochitika, adzayankha «4». Ndipo Spaniard yemwe amakhala makilomita masauzande ambiri kuchokera pachiwopsezocho, koma yemwe adasanthula mwatsatanetsatane, pansi pa galasi lokulitsa, tsatanetsatane wa chiwonongeko ndi masoka a anthu pawailesi yakanema ndi malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, adzanena mosapita m'mbali kuti kupsinjika kwake pa izi ndi 10. .
Izi zingayambitse chisokonezo komanso chiwawa, ndiyeno chilakolako chotsutsa Spaniard wamba wa sewero - amati, zili bwanji, chifukwa palibe chomwe chimamuopseza! Koma ayi, maganizo amenewa ndi enieni. Ndipo kupwetekedwa mtima kwa mboni kungakhudze kwambiri mkhalidwe wamaganizo ndi moyo wonse. Komanso, munthu akamamvera chisoni kwambiri, m’pamenenso amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi chilichonse chimene akuona.”
Kuphatikiza pa kugwedezeka, mantha, mantha, mkwiyo ndi kutaya mtima panthawi yomwe akukumana ndi zoopsa, munthu akhoza kukumana ndi zotsatira zake. Izi ndi mantha, chisoni chokhalitsa, kusweka kwa dongosolo lamanjenje, misozi popanda chifukwa, vuto la kugona.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo amalimbikitsa njira zotsatirazi monga kupewa komanso ngati "mankhwala"
Chepetsani zambiri zomwe zikubwera (ndikofunikira kuti mungokonda zolemba zokha, popanda zithunzi ndi makanema).
Samalirani thupi lanu (kuyenda, kudya, kugona, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi).
Containerize, ndiye kuti, njira, zomverera (zojambula, kuimba, kuphika ndizoyenera - zosangalatsa zomwe mumakonda kwambiri zomwe zimathandiza pazochitika zotere).
Zindikirani malire ndikusiyanitsa malingaliro anu ndi a ena. Dzifunseni nokha mafunso: kodi izi ndi zomwe ndikumva tsopano? Kapena ndikulowa nawo mantha a munthu wina?
M’buku lake lodziwika bwino lakuti Sorrow and Melancholy, Freud ananena kuti “sitimasiya mwaufulu kukhudzidwa mtima kwathu: Mfundo yakuti anatisiyidwa sikutanthauza kuti tikuthetsa ubwenzi ndi amene anatisiya.”
Ichi ndichifukwa chake timasewera zofanana mu maubwenzi, zithunzi za amayi ndi abambo pa zibwenzi, komanso kudalira ena. Kukumbukira za maubwenzi am'mbuyomu kapena anthu omwe adachoka kumatha kusokoneza maubwenzi atsopano.
Vamik Volkan, pulofesa wa zamaganizo pa yunivesite ya Virginia, m'nkhani yake The Work of Grief: Evaluating Relationships and Release, amatcha mapasa amaganizowa. M'malingaliro ake, kukumbukira kwathu kumasunga mapasa amalingaliro a anthu onse ndi zinthu zomwe zimakhala kapena zomwe zidakhalapo m'dziko lathu. Zili kutali ndi zoyambira ndipo m'malo mwake zimakhala ndi zomverera, zongopeka, koma zimadzutsa malingaliro ndi zokumana nazo zenizeni.
Mawu a Freud akuti "ntchito yachisoni" amafotokoza njira yosinthira mkati ndi kunja komwe kuyenera kupangidwa pambuyo pa kutayika kapena kupatukana.
N'zotheka kusiya kubwereranso ku maubwenzi akale kapena kulakalaka anthu omwe anachoka pokhapokha, pamene timvetsetsa chifukwa chake maubwenzi ndi anthuwa anali ofunika kwambiri. Muyenera kuwawola kukhala tinthu tating'onoting'ono, lowetsani m'makumbukiro ndikuvomereza momwe aliri.
Nthawi zambiri sitisowa munthu, koma zomverera zomwe tidakumana nazo pafupi naye.
Ndipo muyenera kuphunzira kukhala ndi malingaliro ofananawo popanda munthu uyu.
Panthaŵi ya kusintha kwa dziko, ambiri amazoloŵera masinthidwe amene sanali kuyembekezera. Tsogolo likuwoneka mosiyana komanso losadziwikiratu. Tonsefe timakumana ndi kutayika: wina amataya ntchito, mwayi wochita zinthu zawo zachizolowezi komanso kulankhulana ndi okondedwa, wina amataya okondedwa awo.
Kubwerera ku zakale muzochitika izi ndizochiritsira: mmalo mokhala ndi nkhawa ya kutaya mkati, ndizolondola kwambiri kulira maliro. Ndiye pali mwayi womvetsetsa tanthauzo lake. Kupeza nthawi yozindikira ndikumvetsetsa zomwe timamva chifukwa cha kutayika ndi chisoni ndikuzinena ndi njira yabwino yophunzirira kuchokera zakale.