Zamkatimu
Mumatsegula moyo wanu kwa iye, ndipo poyankha mumamva mayankho omwe ali pa ntchito a interlocutor osakhudzidwa? Inu mukudziwa zonse za iye, koma iye sadziwa kanthu za inu? Kodi mukuwona tsogolo limodzi naye, koma sakudziwa komwe angapite kutchuthi kwina? Mwayi wokondedwa wanu samakuganizirani kwambiri. Nawu mndandanda womwe mungadziwire momwe ubale wanu uliri.
Sitingathe kupanga maubwenzi ozama komanso okhudza mtima ndi anthu onse omwe timakumana nawo. Ngati simukumana kawirikawiri ndi munthu ndipo simukhala pamodzi nthawi zambiri, simungaone mfundo yakuti muyambe chibwenzi. Komabe, maubwenzi achiphamaso m'banjamo angagwirizane ndi anthu ochepa. Makamaka ngati mukufuna kumva kugwirizana kwambiri ndi munthu. Zikatere, pabuka mafunso ambiri.
kugwirizana
Poyamba, ngati mukuyesera kudziwa chomwe ubale wanu uli, ndipo ndinu wokonzeka kuwerenga nkhani kuti mumvetse, ndi chizindikiro chakuti mumasamala. Koma ngakhale inu nokha ndinu munthu wozama, izi sizikutsimikizira ubale wakuya. Ndipotu, iwo samadalira inu nokha. Ngati anthu onse sangathe kapena sakufuna kulumikizana mozama, ubalewo umasokonekera.
Ngakhale mnzanuyo ali umunthu wozama, izi sizikutanthauza kuti ali woyenera kwa inu. Panthaŵi imodzimodziyo, kulankhulana ndi anthu amene amakumvetsetsani mozama kumabweretsa chisangalalo ndi chikhutiro chowonjezereka.
Zoyenera kuchita ngati ubale wanu ndi wokondedwa wanu uli "wosavuta"?
Ngati mnzanuyo sangakwanitse (kapena sakufuna) kukhazikitsa ubale weniweni, muyenera kusintha zomwe mukuyembekezera. Mwinamwake amawopa kuyandikira mofulumira kwambiri kapena amamvetsetsa kuya kwa chiyanjano mosiyana ndi momwe mumachitira.
Ngati mnzanuyo akufunanso kutenga chiyanjano ku mlingo wina, ndipo malingaliro ake okhudza ubale wakuya ndi ofanana ndi anu, muli ndi mwayi. Ndipo ngati sichoncho? Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati ali wokonzeka kuyandikira?
Katswiri wazamisala Mike Bundrent watchula zinthu 27 za maubwenzi osaya omwe angakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa momwe zinthu zilili.
Ubale wanu ndi wachiphamaso ngati…
Simudziwa zomwe mnzanuyo akufuna pamoyo wake komanso zomwe amakonda.
Simukumvetsetsa momwe moyo wanu uliri wofanana kapena wosiyana.
Simudziwa komwe mumagwirizana kapena kusagwirizana.
Simungathe kudziyika nokha mu nsapato za mnzanu.
Osalankhula zakukhosi kwanu ndi zomwe zakuchitikirani.
Kuyesetsa nthawi zonse kulamulirana.
Osaganizira zomwe wokondedwa wanu akufunikira kwa inu.
Sindikudziwa zomwe mukufuna kuchokera kwa okondedwa wanu.
Kukangana nthawi zonse ndi kutukwana pazinthu zazing'ono.
Khalani ndi zosangalatsa zokha, zosangalatsa kapena mbali ina.
Mumanena miseche kumbuyo kwa wina ndi mzake.
Muzicheza nthawi yochepa.
Khalani osayanjanitsika ndi zolinga za moyo wa wina ndi mzake.
Nthawi zonse lingalirani za kukhala paubwenzi ndi munthu wina.
Kunamiza wina ndi mzake.
Simudziwa kusagwirizana mwaulemu.
Sanakambirane za malire aumwini.
Kugonana ndi makina.
Simumapeza chisangalalo chofanana ndi kugonana.
Osagonana.
Osalankhula za kugonana.
Simudziwa mbiri ya wina ndi mzake.
Pewani kuyang'anana m'maso.
Pewani kukhudzana.
Musaganize za mnzanu pamene palibe.
Osagawana maloto ndi zokhumba za wina ndi mzake.
Mumasokoneza nthawi zonse.
Pezani mfundo
Ngati muzindikira banja lanu pachitsanzo cha mfundo zomwe zalembedwa, izi sizikutanthauza kuti ubale wanu ndi wosaya. Mumgwirizano womwe okondedwa sasiyanirana wina ndi mnzake ndikuzindikirana ngati anthu odziyimira pawokha omwe ali ndi zomwe akumana nazo komanso momwe akumvera, mndandanda wazinthu sizofala kwambiri.
Maubwenzi osaya sikutanthauza zoipa kapena zolakwika. Mwina ili ndi gawo loyamba lopita ku chinthu chachikulu. Ndipo kugwirizana kozama, sikumakula nthawi yomweyo, ndi ndondomeko ya sitepe ndi sitepe yomwe nthawi zambiri imatenga zaka.
Lankhulani ndi mnzanuyo, muuzeni zakukhosi kwanu, ndipo ngati amachitira mawu anu momvetsetsa ndikuwaganizira, ubalewo sungathe kutchedwanso wachiphamaso.