Zamkatimu
Kamwana, kanthu kakang'ono kokangalika kwambiri
Lulu ali ndi njala, ndipo mofanana ndi makanda onse omwe amakumana ndi kumverera kosautsika kumeneku, amayamba kugwedezeka, kugwedeza ndi kulira mokweza kuti amvetsere chidwi cha munthu woyenerera bwino kuti athetse mikangano yake ndikumupatsa chikhutiro: amayi ake! M'malo mongokhala chete, mwana wakhanda nthawi yomweyo amalumikizana ndikusinthana. Ngakhale atabadwa wosakhwima ndi kudalira omwe ali pafupi naye kuti apulumuke, ngakhale sangathe kuyenda pawokha, mwana aliyense amabwera kudziko lapansi ndi kuthekera kwakukulu kwanzeru. Amazindikira fungo, mkaka, mawu, chinenero cha amayi ake ndipo amapanga njira zogwirira ntchito kuti achitepo kanthu pa dziko lake kuti asinthe mogwirizana ndi zosowa zake. Katswiri wa ana wotchuka wa ku England Donald W. Winnicott wakhala akuumirira ntchito yoyenera ya khanda. Malinga ndi iye, ndi mwana amene amapanga amayi ake, ndipo muyenera kungoyang'ana mwana akuyang'ana m'maso mwa amayi ake pamene akuyamwa, kumwetulira pamene akutsamira kwa iye, kuti amvetse momwe amavutikira kuti amusangalatse ...
Kale wonyengerera wamkulu!
Kugogomezera momwe mwana aliri wokangalika kuyambira masabata oyamba amoyo sikuchepetsa mwanjira iliyonse gawo lofunikira la akulu omwe amawasamalira. Palibe khanda ngati mwana yekha ! Sitingathe kunena za mwana wakhanda popanda kuganizira malo amene iye anabadwira. Kuti akule bwino, amafunika manja amene amamunyamula, manja omusisita, maso omuyang’ana, mawu olimbikitsa, bere (kapena botolo) limene limamupatsa thanzi, milomo yake. kukumbatira… Zonse izi amazipeza kunyumba kwa amayi ake. Konse pansi pa matsenga a mwana wake, amadutsa nthawi yapadera yomwe Winnicott adayitcha "Chisamaliro choyambirira cha amayi". Mkhalidwe wapadera wamatsenga uwu, "misala" iyi imamulola kumverera, kulingalira, kumvetsetsa zomwe mwana wake amafunikira, imayamba masabata angapo mimba isanathe ndipo imapitirira miyezi iwiri kapena itatu pambuyo pobereka. Pokhala wogwirizana ndi khandalo, wokhoza kudziŵa mmene alili, kuberekako kungabweretse “panthaŵi yake” zonse zofunika kwa mwana wake. Zimenezi n’zofunika kwambiri kwa Winnicott, amene amanena za mayi “wabwino” osati mayi wamphamvuyonse amene angakwaniritse zofuna za mwana wake.
Kukhala mayi watcheru komanso "wamba".
Choncho, kukhala mayi wabwino n’kokwanira kukhala mayi wamba, womvetsera mwachidwi koma osapitirira. Izi ndi zolimbikitsa kwa onse amene amakayikira, omwe amakayikira ngati akafika kumeneko, omwe ali ndi malingaliro osamvetsetsa mwana wawo wamng'ono. Kulira kwa mwana wakhanda kulibe matanthauzo makumi atatu ndi asanu ndi limodzi, ndipo simuyenera kumudziwa bwino “mwana” kuti mumvetsetse kuti akunena kuti, “Ndine wodetsedwa” kapena “Ndatentha” kapena “Ine” m njala” kapena “Ndikufuna kukumbatiridwa”. Yankho laposachedwa - komanso lodziwikiratu - ku zopempha zake zonse ndikumukumbatira, kuyang'ana thewera lake ngati alibe dothi, kumva kutentha kwa thupi lake, kumpatsa chakudya. Samalani, kumupatsa bere kapena botolo sikuyenera kukhala kuyankha mwadongosolo. Mwana akhoza kulira chifukwa chonyong’onyeka ndipo akufunika kuthandizidwa. Pambuyo pa masabata angapo, chifukwa cha kuyanjana mobwerezabwereza, amatumiza zizindikiro kuti amayi ake amazindikira bwino komanso bwino. Amene amalephera kutero amasokonezedwa ndi zambiri zakunja, malingaliro osiyanasiyana. Yankho lake ndi losavuta. Choyamba, khulupirirani nokha, siyani luntha, chitani zomwe mukumva ngakhale sizikugwirizana mwanjira iliyonse ndi malangizo a ana. Malangizo a zibwenzi, amayi ndi apongozi, ifenso timayiwala!
Maonekedwe, kumwetulira… zofunika.
Popeza kuti munthu wamng’ono nthaŵi yomweyo amamva mawu ndi nyimbo, amayi ake angamkhazikitse mtima pansi mwa kulankhula naye, mwa kuimba. Angathenso kukhazika mtima pansi kulira kwake mwa kuika dzanja kumbuyo kwake, kukulunga mwamphamvu. Chilichonse chomwe chimamugwira chimamulimbikitsa. "Kugwira" uku, monga momwe Winnicott amatchulira, kumakhala kwamatsenga monga momwe zimakhalira thupi. Tizilombo tating'ono tating'ono tozungulira kuyamwitsa, kukongoletsa, kusintha, momwe mayi amayendetsera thupi la mwana wake panthawi yomwe amamusamalira, ndizofunika, ngati chilankhulo. Maonekedwe, mawu, kumwetulira komwe kumasinthidwa panthawiyi pamodzi ndizofunikira. Munthawi zogawana izi, aliyense amakhala kalirole wa mzake. Chizoloŵezi cha usana ndi usiku, chakudya chokhazikika, kusamba, maulendo obwerako nthawi ndi nthawi nthawi imodzi amalola mwanayo kupeza zizindikiro komanso kukhala otetezeka kuti ayambe kutsegulira dziko lozungulira.