Ambiri aife timalemba mndandanda wa zinthu zomwe tingafune kuchita kapena kuyesa m'miyoyo yathu. Ndipo amatsogozedwa mu izi, ndithudi, ndi zilakolako zaumwini, zongoganizira chabe. Ndipo ndi mfundo ziti zomwe ziyenera kukhala zofunika kwambiri pankhani ya chisinthiko? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Glen Geher amalankhula za izi.
Palibe amene amakhala kwamuyaya. Izi ndi zomvetsa chisoni, koma chochita, umu ndi momwe dziko limagwirira ntchito. Ndataya anzanga atatu apamtima m’chaka chatha. Anthu omwe ali m'manja mwawo. Aliyense wa iwo, m’njira yakeyake, anapereka kwa ena zochuluka kuposa zimene akanampatsa pobwezera. Imfa ya bwenzi ili ndi chotulukapo chosangalatsa. Zimakupangitsani kuganizira za moyo wanu:
- Kodi ndikuchita khama lokwanira kulera mbadwo wotsatira?
- Kodi ndikuchitapo kanthu kuti moyo wa anthu ondizungulira ukhale wabwino?
- Ndi zolinga ziti zomwe ndiyenera kuziyika patsogolo kuti ndikule bwino?
- Kodi ndikukhala moyo wanga wabwino koposa?
- Kodi pali china chake chomwe ndikufuna kukwaniritsa nthawi isanathe?
- Kodi ndili ndi mndandanda wazomwe ndiyenera kuchita m'moyo? Ndipo ngati ndi choncho, ndi chiyani chomwe chiyenera kukhala mmenemo?
Chimwemwe ndi ndalama zimachulukitsidwa
Mindanda ya zolinga za moyo nthawi zambiri imakhala ndi zinthu zomwe, zikakwaniritsidwa, zingatipangitse kukhala osangalala kwambiri kapena kutilola kukhala ndi malingaliro abwino - chisangalalo, chisangalalo, kukwera. Mwachitsanzo, cholinga chake ndi kupanga kulumpha kwa parachuti. Pitani ku Paris. Pitani ku konsati ya The Rolling Stones. Zachidziwikire, zonsezi ndi zokhumba zokongola komanso zoseketsa. Inenso ndakwaniritsa zolinga zingapo zofanana.
Koma malingaliro aumunthu ndi zotsatira za njira zachisinthiko, zomwe zazikulu ndizo kusankha kwachilengedwe. Ndipo dongosolo lathu lamalingaliro silinapangidwe kuti lipeze kukhazikika kokhazikika pazochitika zinazake. Chisangalalo ndi chachikulu, koma si choncho. Kuchokera kumalingaliro achisinthiko, chisangalalo ndi chikhalidwe chomwe chimawonetsa zinthu zopambana pa nkhani za kupulumuka ndi kubereka. Sichinthu chofunika kwambiri pa moyo.
Mikhalidwe yocheperako yosangalatsa yamalingaliro, monga kuda nkhawa, mkwiyo, ndi chisoni, ndizofunika kwambiri kwa ife kuchokera kumalingaliro a chisinthiko. Ndi ndalama, nkhani ndi yofanana. Inde, zingakhale bwino kunena kuti mwapanga mamiliyoni a madola. Ndalama zitha kugwiritsidwa ntchito mwanjira iliyonse, palibe kukayikira za izo. Koma muzofufuza zamphamvu pamutuwu, chuma ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi moyo sizigwirizana kwambiri.
Chifukwa chake, kuchuluka kwa ndalama kumakhudzana kwambiri ndi kukhutitsidwa ndi moyo kuposa kuchuluka kwake. Pankhani ya zolinga za moyo, ndalama ndizofanana kwambiri ndi chisangalalo: ndi bwino kukhala nazo kusiyana ndi kusakhala nazo. Koma ichi si cholinga chachikulu.
Evolutionary Wish List
Malingaliro a Darwin onena za chiyambi ndi chiyambi cha moyo, kunena mofatsa, ndi okhutiritsa kwambiri. Ndipo amafunikira kumvetsetsa kwa zochitika zonse zaumunthu. Chifukwa chake nawu mndandanda wachidule wa zolinga zofunika m'moyo, zophatikizidwa ndi njira yachisinthiko m'malingaliro:
1. Konzani ndikugwirizanitsanso
Chimodzi mwa maphunziro akuluakulu a sayansi yamakono yokhudzana ndi khalidwe lachisinthiko chiri chokhudzana ndi mfundo yakuti psyche yaumunthu ndi malingaliro amapangidwa kuti azikhala m'dera laling'ono. Mkhalidwewu uli ndi zotulukapo zowopsa ku psychology ya anthu. Monga lamulo, timagwira ntchito bwino m'magulu ang'onoang'ono, timadziwa onse ofunikira omwe ali nawo - poyerekeza ndi magulu akuluakulu, kumene aliyense sadziwika komanso wopanda nkhope.
Chifukwa chake, ngati gulu lanu lachiyanjano ndi anthu 150 okha, ngakhale maubwenzi ochepa osweka angayambitse zotsatira zomwe zimakhudza kupulumuka. Kafukufuku waposachedwa mu labu yanga adawonetsa kuti kuchulukana kwa mikangano yambiri, kusagwirizana kumabweretsa zotsatira zoyipa zamakhalidwe ndi malingaliro kwa ife. Anthu otere amasiyanitsidwa ndi kalembedwe kodetsa nkhawa, kukana chithandizo chamagulu komanso kusakhazikika kwamalingaliro.
Ngakhale kuti kupatukana pakati pa anthu sikwachilendo, malinga ndi chisinthiko, njira yochotsera ena m’moyo iyenera kuchitidwa mosamala kwambiri. Ngati muli ndi anzanu amene munathetsa chibwenzi, ingakhale nthawi yokonza. Kumbukirani mmene moyo ulili waufupi.
2. "Lipiranitu"
Anthu akhala akuchokera m'magulu ang'onoang'ono a chikhalidwe cha anthu kumene kukondana kwakhala chinthu chofunikira kwambiri pa khalidwe. Timathandiza ena ndi chiyembekezo choti atithandize. M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kupyolera mu mfundo imeneyi, takulitsa maubwenzi olimba achikondi ndi mabwenzi ndi anthu ena a m’deralo. M'nkhaniyi, ndizopindulitsa kwambiri kukulitsa makhalidwe a munthu wodzipereka. Munthu amene amadziwika kuti ndi wothandizira amadaliridwa kwambiri ndi ena ndipo amakhala wokonzeka kumulowetsa m'magulu ang'onoang'ono olankhulana.
Kuonjezera apo, kudzipereka ndi kothandiza pa chitukuko cha anthu onse. Anthu amene amathera nthawi ndi mphamvu zawo kuthandiza ena kuposa mmene amachitira mwambo amaonedwa kuti ndi atsogoleri enieni m’deralo. Chotsatira chake, osati iwo okha omwe amalandira malipiro, komanso malo awo omwe ali pafupi - banja lawo, mabwenzi awo. Kulipira patsogolo kumapindulitsa aliyense. Mukuganizira zomwe mungawonjezere pa ndondomeko ya moyo wanu? Pezani njira yochitira zinthu zothandiza anthu amdera lanu. Basi.
3. Dzipambanitseni
Kumvetsetsa momwe nthawi yathu iliri yochepa komanso yocheperako, ndikofunikira kuganizira momwe mungadzipitirire, kusiya chiyambi chabwino cha mibadwo yamtsogolo. Pali njira zosiyanasiyana zopangira moyo wanu kukhala watanthauzo kuposa nthawi yomwe mwapatsidwa. M'lingaliro lenileni lachilengedwe, kukhala ndi kulera ana ngati nzika zokangalika ndi njira imodzi yodziwonetsera nokha ngati munthu. Koma chifukwa cha chikhalidwe chathu chapadera, pali njira zina zosiya chizindikiro chabwino.
Ganizirani momwe mungathandizire mibadwo yamtsogolo. Ndi zochita, zochita, mutha kupanga moyo mdera lanu kukhala wauzimu komanso watanthauzo. Kodi ndinu okonzeka kuchita chiyani kuti muthandize anthu omwe ali ndi malingaliro osiyanasiyana kuti agwirizane pokwaniritsa cholinga chimodzi ndikugwirira ntchito limodzi kuti athandize anthu onse. Munthu, monga mukudziwa, ndi gulu limodzi.
Zimene takumana nazo zimasonyeza kuti timasangalala kwambiri ndi zinthu zimene zilibe ndalama. Phindu lalikulu ndilochokera ku chirichonse chomwe chikugwirizana ndi zotsatira zabwino kwa ena.
Chitsime: psychologytoday.com