Kodi ana achikulire ayenera kutsatira mapangano a makolo awo?

Choyamba, zinthu zoonekeratu. Ngati ana ali kale akuluakulu, koma osadzipezera okha, tsogolo lawo limatsimikiziridwa ndi makolo awo. Ngati ana sakonda zimenezi, akhoza kuthokoza makolo awo chifukwa cha thandizo limene analandira kuchokera kwa makolo awo n’kupita kukamanga moyo wawo, osafunanso thandizo la makolo. Kumbali ina, ngati ana achikulire akukhala mwaulemu, mitu yawo ili paphewa ndi mwaulemu kwa makolo awo, makolo anzeru angagaŵire iwo chosankha cha nkhani zazikulu za moyo wa ana awo.

Chilichonse chili ngati bizinesi: ngati wotsogolera wanzeru amayang'anira zochitika za mwiniwake, ndiye chifukwa chiyani mwiniwakeyo ayenera kulowerera pazochitika zake. Mwamwayi, wotsogolera amagonjera mwiniwake, ndipo amasankha chilichonse payekha. Momwemonso ndi ana: akamalamulira moyo wawo mwanzeru, makolo samakwera m'miyoyo yawo.

Koma si ana okha amene amasiyana, makolo nawonso amasiyana. Palibe zochitika zakuda ndi zoyera m'moyo, koma kuti zikhale zosavuta, nditchula milandu iwiri: makolo ndi anzeru osati.

Ngati makolo ali anzeru, ngati anawo ndiponso anthu amene ali nawo pafupi amawaona choncho, ndiye kuti anawo amawamvera nthawi zonse. Ziribe kanthu momwe iwo aliri, nthawizonse. Chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa chakuti makolo anzeru sangaumirire kwa ana awo achikulire kuti sikuthekanso kuwaumiriza achikulire, ndipo unansi wa makolo anzeru ndi ana okulirapo kale uli unansi wa kulemekezana. Ana amafunsa maganizo a makolo awo, makolo poyankha izi funsani maganizo a ana - ndi kudalitsa kusankha kwawo. Ndi zophweka: pamene ana amakhala anzeru ndi olemekezeka, makolo salowereranso m'miyoyo yawo, koma amangosirira zisankho zawo ndikuwathandiza kuganiza mozama zonse bwino pazovuta. N’chifukwa chake ana amamvera makolo awo nthawi zonse ndipo amavomerezana nawo.

Ana amalemekeza makolo awo ndipo, popanga banja lawolawo, amalingalira pasadakhale kuti chosankha chawo chidzayenereranso makolo awo. Madalitso a makolo ndi chitsimikizo chabwino cha tsogolo la banja lamphamvu.

Komabe, nthawi zina nzeru zimanyenga makolo. Pali zochitika pamene makolo salinso olondola, ndiyeno ana awo, monga anthu okhwima mokwanira ndi odalirika, angathe ndipo ayenera kupanga zosankha zodziimira payekha.

Nayi nkhani yochokera muzochita zanga, kalata:

“Ndinalowa m’mavuto: Ndinakhala kapolo wa amayi anga okondedwa. Mwachidule. Ndine Chitata. Ndipo amayi anga amatsutsana kwambiri ndi mkwatibwi wa Orthodox. Sichimayika chimwemwe changa poyamba, koma momwe zidzakhalire kwa iye. Ndikumumvetsa. Koma inunso simungawuze mtima wanu. Funsoli limabwerezedwa nthawi ndi nthawi, pambuyo pake sindiri wokondwa kuti ndikubweretsanso. Amayamba kudzidzudzula pa chilichonse, kudzizunza ndi misozi, kusowa tulo, kunena kuti alibenso mwana wamwamuna, ndi zina zotero mu mzimu umenewo. Ali ndi zaka 82, ndi blockade ya Leningrad, ndipo powona momwe amadzivutitsa, poopa thanzi lake, funsoli likukhazikikanso m'mlengalenga. Akanakhala kuti anali wamng’ono, ndikanaumirira ndekha, mwinanso kumenyetsa chitseko, akanavomera ataona adzukulu ake. Pali milandu yotereyi, komanso m'malo athu, omwe si chitsanzo kwa iye. Achibale nawonso anachitapo kanthu. Timakhala limodzi m’nyumba ya zipinda zitatu. Ndingasangalale ndikakumana ndi munthu wa Chitata, koma tsoka. Ngati, pangakhale chivomerezo kuchokera kumbali yake, ngati mwana yekhayo anali wokondwa, chifukwa chisangalalo cha makolo ndi pamene ana awo akusangalala, mwinamwake poyamba atangoyamba "kufufuza" kwa mnzanga wa moyo, ndikadakumana ndi Chitata. Koma nditayamba kufufuza, mwina maso anga sangakumane ndi Chitata ... Inde, ndipo pali atsikana a Orthodox, ndikufuna kupitiriza chiyanjano, ndinasankha mmodzi wa iwo. Palibe funso lotere kuchokera kumbali yawo. Ndili ndi zaka 45, ndafika poti sindidzabwereranso, moyo wanga wadzaza ndi zachabechabe tsiku lililonse ... Ndichite chiyani?

Zinthu sizili zophweka, koma yankho ndilotsimikizika: pankhaniyi, muyenera kupanga chisankho chanu, osamvera amayi anu. Amayi akulakwitsa.

Zaka 45 ndi zaka zomwe mwamuna wokonda banja ayenera kukhala kale ndi banja. Yakwana nthawi. Zikuwonekeratu kuti, zinthu zina kukhala zofanana, ngati pali kusankha pakati pa Chitata (mwachiwonekere, izi zikutanthauza kuti mtsikana woleredwa kwambiri mu miyambo ya Chisilamu) ndi mtsikana wa Orthodox, ndizolondola kusankha mtsikana amene mumakumana naye. khalani ndi zikhalidwe zapafupi. Ndiko kuti, Chitata.

Ndilibe chikondi m'kalata iyi - chikondi kwa mtsikana amene mlembi wa kalatayo adzakhala naye. Mwamuna amaganizira za amayi ake, amamangiriridwa ndi amayi ake ndipo amasamalira thanzi lawo - izi ndi zolondola komanso zabwino kwambiri, koma kodi amaganiza za mtsikana yemwe angakhale kale mkazi wake, kumuberekera ana? Kodi akuganiza za ana amene angakhale akuthamanga kale ndi kukwera pamapazi ake? Muyenera kukonda mkazi wanu wam’tsogolo ndi ana anu pasadakhale, ganizirani za iwo ngakhale musanakumane nawo, konzekerani msonkhano umenewu kudakali zaka zambiri.

Kodi makolo angasokoneze moyo wa ana awo? Makolo ndi ana anzeru ali, m'pamenenso zimatheka, ndipo ndizofunikira. Makolo anzeru amakhala ndi chidziwitso chokwanira m'moyo kuti athe kuwona zinthu zambiri pasadakhale, pasadakhale, kuti athe kukuuzani komwe mungapite kukaphunzira, komwe mungagwire ntchito, komanso ngakhale omwe muyenera kulumikiza tsogolo lanu ndi omwe simukutero. Ana anzeru okha amasangalala pamene makolo anzeru amawauza zonsezi, motero, mu nkhani iyi, makolo samasokoneza moyo wa ana, koma nawo moyo wa ana.

Tsoka ilo, makolo ndi ana omwe amavutitsa kwambiri komanso opusa, makolo otere samayenera kulowerera m'miyoyo ya ana, ndipo m'pamene pamafunika ... iwo! Koma thandizo lopusa ndi lopanda nzeru la makolo limangoyambitsa zionetsero komanso zopusa (koma mopanda mantha!) Zosankha za ana.

Makamaka pamene anawo akhala achikulire kwa nthawi yaitali, amadzipezera okha ndalama ndikukhala padera ...

Ngati mayi wachikulire yemwe alibe malingaliro anzeru abwera kunyumba kwanu ndikuyamba kukuphunzitsani momwe mipando yanu iyenera kukhalira komanso omwe muyenera kukumana nawo komanso omwe simuyenera kukumana nawo, simungamumvetsere mozama: mudzamwetulira, kusintha. nkhaniyo, ndipo posakhalitsa ingoyiwalani za zokambiranazi. Ndipo moyenerera. ⁠​⁠Koma ngati mayi wachikulire ameneyu ali amayi ako, ndiye kuti pazifukwa zina makambitsirano ameneŵa amakhala aatali, olemetsa, ndi kukuwa ndi misozi… “Amayi, izi nzopatulika!”? - Zoonadi, zopatulika: ana ayenera kusamalira makolo awo okalamba. Ngati ana akhala anzeru kuposa makolo awo, ndipo izi, mwamwayi, nthawi zambiri zimachitika, ndiye kuti ana ayenera kuphunzitsa makolo awo, kuwaletsa kugwera mu senile negativism, kuwathandiza kukhulupirira mwa iwo okha, kulenga chisangalalo kwa iwo ndi kusamalira matanthauzo awo. moyo. Makolo ayenera kudziŵa kuti akufunikabe, ndipo ana anzeru angatsimikizire kuti akufunikiradi makolo awo kwa zaka zambiri.