Maukonde osagwirizana: tikuyembekezera chiyani kuchokera kwa akatswiri azamisala pa intaneti?

Poyesera kusankha katswiri woyenera, nthawi zambiri timaganizira momwe amachitira pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Ena amakopeka ndi akatswiri a zamaganizo amene amalankhula moona mtima ndi mosangalala za moyo wawo. Ndipo wina, m'malo mwake, amasamala za anthu oterowo, amakonda kugwira ntchito ndi wothandizira yemwe samasunga Instagram kapena Facebook.

M'magulu a makasitomala omwe avutika ndi akatswiri osasamala, nthawi zambiri amatsutsana ngati katswiri wa zamaganizo (amene, kwenikweni, ndi munthu yemweyo ndi ife tonse) ali ndi ufulu wogawana zithunzi za banja, Chinsinsi cha pie yomwe mumakonda, kapena nyimbo yatsopano kuchokera kwa wojambula yemwe amamukonda pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti. Tinaganiza zofufuza zomwe akatswiri athu amaganiza za izi - katswiri wa zamaganizo Anastasia Dolganova ndi katswiri wa chithandizo chanthawi yochepa, katswiri wa zamaganizo Anna Reznikova.

Kuwala pawindo

N’chifukwa chiyani nthawi zambiri timaona katswiri wa zamaganizo ngati munthu wakumwamba? Mwina ichi ndi gawo chabe la chitukuko cha sayansi: zaka mazana angapo zapitazo, dokotala yemwe amatha kuphatikizira mafupa kapena kutulutsa dzino ankaonedwa kuti ndi wamatsenga. Ndipo ngakhale pang'ono mantha. Masiku ano, kumbali imodzi, sitidabwa kwambiri ndi zozizwitsa zachipatala, kumbali ina, timadzidalira kwathunthu kwa akatswiri, tikukhulupirira kuti ali ndi udindo pa moyo wathu.

"Kutengera malingaliro a psychotherapist ngati wamatsenga woyipa kapena wabwino, tidafika pamalingaliro a psychotherapist ngati colossus, njira yabwino yomwe mungadalire moyo wanu wosalimba," akufotokoza Anastasia Dolganova. - Kufunika kwa kasitomala pa izi ndikwambiri monga kulephera kwa akatswiri azamisala ndi akatswiri azamisala kuti akwaniritse zilakolako izi ...

Kunja kwa ntchitoyo, pali nthano zonse za zomwe psychotherapist sayenera kukhala nazo, monga katswiri komanso munthu. Mwachitsanzo: mukhoza kumuuza zonse, ndipo adzalandira chirichonse, chifukwa iye ndi wothandizira. Asamandikwiyire, asakhale mwano, asatope ndi ine. Sayenera kulankhula za iye mwini, sayenera kunenepa, kudwala kapena kusudzulana. Sangapite kutchuthi ngati ndikudwala. Iye sangakhoze kutsutsa chakuti ine kutenga kukambirana ndi katswiri wina. Ayenera kukonda malingaliro anga onse ndi zisankho zanga - ndi zina zotero.

Nthawi zina timakhumudwitsidwa ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi zinthu zosayembekezereka - ndipo kutali ndi zonsezi zimagwirizana, kwenikweni, kugwira ntchito. Mwachitsanzo, kasitomala amakana kugwira ntchito ndi dokotala chifukwa "ndiwopanda masewera", ndipo kasitomala amasokoneza misonkhano pambuyo pa magawo atatu chifukwa ofesi ya katswiriyo ilibe dongosolo. Aliyense ali ndi ufulu wa malingaliro ake okhudza kukongola, koma ngakhale katswiri sanganene nthawi zonse chomwe chingakhale choyambitsa kasitomala. Ndipo onse akhoza kuvulazidwa muzochitika izi, komanso mozama kwambiri.

Koma chithumwa chiyeneranso kuchitidwa mosamala kwambiri. Zimachitika kuti ogwiritsa ntchito malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amachita chidwi kwambiri ndi zithunzi za katswiri wa zamaganizo pa mpikisano wa njinga zamoto, pamodzi ndi agogo awo okondedwa kapena amphaka, kuti akufuna kuti apite kwa iye yekha. Kodi njira iyi ya kasitomala imasonyeza chiyani kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo?

“Ngati wofuna chithandizo asankha wochiritsa potengera kuti amalembabe za moyo wake, zingakhale bwino kukambirana za izi mu gawoli. Kawirikawiri, njirayi imabisala malingaliro ambiri komanso zowawa za kasitomala, zomwe zingakambidwe, "anatero Anna Reznikova.

Anastasia Dolganova akukumbukira kuti: “Mwinamwake lingaliro limodzi losamvetsetseka kopambana, ponse paŵiri kwa akatswiri a zamaganizo iwo eni ndi makasitomala awo, nlakuti, kwenikweni, chithandizo chamaganizo n’chothandiza. Uwu si moyo wabwino komanso si anthu abwino. Iyi ndi ntchito yovuta, ndipo halo yachikondi kapena ya ziwanda imangosokoneza.

Kudziwa kapena kusadziwa - ndilo funso!

Makasitomala ena omwe angakhalepo amayesa katswiri potengera momwe amanenera mosabisa mawu pa intaneti. Ndi malingaliro otani omwe munthu amamva ndi munthu yemwe safuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza katswiri ngati munthu ndikusankha katswiri wa zamaganizo malinga ndi mfundo yakuti "ngati simuli pa Facebook, zikutanthauza kuti ndinudi katswiri wabwino"?

“Sindikufuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza inu” amatanthauza kuti “Ndikufuna kuti mukhale munthu wabwino,” akufotokoza motero Anastasia Dolganova. - Ngakhale akatswiri a psychoanalysts, omwe kusadziwonetsera okha kwakhala gawo lofunika kwambiri la luso la akatswiri, tsopano musagwiritse ntchito mfundoyi mwatsatanetsatane. Munthu wathanzi m'maganizo ndi m'maganizo amatha kulekerera munthu wina pafupi naye popanda kumupangitsa - ndipo ichi ndi gawo la kukula ndi chitukuko, ntchito zomwe psychotherapy yakuya idzatsata.

Ntchito ndi gawo chabe la umunthu. Kumbuyo kwa katswiri aliyense pali zogonjetsa ndi zochitika, zolakwa ndi kupambana, zowawa ndi chisangalalo. Akhoza kukonda comedies wacky, feelinging ndi ayezi nsomba. Ndipo lembani za izo - inunso. Ndiye kodi muyenera kulembetsa zosintha za adokotala anu? Chisankho, monga mwachizolowezi, ndi chathu.

"Munthu sangafune kukhala ndi chidziwitso chapamtima chokhudza wodwalayo, monganso sangafune kudziwa za munthu wina aliyense mpaka atatsimikiziridwa ndi ubale," akufotokoza motero Anastasia Dolganova. "Chifukwa chake ili si lamulo lokhalo kwa ochiritsa ndi kasitomala, koma ulemu waumunthu ndi ulemu kwa wina aliyense."

Kodi akatswiri a zamaganizo amachita bwanji ndi nkhaniyi? Nanga n’cifukwa ciani amasankha zinthu zina?

"Sindilembetsa kwa wothandizira wanga pa malo ochezera a pa Intaneti, chifukwa kwa ine ndi malire - anga ndi munthu wina," Anna Reznikova akufotokoza. Apo ayi, ndingakhale ndi zongopeka zomwe zingasokoneze ntchito yathu. Uku si mantha kapena kutsika mtengo: tili ndi ubale wogwira ntchito. Zabwino kwambiri - komabe zimagwira ntchito. Ndipo pankhani zimenezi, sindikufuna kudziwa chilichonse chokhudza katswiri wanga, monganso sindikufuna kuti adziwe za ine ndekha. Kupatula apo, mwina sindine wokonzeka kumuuza zonse ... "

Zowopsa ndi zotsatira zake

Kunena mosabisa mawu kwambiri kungakhale kochititsa chidwi. Ndipo kawirikawiri, malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amangofuna kudziwonetsera ngati katswiri, komanso ngati munthu wamoyo. Kupanda kutero, chifukwa chiyani amafunikira nkomwe, sichoncho? Osati kwenikweni.

"Ndidakumana ndi malingaliro pa intaneti monga: "Anthu, sindinaphunzirepo za psychology ndikupita kuchipatala kuti ndidzichepetse tsopano!" Ndikhoza kumvetsa izi, koma kunena moona mtima kotereku, kuwonjezera pa kulimba mtima ndi zionetsero, timafunikira dongosolo lokhazikika, lokhazikika la chithandizo chakunja ndi kudzidalira, "Anastasia Dolganova akutsimikiza. "Komanso kuzindikira, kutsutsa zomwe mumalemba, komanso kuthekera kodziwiratu yankho."

Ndi chiyani chomwe chimayika pachiwopsezo cha psychotherapist yemwe amalankhula za zochitika ndi mawonekedwe a moyo wake pamasamba ochezera? Choyamba, kuonana moona mtima, momveka bwino ndi kasitomala.

“Katswiri wa zamaganizo Nancy McWilliams analemba kuti: “Odwala amaona kuti mavumbulutsidwe a katswiri wa zamaganizo ndi chinthu chochititsa mantha chosintha, monga ngati wochiritsayo amaulula kwa wodwalayo ndi chiyembekezo chakuti amukhazika mtima pansi,” Anna Reznikova anagwidwa mawu. - Ndiko kuti, cholinga cha chidwi chimachokera kwa kasitomala kupita kwa wothandizira, ndipo motere amasintha malo. Ndipo psychotherapy imaphatikizapo magawo omveka bwino a maudindo: ali ndi kasitomala ndi katswiri. Ndipo kumveka bwino kumeneku kumapereka malo otetezeka kwa makasitomala kuti awone momwe akumvera. ”

Kuonjezera apo, tikhoza kuweruza luso la katswiri pasadakhale, osati nthawi zonse kuzindikira kusiyana kwake monga katswiri komanso munthu wosavuta.

Anna Reznikova akuchenjeza kuti: "Ngati wofuna chithandizo akudziwa zomwe zimachitika pa moyo wa wodwalayo: mwachitsanzo, alibe ana kapena kusudzulana, ndiye kuti sangafune kukambirana ndi katswiri wa mavuto omwewo," akuchenjeza Anna Reznikova. - Lingaliro ndiloti: "Inde, angadziwe chiyani ngati iye sanabereke / kusudzulana / kusintha?"

Koma palinso nkhani zachitetezo. Tsoka ilo, nkhani ngati tsoka la protagonist wa filimuyo "The Sixth Sense" sizipezeka pazenera zokha.

Simudziwa zomwe zili m'maganizo mwa kasitomala wanu kapena achibale ake. Pa gulu limodzi, anzake adanena nkhani: mtsikana anapita kwa katswiri wa zamaganizo kwa nthawi yaitali, ndipo, mwachibadwa, kusintha kunachitika mwa iye. Ndipo mwamuna wake sanasangalale nazo. Chotsatira chake, adapeza katswiri ndikuyamba kuopseza makolo ake, "anatero Anna Reznikova.

Kawirikawiri, chirichonse chikhoza kuchitika, ndipo mulimonsemo, ndi bwino kukhalabe ndi maonekedwe ovuta - osati okhawo omwe ali pafupi nanu, komanso kwa inu nokha. Ndipo kwa katswiri, izi mwina ndizofunikira kwambiri kuposa kasitomala. Kodi pali zida zilizonse zomwe katswiri sayenera kuziyika pamasamba awo ochezera? Kodi ndimotani mmene akatswiri a zamaganizo salemba pamasamba awo?

Anna Reznikova anati: "Chilichonse pano ndi chaumwini ndipo chimadalira njira yomwe wodwalayo amatsatira, komanso mfundo zamakhalidwe abwino zomwe zili pafupi ndi iye," akutero Anna Reznikova. - Sindimayika zithunzi za okondedwa anga, zithunzi zanga kuchokera ku maphwando kapena zovala zosayenera, sindimagwiritsa ntchito mawu oti "colloquial" mu ndemanga. Ndimalemba nkhani za moyo, koma izi ndi zinthu zobwezerezedwanso kwambiri. Zolemba zanga sizonena za ine ndekha, koma kufotokozera owerenga malingaliro omwe ali ofunika kwa ine. "

"Sindingatumize zidziwitso zilizonse zomwe ndimawona pa intaneti," Anastasia Dolganova amagawana. "Sindimachita izi chifukwa cha malire ndi chitetezo. Mukamaulula zambiri za inu nokha, mumakhala pachiwopsezo. Ndipo kunyalanyaza mfundo iyi mwanjira ya "koma ndizichitabe, chifukwa ndikufuna" ndikopusa. Othandizira oyambira nthawi zambiri amakhala ndi nkhani zabodza za iwo eni. Othandizira odziwa zambiri komanso omwe amafunidwa amakonda kukhala osungika. Amangodziulula za iwo eni zomwe angathe kuthana nazo podzudzulidwa pakachitika zinthu zolakwika. ”

Munthu kapena ntchito?

Timafika kwa psychotherapist ngati katswiri, koma katswiri aliyense ndi woyamba ndi munthu. Zomveka kapena ayi, timakonda kapena ayi, ndi nthabwala zofananira kapena ayi - koma kodi psychotherapy ndizotheka popanda kuwonetsa mbali yake "yaumunthu" kwa kasitomala?

"Yankho limadalira mtundu ndi nthawi ya chithandizo," akufotokoza Anastasia Dolganova. - Osati nthawi zonse ntchito zomwe kasitomala amaika kwa wodwalayo zimafunikira kupanga ubale wabwino mkati mwa njirayi. Zina mwa ntchitozo ndi zamakono. Koma zopempha zomwe zimakhudzana ndi kusintha kwakukulu kwaumwini kapena kukhazikitsidwa kwa malo olankhulirana kapena maubwenzi zimafuna kufufuza zochitika zamaganizo ndi khalidwe zomwe zimachitika pakati pa wothandizira ndi wofuna chithandizo panthawi yomwe amagwira ntchito limodzi. Zikatero, kudziwonetsera yekha kwa wothandizira ndi zomwe kasitomala amachitira pa izo zimakhala chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa chitukuko.

Ogwiritsa ntchito mabwalo ndi masamba a anthu onse operekedwa ku ntchito ya akatswiri a zamaganizo nthaŵi zina amalemba kuti: “Katswiri kwa ine si munthu konse, sayenera kulankhula za iye mwini ndipo ayenera kuyang’ana pa ine ndi mavuto anga basi.” Koma kodi ife, m’zochitika zoterozo, sitichepetsa umunthu wa munthu amene timadziika tokha kwa iye yekha kuchita ntchito? Ndipo kodi tinganene kuti izi nzoipa kapena zabwino?

"Sizoyipa nthawi zonse kuchitira dokotala ngati ntchito," akutero Anastasia Dolganova. - Nthawi zina, malingaliro awa amapulumutsa nthawi ndi mphamvu kwa kasitomala ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Wothandizira, yemwe wadutsa kale gawo "Ndikufuna kukhala bwenzi lapamtima komanso mayi wabwino kwa aliyense" mu chitukuko chake, amachitira milandu yotereyi, mwinamwake ngakhale ndi mpumulo. Amadziganizira yekha ngati: "Chabwino, iyi ikhala njira yosavuta, yomveka komanso yaukadaulo kwa miyezi ingapo. Ndikudziwa choti ndichite, ikhala ntchito yabwino. ”

Ngakhale akatswiri atakhala kuti akuchita bwino, sangachitire mwina koma kuchitapo kanthu kuti kasitomala amawona zosankha mwa iye. Kodi akatswiri amakhumudwa akapeza kuti akhoza kukhala "simulator" okha? Tiwafunse!

"Wothandizira wodziwa bwino amatha kukumana ndi zomwe akuwoneka ngati ntchito," akutsimikiza Anastasia Dolganova. - Ngati zimasokoneza ntchito, amadziwa zoyenera kuchita nazo. Ngati izi ziwononga moyo wake, ali ndi woyang'anira yemwe angamuthandize kuthana ndi malingaliro amenewa. Ndikuganiza kuti kuwonetsa wochiritsayo ngati wokhudzidwa kwambiri ndi vuto linanso lomuwonetsa ngati wogwira ntchito. ”

"Ngati katswiri wa zamaganizo akhumudwitsidwa kuti kasitomala amamuchitira mwanjira ina, ichi ndi chifukwa china chopitira kuyang'aniridwa ndi chithandizo chaumwini," akuvomereza Anna Reznikova. Simudzakhala wabwino kwa aliyense. Koma ngati kasitomala wabwera kale kwa inu, zikutanthauza kuti amakukhulupirirani inu ngati katswiri. Ndipo kukhulupirira kumeneku n’kofunika kwambiri kuposa mmene amakuchitirani. Ngati pali chidaliro, kugwira ntchito limodzi kumakhala kothandiza. ”

Ndipatseni buku lodandaula!

Titha kudandaula za izi kapena wochiritsayo, poyang'ana kwambiri malamulo oyendetsera bungwe kapena mayanjano omwe amagwirizana nawo. Komabe, palibe chikalata wamba chovomerezeka kwa akatswiri onse amisala omwe angatanthauze zomwe zimachitika paubwenzi pakati pa wochiritsa ndi kasitomala m'dziko lathu.

“Tsopano anthu ambiri omwe akufunika thandizo amakumana ndi akatswiri osiyanasiyana opanda mwayi. Pambuyo polankhulana nawo, makasitomala amakhumudwitsidwa ndi chithandizo kapena achire kwa nthawi yayitali, akutero Anna Reznikova. - Ndipo kotero, ndondomeko ya makhalidwe abwino, yomwe idzafotokoze mwatsatanetsatane zomwe zingatheke ndi zomwe sizingatheke, ndizofunikira. Tsoka ilo, si aliyense amene angatsogoleredwe ndi nzeru: nthawi zambiri timatha kukumana ndi "akatswiri" omwe alibe maphunziro apamwamba, maola oyenerera a chithandizo chaumwini, kuyang'anira.

Ndipo popeza palibe "lamulo" limodzi lomwe limamangiriza aliyense, ife, makasitomala, timagwiritsa ntchito chida champhamvu chomwe chimapezeka kwambiri kwa ife ngati sitingapeze chilungamo kwa katswiri wosadziwa: timasiya ndemanga zathu pamasamba osiyanasiyana. Webusaiti. Kumbali ina, intaneti imakulitsa kwambiri malire a ufulu wolankhula. Kumbali inayi, imaperekanso mwayi wowongolera: m'madera omwe ndi chizolowezi kusiya ndemanga za akatswiri a zamaganizo, nthawi zambiri timatha kumvetsera mbali imodzi yokha - yomwe ili ndi ufulu wolankhula zomwe zinachitika. Ndipo posachedwapa si ma gurus okha omwe alibe madipuloma omwe "akugawidwa" ...

Anastasia Dolganova anati: "Kwa zaka zitatu zapitazi, ntchito ya makomiti okhudza chikhalidwe cha anthu yasintha kwambiri. "Ngakhale kuti m'mbuyomu ankagwira ntchito makamaka ndi milandu yoopsa kwambiri yodyetsera komanso kuzunza makasitomala ndi anthu omwe si akatswiri, tsopano chikhalidwe cha madandaulo a anthu chapangitsa kuti mamembala a makomiti otere awononge nthawi yawo yambiri akufufuza milandu yosayenera komanso yosakwanira. othandizira, kuthana ndi kubisa zidziwitso, zabodza zenizeni ndi miseche. Kusokonekera kwakukulu kwakhalanso chizindikiro cha nthaŵi: madandaulo amalembedwa mochuluka kuposa kale lonse.”

"Ngati mkati mwa ntchitoyo mwapangidwa njira zotetezera kasitomala: malamulo omwewo, makomiti oyenerera, mapulogalamu oyenerera, kuyang'anira, ndiye kuti palibe njira zotetezera wothandizira. Komanso: wochiritsa wamakhalidwe ali ndi manja omangidwa pankhani yachitetezo chake! - Anastasia Dolganova. - Mwachitsanzo, kasitomala aliyense wa psychologist Masha akhoza, pa malo aliwonse ndi pazifukwa zilizonse, kulemba "Masha si wochizira, koma wotsiriza bastard!" Koma Masha analemba kuti "Kolya ndi wabodza!" sangathe, chifukwa mwanjira imeneyi amatsimikizira za ntchito yawo ndikuphwanya chikhalidwe chachinsinsi, chomwe chili chofunikira kwambiri pa psychotherapy. Ndiko kuti, sizikuwoneka bwino kwambiri kwa anthu onse. Pakali pano palibe njira zogwirira ntchito zowongolera izi, koma pali kale zokambirana ndi malingaliro pamutuwu. Mwinamwake, chinachake chatsopano chidzabadwa kuchokera kwa iwo pakapita nthawi. ”

Kodi ndizoyenera kukonza padera zomwe zingathandize akatswiri azamisala kuyendayenda padziko lonse lapansi pa intaneti, zomwe mwanjira ina zimatanthawuza kunena mosabisa kanthu? Mwina iwo eni amafunikira kutetezedwa ku kusintha kwa dzikoli kuposa makasitomala.

"Ndikukhulupirira kuti mfundo zatsopano ndizofunikira pamakhalidwe abwino omwe angalole kuti ochiritsa athe kupeza chitsogozo m'malo amakono a anthu ndikusamalira chitetezo chamakasitomala awo komanso awo. Monga mfundo zoterezi, ndikuwona, mwachitsanzo, kutanthauzira momveka bwino kwaubwenzi ndi malingaliro pa zomwe wodwalayo ayenera kuchita komanso sayenera kuchita ngati anthu akutsutsa ntchito yake kapena umunthu wake, "akumaliza Anastasia Dolganova.