Zamkatimu
Kodi kukhala apongozi asanakhale mayi?
Nthawi itakwana yoti agone ndi wachikondi wake, Jessica amayenera kudzuka kuti akonze chakudya cham'mawa kwa ana a darling wake watsopano. Mofanana ndi iye, atsikana ambiri ali paubwenzi ndi mwamuna amene ali kale bambo. Kaŵirikaŵiri amasiya kukhala osangalala monga okwatirana “opanda ana” ngakhale kuti iwowo sanakhalepo ndi umayi. Mwakuchita, amakhala m'banja losakanikirana ndipo amayenera kuvomerezedwa ndi ana. Sizophweka nthawi zonse.
Kukhala bwenzi latsopano ndi mayi wopeza pa nthawi yomweyo
"Ine ndine 'apongozi', monga amanenera, mwana wazaka ziwiri ndi theka. Ubale wanga ndi iye ukuyenda bwino kwambiri, ndiwokongola. Ndinapeza malo anga mwachangu posunga gawo losangalatsa: Ndimamuuza nkhani, timaphikira limodzi. Chomwe chimakhala chovuta kukhala nacho ndikuzindikira kuti, ngakhale atandikonda, akakhala achisoni, amandikana ndikuyitana abambo ake, "akuchitira umboni Emilie, wazaka ziwiri. Kwa katswiri Catherine Audibert, chirichonse ndi funso la kuleza mtima. Atatu opangidwa ndi bwenzi latsopano, mwana ndi abambo, ayenera kupeza liwiro lake kuti akhale banja lophatikizana palokha. Sizophweka monga momwe zikuwonekera. “Kulinganizanso banja kaŵirikaŵiri kumayambitsa mavuto m’banja ndi pakati pa kholo lopeza ndi mwana. Ngakhale mnzake watsopanoyo atachita zonse zotheka kuti ziyende bwino, amakumana ndi zenizeni zomwe, nthawi zambiri, zimakhala zosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe amaganizira. Chilichonse chidzadalira zomwe adakumana nazo ali mwana, ndi makolo ake. Ngati adavutika ndi bambo wopondereza kapena kusudzulana kovutirapo, zowawa zakale zimatsitsimutsidwanso ndi dongosolo latsopano labanja, makamaka ndi ana a mnzake, "akutero katswiri wazamisala.
Kupeza malo anu m'banja losakanikirana
Funso limodzi limawavutitsa kwambiri amayiwa: ndi ntchito yanji yomwe ayenera kukhala nayo ndi mwana wa mnzawo? “Koposa zonse, uyenera kukhala woleza mtima kuti ukhazikitse unansi wokhazikika ndi mwana wa winayo. Sitiyenera kukakamiza mwankhanza njira yophunzitsira, kapena kukhala mkangano wamuyaya. Malangizo: aliyense ayenera kutenga nthawi kuti adye. Sitiyenera kuiwala kuti anawo akhala kale, adalandira maphunziro kuchokera kwa amayi ndi abambo awo asanapatukane. Apongozi watsopanoyo adzayenera kuthana ndi izi komanso zizolowezi zomwe zakhazikitsidwa kale. Chinthu chinanso chofunika: zonse zidzadalira zomwe mkaziyu akuyimira m'maganizo a mwanayo. Tisaiwale kuti zimatengera malo atsopano mu mtima wa abambo awo. Kodi chisudzulo chinayenda bwanji, kodi iye “ali ndi udindo” pa icho? Kulinganiza kwa banja komwe apongozi akufuna kukhazikitsa kudzadaliranso udindo womwe anali nawo, kapena ayi, pakupatukana kwa makolo a mwanayo, ”akutero katswiriyo. Kusintha kwa nyumba, kamvekedwe kabwino, bedi ... mwana nthawi zina amakhala ndi vuto lakukhala mosiyana asanasudzulane. Kuvomera kubwera kunyumba kwa atate wake, kuzindikira kuti ali ndi “wokondedwa” watsopano sikophweka kwa mwana. Zitha kutenga nthawi yayitali. Nthawi zina zinthu zimasokonekera, mwachitsanzo, pamene apongozi apempha mwanayo kuti achite chinachake, mwanayo akhoza kuyankha mwachidule kuti "si mayi ake". Anthu okwatirana ayenera kukhala ogwirizana komanso osasinthasintha pa udindo wawo panthawiyi. "Yankho loyenerera ndilo kulongosola kwa ana kuti ndithudi, si amayi awo, koma kuti ndi munthu wamkulu yemwe amakhala ndi abambo awo ndipo amapanga banja latsopano. Bambo ndi mnzake watsopano ayenera kuyankha ndi mawu ofanana ndi anawo. Ndikofunikiranso m'tsogolo, ngati adzakhala ndi mwana pamodzi. Ana onse ayenera kulandira maphunziro ofanana, ana ochokera ku mgwirizano wakale, ndi omwe amachokera ku mgwirizano watsopano, "akutero katswiri.
Kwa mkazi yemwe sanakhale mayi, kodi izi zisintha bwanji?
Azimayi achichepere omwe amasankha moyo wabanja asanakhale ndi mwana, adzakhala ndi chokumana nacho chachifundo chosiyana kwambiri ndi abwenzi awo aakazi m’banja lopanda ana. “Mkazi amene amabwera m’moyo wa mwamuna wachikulire amene poyamba anali ndi ana amasiya kukhala mkazi woyamba kum’bala. Sadzakhala ndi "ukwati" wa okwatirana kumene, akungoganizira za iwo okha. Mwamunayo, panthawiyi, wangopatukana ndipo adzakumbukira zonse zomwe zimakhudza ana pafupi kapena kutali. Sali muubwenzi wa 100%, "akufotokoza Catherine Audibert. Azimayi ena amaona ngati sakukhudzidwa ndi zomwe mnzawo amawadera nkhawa kwambiri. “Azimayi amenewa, amene sanakhalepo ndi umayi, akasankha mwamuna amene ali kale tate, kwenikweni ndi bambo amene amawanyengerera. Nthawi zambiri, muzochitika zanga monga psychoanalyst, ndimawona kuti abwenzi a abambowa ndi "abwino" kuposa abambo omwe anali nawo paubwana wawo. Amaona mwa iye mikhalidwe yautate imene amayamikira, imene amafunafuna okha. Iye ndi mwamuna "wabwino" mwanjira, monga "wangwiro" bambo-bambo kwa ana amtsogolo omwe adzakhala nawo pamodzi ", amasonyeza kuchepa. Ambiri mwa akazi ameneŵa amaganiza, kwenikweni, za tsiku limene adzafuna kukhala ndi mwana ndi mnzawo. Mayi wina anakamba za kuvutika maganizo kumeneku kuti: “Kusamalira ana ake kumandichititsa kukhala wofunitsitsa kukhala ndi ana anga, kupatulapo kuti mnzangayo sanakonzekere kuyambiranso. Ndimadzifunsanso mafunso ambiri okhudza momwe ana ake angavomerezere akadzakula. Mwachibadwa, ndimakonda kuganiza kuti anawo akamayandikana kwambiri, m’pamenenso amakhalira limodzi ndi m’bale wina. Ndikuwopa kuti mwana watsopanoyu sadzalandiridwa kwenikweni ndi azichimwene ake, popeza adzakhala ndi kusiyana kwakukulu. Sizinafike mawa, koma ndikuvomereza kuti zimandisokoneza ”, akuchitira umboni Aurélie, mtsikana wazaka 27, m'banja ndi mwamuna ndi bambo wa ana awiri.
Vomerezani kuti mnzakeyo ali kale ndi banja
Kwa amayi ena, ndi moyo wabanja wapano womwe ungakhale wodetsa nkhawa za tsogolo la banjali. "M'malo mwake, chomwe chimandidetsa nkhawa ndichakuti mwamuna wanga pamapeto pake adzakhala ndi mabanja awiri. Pamene adakwatiwa, adakumana kale ndi mimba ya mkazi wina, amadziwa bwino momwe angasamalire mwana. Mwadzidzidzi, ndimakhala wosungulumwa pang’ono pamene tikufuna kukhala ndi mwana. Ndikuwopa kufananizidwa, kuchita zoipa kuposa iyeyo kapena mkazi wake wakale. Ndipo koposa zonse, modzikonda, ndikadakonda kumanga banja lathu la 3. Nthawi zina ndimaona kuti mwana wake ali ngati wolowa pakati pathu. Pali zovuta zokhudzana ndi kusungidwa, alimony, sindimaganiza kuti ndikudutsa zonsezi ! », Anachitira umboni Stéphanie, 31, paubwenzi ndi mwamuna, bambo wa mnyamata wamng'ono. Pali zabwino zina, komabe, malinga ndi psychotherapist. Apongozi akakhala mayi m’malo mwake, amalandila ana ake mwabata, m’banja lopangidwa kale. Adzakhala atakhala kale ndi ana aang'ono ndipo adzakhala ataphunzira za uchembere. Mantha okhawo omwe akaziwa ali nawo ndi oti sangakwanitse. Monga momwe amakhalira amayi kwa nthawi yoyamba.