Zamkatimu
Katswiri wamabanja komanso wolemba wogulitsidwa kwambiri wa Captive Breeding, Esther Perel, yemwe wapereka uphungu kwa maanja kwa zaka zambiri, wafika potsimikiza kuti kulephera kwathu m'chikondi kumachitika chifukwa cha malingaliro osagonja. Amalankhula za malingaliro olakwika omwe amalepheretsa kuti chikondi chenicheni chisapezeke.
1. Okwatirana okondana amauzana zoona nthawi zonse.
Kodi ndi bwino kuuza wokondedwa wanu kuti ali ndi mapaundi owonjezera ndi makwinya? Kapena kuchititsa manyazi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi kuulula za chibwenzi chakale? Kuona mtima kungakhale nkhanza kwambiri, ndipo kudziwa zinthu kungapweteke.
Ndikupangira kuti makasitomala asawuze abwenzi awo zinthu zomwe sangathe kuzigaya mwachangu ndikuyiwala. Musanafotokoze zotulukapo zonse, yang'anani kuwonongeka kwa mawu anu. Kuonjezera apo, kumasuka kwakukulu kumachepetsa kukopana kwathu ndipo kumapanga "abale apamtima" odziwika bwino.
2. Mavuto okhudzana ndi kugonana amasonyeza kuti pali mavuto pa ubale.
Nthawi zambiri amavomereza kuti maanja omwe ali ndi thanzi labwino amakhala ndi moyo wogonana, ndipo kusowa kwa kugonana kumayendera limodzi ndi kuchepa kwa gawo la malingaliro. Sizikhala choncho nthawi zonse.
Chikondi ndi chikhumbo zitha kukhala zogwirizana, koma zimathanso kusemphana kapena kukulirakulira limodzi, ndipo ichi ndiye chododometsa cha kukopeka. Anthu awiri amatha kukhala okondana kwambiri kunja kwa chipinda chogona, koma moyo wawo wogonana ukhoza kukhala wopanda pake kapena kulibe.
3. Chikondi ndi chilakolako zimayendera limodzi
Kwa zaka mazana ambiri, kugonana muukwati kunkaonedwa ngati "ntchito ya m'banja." Tsopano timakwatirana chifukwa cha chikondi ndipo pambuyo paukwati tikuyembekezera kuti chilakolako ndi kukopa sizidzatisiya kwa zaka zambiri. Okwatirana amakulitsa chikondi chapamtima, kuyembekezera kuti moyo wawo wogonana ukhale wowala.
Kwa anthu ena, izi ndi zoona. Chitetezo, chidaliro, chitonthozo, kusasunthika kumalimbikitsa kukopa kwawo. Koma kwa zinthu zambiri ndi zosiyana. Kugwirizana kwapamtima kumapha chilakolako: kumadzutsidwa ndi chidziwitso, kuzindikira, kuwoloka mlatho wosawoneka.
Kuyanjanitsa kwa eroticism ndi moyo watsiku ndi tsiku si vuto lomwe tiyenera kuthana nalo, ndizovuta zomwe ziyenera kuvomerezedwa. Luso ndi kuphunzira kukhala «kutali ndi pafupi» mu ukwati pa nthawi yomweyo. Izi zitha kutheka popanga malo anu enieni (luntha, thupi, malingaliro) - dimba lanu lachinsinsi, momwe palibe amene amalowamo.
4. Kugonana kwa amuna ndi akazi kumasiyana mwachibadwa.
Ambiri amakhulupirira kuti kugonana kwa amuna ndikwachikale komanso kumatsimikiziridwa ndi chibadwa kuposa malingaliro, ndipo chilakolako cha akazi chimasinthika ndipo chimafuna mikhalidwe yapadera.
Kunena zoona, kugonana kwa amuna kumakhudzanso maganizo mofanana ndi kugonana kwa akazi. Kukhumudwa, nkhawa, mkwiyo, kapenanso, kumverera kwa chikondi kumakhudza kwambiri chilakolako cha kugonana. Inde, amuna amatha kugwiritsa ntchito kugonana ngati njira yoletsa kupsinjika maganizo komanso kuwongolera maganizo. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, amadera nkhawa kwambiri za kuthekera kwawo komanso kuopa kusakondweretsa wokondedwa wawo.
Musaganize za amuna ngati biorobots: iwo ali okhudzidwa ndi momwe inu muliri.
5. Mgwirizano woyenera umachokera pa kufanana
M’maukwati osangalala, anthu amathandizana, ndipo samamenyera ufulu wofanana ndi mwayi. Amakweza makhalidwe apadera a anzawo popanda kuyesa kutsimikizira kuti ndi apamwamba kuposa iwo.
Tikukhala m’nthawi yodzidzudzula ndipo timathera nthawi yochuluka podzikuza ndikuyang’ana kupanda ungwiro mwa anthu ndi maubale. Koma kaamba ka ubwino wathu, nkoyenera kuphunzira kudzudzula mochepera ndi kuyamikira kwambiri zimene tili nazo—ife tokha, miyoyo yathu, okondedwa athu ndi ukwati wathu.