Nthawi zambiri timasiyanitsa chikhumbo cha chitukuko chauzimu ndi chikhumbo chokonda chuma cha ntchito yabwino ndi ndalama zabwino. Koma sikoyenera kuchita izi, akuti Elizaveta Babanova, katswiri wa zamaganizo wamkazi ndi wolemba "To Zen mu Stiletto Heels".
Psychology: Elizabeti, zinali zovuta bwanji "kutuluka m'malo otonthoza" ndikugawana zamkati mwanu momasuka chotere?
Elizabeth Babanova: Ndine munthu womasuka, nkhani zanga zolakwa ndi archetypal. Pafupifupi mkazi aliyense amene atenga bukhu langa adzizindikira yekha mu imodzi mwa nkhani, ndipo mwina ambiri nthawi imodzi. Ziribe kanthu momwe zingamvekere zomvetsa chisoni, koma iyi ndi gawo la ntchito yanga - kufotokozera amayi kuti ali ndi ufulu wolakwitsa.
Posachedwapa, pamsonkhano wa amayi, anthu angapo adanena kuti amawopa kudziyang'ana mozama. Mukuganiza bwanji?
Mukakumana nokha, muyenera kuchitapo kanthu. Zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti ngati sitipita kumene kuli chinthu chatsopano, chosadziwika, ndiye kuti timakhala otetezeka. Ichi ndicho chinyengo chomwe, chifukwa chomwe sitikuwona zilakolako zathu zenizeni ndi zowawa, zomwe ziyenera kusinthidwa.
Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti mapulogalamu anu ndi bukhu lanu ndi njira yakukhwima yozindikira. Mukuganiza kuti nchiyani chimalepheretsa anthu kuphunzira pa zolakwa za ena?
Mothekera, kusowa kwa ulamuliro. M’madera amene ndinali ndi ulamuliro wotheratu, sindinalakwitsepo kwenikweni.
Ndinkayembekezera kuti pambuyo pa tchalitchi, pemphero, maphunziro, reiki, kupuma kwa holotropic, ndimvadi mayankho. Koma palibe chimene chinabwera
Kodi mungamufotokoze bwanji owerenga anu? Iye ndi chiyani?
Ndiyankha ndi mawu a m'mawu oyambilira: "Wowerenga bwino ndi mkazi ngati ine. Wofunitsitsa komanso wamoyo. Kudalira pa kudzipereka kwake komanso kulimba mtima. Panthawi imodzimodziyo, amakayikira nthawi zonse. Chifukwa chake, ndidalemba kwa munthu amene akufuna kukwaniritsa maloto akulu, kuthana ndi zovuta, kuwonetsa maluso awo ndikuchita zinazake zadziko lino, kukumana ndi chikondi chawo ndikupanga ubale wabwino.
Paulendo wanu, poyambira ndikunyamuka ku Russia kupita ku United States. Kumeneko munalandira maphunziro, munagwira ntchito ku bungwe lodziwika bwino lazachuma, munakwaniritsa zonse zomwe mumalakalaka. Koma panthawi ina panali maganizo osakhutira ndi chikhumbo cha kusintha. Chifukwa chiyani?
Ndinamva dzenje lakuda mkati. Ndipo sindikanatha kudzazidwa ndi moyo umene ndinkakhala, kugwira ntchito pakampani yoika ndalama.
Ngozi yomwe inachitika muli ndi zaka 27 - kodi ndizochitika zovuta zokha zomwe zingakakamize kusintha?
Sitisintha kawirikawiri chifukwa chofuna kukhala opambana. Nthawi zambiri, timayamba kukula ngati munthu, ngati mzimu, kapena timasintha matupi athu, chifukwa ndi "chotentha". Ndiye moyo umasonyeza kuti ife tiri pa khomo la kusinthika kwamphamvu. Zowona, zikuwoneka kwa ife kuti pambuyo pa kugwedezeka tidzamvetsetsa zonse nthawi yomweyo. Monga momwe Neil Donald Walsh adalembera bukhu la Kukambirana ndi Mulungu, ndikungolemba zomwe zidaperekedwa kwa iye kuchokera kumwamba, kotero ndimayembekezera kuti pambuyo pa tchalitchi, pemphero, maphunziro, reiki, kupuma kwa holotropic ndi zinthu zina, ndimamvadi mayankho. Koma palibe chimene chinabwera.
Ndi chiyani chinakulolani kuti mupitebe patsogolo ndikukhulupirira kuti zonse zikhala bwino?
Nditadziuza ndekha kuti ndinali ndi udindo wopanga zenizeni zanga, ndinalemba limodzi mwa malamulo atsopano. Ndinasiya kukhulupirira chinachake chomwe chiyenera kundichitikira, ndinangosankha - ndidzapeza njira yanga, m'tsogolomu mbuye wanga wauzimu, mwamuna wanga wokondedwa, bizinesi yanga yomwe ndimakonda kwambiri, anthu omwe ndidzawabweretsera phindu akundiyembekezera. Zonse zinachitika. Nthawi zonse ndimalimbikitsa kusakhulupirira, koma kusankha ndikuchita.
Zomwe zikuyenera kuchitika kuti mukwaniritse zauzimu komanso zakuthupi Kusamala?
Khalani ndi cholinga choterocho - kukhala ndi mapiko awiri. Ngati ndili ndi nyumba yapamwamba, Tesla ndi zinthu zodziwika bwino, koma sindikupeza mayankho a mafunso akuluakulu, ndiye kuti mbali yakuthupi sidzakhala yomveka. Kumbali inayi, pali kukondera mu moyo wauzimu, pamene muli "zamatsenga", koma panthawi imodzimodziyo simungathe kuthandiza okondedwa anu, dzisamalireni nokha. Ndalama ndi chida chofanana cha kuzindikira zauzimu, koma zonse zimatengera komwe mumazitumiza komanso ndi zolimbikitsa zotani.
Chonde tiuzeni kuti mlangizi adabwera bwanji pamoyo wanu?
Ndinadutsa zipembedzo zonse, masukulu onse a esoteric. Panali pempho lakuya kwambiri kuti iyi ikhale njira, yomveka, yomwe mbuye andiperekeze. Ndipo izo zinachitika tsiku lomwelo - m'buku ndinachitcha "jackpot yanga iwiri" - pamene ndinakumana ndi mwamuna wanga wamtsogolo ndi mbuye wanga.
Ndi zolakwika zotani zomwe akazi amalephera kupanga ubale, ngakhale atakumana, zingawonekere, munthu wawo wabwino.
Cholakwika choyamba ndikukhazikika pazochepa. Chachiwiri sikulankhula zokhumba zanu ndi mfundo zanu. Chachitatu si kuphunzira mnzanuyo. Musathamangire zosangalatsa mwamsanga: chikondi, kugonana, kukumbatirana. Zosangalatsa zazitali ndi maubwenzi odabwitsa omangidwa pa kulemekezana ndi chikhumbo chokondweretsa wina ndi mzake.
Ndipo kodi nthaŵi zambiri mumayankha chiyani pamene, mwachitsanzo, akakuuzani kuti: “Koma kulibe anthu abwino”?
Ndizowona. Pali zibwenzi zabwino kwa wina ndi mzake. Sindine wangwiro, koma mwamuna wanga akunena kuti ndine wangwiro chifukwa ndimamupatsa zomwe akufunikira. Iyenso ndi mnzanga wabwino kwambiri kwa ine, chifukwa amandithandiza kumasuka monga mkazi ndikukula monga munthu, ndipo amachita izi kuchokera mumkhalidwe wa chikondi ndi chisamaliro changa.
Chofunikira kwambiri kwa inu muubwenzi ndi chiyani?
Ngakhale zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti zinthu zina ndi zolakwika, zopanda chilungamo, mumagwira ntchitoyo, koma nthawi yomweyo simukuletsa kumverera kwa chikondi kwa mnzanuyo. Monga momwe mnzanga adanenera bwino, mkangano wabwino ndi womwe umatipangitsa kukhala bwino ngati banja. Titayamba kuona mikangano mwanjira imeneyi, tinasiya kuziopa.
Kumapeto kwa bukhuli, munafotokoza za chiyambi ndi zotsatira zake m’moyo. Kodi simunafufuze dala pamutuwu?
Inde, sindinkafuna kuti bukhuli lisinthe kukhala kalozera wa moyo wauzimu. Ndimagwira ntchito ndi Akhristu, Asilamu, Ayuda komanso Abuda. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kwa ine kuti ndisaphatikizidwe mu selo iliyonse, komanso kuti mfundo zake ndizomveka bwino. Tonse timafunikira chotengera chakukula kwauzimu. Koma chimene chiri, munthu aliyense ayenera kudzipangira yekha.
Chimodzi mwazofunikira zaumunthu ndikumverera kwachitetezo, mgwirizano, kukhala wapaketi.
Kodi Tony Robbins anakuphunzitsani chiyani?
Mkulu. Choyamba chiyenera kukhala chikondi, ndiye china chirichonse: chitukuko, chitetezo. Izi zikadali zovuta kwa ine, koma ndimayesetsa kukhala moyo wotere. Chifukwa chikondi n’chofunika kwambiri kuposa kuphunzitsa. Chofunika kwambiri kuposa kulondola.
Kodi phindu la bwalo la amayi ndi chiyani, amayi amapeza chiyani akamalankhulana mozama?
Chimodzi mwazofunikira zaumunthu ndikumverera kwachitetezo, mgwirizano, kukhala wa paketi. Nthawi zambiri akazi amalakwitsa chimodzi: amayesa kukwaniritsa zosowa zawo zonse kudzera mwa mwamuna. Zotsatira zake, mkazi amalandira zochepa nthawi zonse, kapena mwamuna amagwira ntchito mopitirira muyeso, kuyesera kumupatsa zonse zomwe akufunikira.
Ndipo ngati mwamuna anena kuti: “Koma ine ndine dzuŵa, sindingathe kuwalira mkazi mmodzi, pamene ndimakukondani kwambiri”?
Izi zikutanthauza kuti palibe gawo lauzimu mu maubwenzi amenewa. Izi zili choncho chifukwa palibe masomphenya opitirira msinkhu wakuthupi, palibe kumvetsetsa zauzimu, gawo lopatulika la ubale. Ndipo ngati mutsegula, sipadzakhalanso danga la lingaliro lotere. Tili ndi pulogalamu yotchedwa Conscious Relationships. Pa izi, tikugwira ntchito mozama pamutuwu.
Mwa njira, za kukhulupirika. Mu Ukwati Walamulo, Elizabeth Gilbert akufotokoza zomwe anakumana nazo za kukwatiranso. Asanachite zimenezi, iye ndi mwamuna wake wam’tsogolo anagwirizana pa mfundo zonse zimene zingabweretse kusagwirizana m’tsogolo.
Koma mukudziwa mmene zinathera.
Inde, kwa ine inali nthano yokongola kwambiri ...
Ndimakonda kwambiri Elizabeth Gilbert ndipo ndimatsatira moyo wake, posachedwapa ndinapita kukakumana naye ku Miami. Anali ndi mnzake wapamtima kwambiri amene anakhala naye pa ubwenzi kwa zaka 20. Ndipo pamene ananena kuti anali ndi matenda imfa, Elizabeth anazindikira kuti iye ankakonda moyo wake wonse, anasiya mwamuna wake ndi kuyamba kumusamalira. Kwa ine, ichi ndi chitsanzo cha kuphwanya kupatulika kwa mgwirizano. Ubale wathu ndi Anton umabwera koyamba, chifukwa ndiwo machitidwe athu auzimu. Kupereka ubale ndi kusakhulupirika chilichonse. Kumatanthauza kupereka mphunzitsi, njira yauzimu ya munthu. Sikuti amangosangalala ayi. Zonse ndi zozama kwambiri.
Panopa mukupanga buku latsopano, ndi chiyani?
Ndikulemba buku, Chaka Chabwino Kwambiri cha Moyo Wanga, komwe ndimasonyeza akazi momwe ndikukhala chaka. mawonekedwe a diary. Padzakhalanso mitu yambiri yomwe idakhudzidwa m'buku la "To Zen in Stilettos". Mwachitsanzo, mutu wa kudzikonda, maubwenzi pakati pa makolo ndi ana, maphunziro a zachuma.
Kodi zosakaniza zanu za tsiku labwino ndi ziti?
Kudzuka m'mawa komanso kudzaza m'mawa. Zakudya zokoma ndi zathanzi zokonzedwa ndi chikondi. Ntchito yokondedwa, kulankhulana kwapamwamba. Tchuthi ndi mwamuna wanga. Ndipo chofunika kwambiri - ubale wabwino ndi banja.
Kodi mungatanthauze bwanji cholinga chanu?
Khalani kuwala kwa inu nokha ndi anthu ena, perekani izo. Tikakhala ndi kuwala kwamkati, kumadzaza pang'onopang'ono mbali zamdima za moyo. Ndikuganiza kuti iyi ndi ntchito ya munthu aliyense - kupeza kuwala mkati mwawo ndikuwunikira anthu ena. Kupyolera mu ntchito yomwe imabweretsa chisangalalo. Mwachitsanzo, mphunzitsi amabweretsa kuwala kwa ophunzira, dokotala kwa odwala, wosewera kwa owonera.
Choyamba, muyenera kuyamba kudziwunikira nokha. Ndikofunikira kudzazidwa ndi mayiko oyenera: chisangalalo, chikondi
Posachedwa ndawerenga buku la Irina Khakamada "The Tao of Life". Iye anafotokoza mphunzitsi kumeneko monga kudzoza ndipo anapereka chitsanzo oseketsa: kusanthula mantha njinga, katswiri wa zamaganizo kukumba ubwana, ndipo mphunzitsi adzafika pa njinga ndi kufunsa kuti: "Tikupita kuti?" Ndi zida ziti zomwe mumakonda kugwiritsa ntchito pogwira ntchito ndi amayi?
Ndili ndi chifuwa chachikulu cha zida. Izi ndi zonse zamaphunziro akale komanso chidziwitso kuchokera kumaphunziro osiyanasiyana a nyenyezi zapadziko lonse lapansi pakuphunzitsa. Nthawi zonse ndimayika ntchitoyo - tikupita kuti, tikufuna chiyani? Irina akupereka chitsanzo chabwino. Komabe, ngati chidacho chili cholakwika, mwachitsanzo, psyche yathyoledwa kapena thupi liri lopanda thanzi, ndiye kuti mphamvu sizimazungulira mmenemo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri kusweka koteroko kumakhala chifukwa cha ubwana wosathetsedwa komanso zovuta zaunyamata. Izi ziyenera kuchotsedwa, kutsukidwa - kusonkhanitsanso njinga, ndiyeno kunena kuti: "Chabwino, zonse zakonzeka, tiyeni tipite!"
Kodi mkazi angapeze bwanji cholinga chake?
Choyamba, muyenera kuyamba kudziwunikira nokha. Ndikofunikira kudzazidwa ndi mayiko oyenera: chisangalalo, chikondi. Ndipo chifukwa cha izi muyenera kukhala chete, kumasuka, kusiya kugwira. Panthawi imodzimodziyo kukulitsa luso lanu ndikumasula kukangana kumapangitsa dziko lapansi kukuchitirani mosiyana.
Kodi alipo akazi amene amaoneka kuti anabadwa ndi khalidwe limeneli ndipo safunika kulikulitsa?
Azimayi oterowo, opatsidwa ngati kuti anabadwa ndi kuwala kumeneku, alikodi, ndipo ali m’malo athu. Koma kwenikweni, nawonso amayenera kudzipangira okha, kungoti ntchitoyi imachitika mkati ndipo siyimawonetsedwa. Ndimawasirirabe mayi anga. Moyo wanga wonse ndakhala ndikuziwona ndikuziphunzira ngati chiwonetsero chodabwitsa. Muli chikondi chochuluka mwa iye, chochuluka cha kuwala kwamkati uku. Ngakhale pamene adzipeza ali m'mikhalidwe yosamvetsetseka, anthu amamuthandiza, chifukwa iyeyo amathandiza ena moyo wake wonse. Zikuwoneka kwa ine kuti chikhalidwe chotere cha mgwirizano wamkati ndicho chuma chachikulu chachikazi.