Ngati munakulira m’banja losagwira ntchito bwino kapena m’banja lokhala ndi nyengo yoipa, mukhoza kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnzanu amene sali bwino. Mwinamwake mwalowa nawo kale, akutero wothandizira mabanja Audrey Sherman.
Nthawi zambiri, maubwenzi osokonekera kapena osayenera ndi okondedwa amakhala ofanana ndi omwe adawonedwa m'banja mwanu. Ndipo apa ndi apo pali mavuto okhudzana ndi kugwirizana, malire aumwini, kudzidalira, kudalira wina, kupanda chidaliro, ndi kufunitsitsa kupirira nkhanza zakuthupi kapena zamaganizo.
Mwa osankhidwa, sitikopeka ndi makhalidwe ake, nthawi zambiri osasangalatsa, koma chifukwa chakuti mphamvu zonse za ubale ndizodziwika kale. Zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti tikhoza kulamulira zomwe timadziwa kale, mosiyana ndi zatsopano, zomwe zimawopsya. Ngati wina amatichitira bwino kwambiri, timayamba kuyembekezera chinyengo chodetsedwa, bwanji ngati akudziyesa ndipo ali pafupi kusonyeza nkhope yake yeniyeni? Ubongo umayesetsa kutsimikizira kuti ndi bwino kudziwa zoona nthawi yomweyo.
Ubale wosokonekera ndi woyipa kuposa wopanda ubale
Ngati talowa kale mkati mwa machitidwe a maubwenzi osayenera, ndiye kuti taphunzira kusewera ndi malamulowa. Ngati wina watilamulira mopitirira muyeso, timayamba kuchita mwaukali. Ndi munthu wankhanza ndi waukali, "timayenda molunjika" kuti tisakhumudwitse. Ngati mnzanuyo ali kutali ndi maganizo, timadziwa momwe tingamangirire kwa ife, kusonyeza kuti ndife oipa komanso kuti timafunikira thandizo nthawi zonse. Makhalidwe onsewa amaoneka ngati abwinobwino chifukwa amawadziwa bwino.
Ubale wosokonekera ndi woyipa kuposa wopanda ubale. Amayamwa mphamvu zomwe tingagwiritse ntchito podzikulitsa. Amawononga moyo wa anthu, zimakhudza thanzi komanso zimakhala zovuta kupeza bwenzi kuti apange maubwenzi abwino.
apa Zizindikiro 9 mfundo yoti mnzanuyo si munthu amene ayenera kukhala naye pachibwenzi:
- Iye (iye) amakunyozani, kukupwetekani kapena kukuchititsani manyazi ndi mawu. Ngakhale atapepesa, musanyengedwe, khalidwe lotere ndilosavomerezeka.
- Wokondedwayo ndi woopsa kapena wankhanza. Kodi amakuwopsezani kuti akuchitirani zoipa ngati mutamusiya? Mukugwidwa, nthawi yakwana yothetsa chibwenzi.
- Monga "chilango" chifukwa cha zolakwa zazing'ono, amayamba kukunyalanyazani kapena kukuchitirani ndi kuzizira kwambiri. Uku ndikunyenga.
- Mnzanuyo amakudzudzulani, amafuula, amalola kumenya mbama, kukankha, kukumenya.
- Iye (iye) amasowa mwadzidzidzi kwa kanthawi popanda kufotokoza.
- Amadzilola yekha khalidwe lomwe tafotokozazi, koma amadzudzula iwe kapena omwe kale anali nawo chifukwa cha zotsatira zosapambana za chiyanjano.
- Wokondedwayo amakubisirani zambiri zokhudza moyo wake. Simutenga nawo mbali pakupanga zisankho, zachuma ndi zabanja za okondedwa.
- Malingaliro anu satanthauza kanthu. Wokondedwayo nthawi yomweyo amakana malingaliro aliwonse.
- Simutenga nawo mbali pazaubwenzi, amangolankhula ndi abwenzi ake. Mukusiyidwa nokha, koma muyenera kuphika, kuchapa, kusamalira ana ndi kugwira ntchito zina. Umakhala ngati wantchito wopanda malipiro.
Ngati muwona zina mwazomwe zili pamwambazi paubwenzi, ndi nthawi yoti muchoke. Mukuyenera kukhala ndi moyo wotukuka komanso wosangalatsa ndi munthu amene angakukondeni ndi kukusamalirani.
Amene ali mu maubwenzi opambana ndipo ali ndi "gulu lothandizira" la abwenzi ndi okondedwa awo amakhala nthawi yayitali ndikudwala mocheperapo kusiyana ndi omwe ali osakwatiwa kapena kusunga maubwenzi osagwirizana. Zimayambitsa kusungulumwa, komanso nkhawa, kuvutika maganizo, kupsa mtima kosatha, kulephera kumvetsera, ndi mavuto ena. Njira yokhayo yochotsera zizindikirozi ndikutuluka mu phompho la kusasamala kosalekeza.
Za Wolemba: Audrey Sherman ndi wothandizira mabanja.