N’zovuta kukhulupirira, koma anthu achikulire amakhala osangalala. Victor Kagan, katswiri wa zamaganizo, dokotala wa sayansi ya zamankhwala, yemwe amagwira ntchito kwambiri ndi okalamba ndi okalamba kwambiri, adagawana nafe malingaliro ake pankhaniyi.
“Ndikadzakalamba monga iwe, sindidzafunikiranso kanthu,” mwana wanga anandiuza motero pamene anali ndi zaka 15 ndipo ine ndinali ndi zaka 35. Mawu amodzimodziwo anganenedwe ndi mwana wazaka 70 zakubadwa kwa wazaka 95. bambo wazaka zakubadwa. Komabe, pazaka 95 ndi 75, anthu amafunikira zofanana ndi zaka 35. Nthaŵi ina, wodwala wazaka 96 zakubadwa ananena mochita manyazi pang’ono kuti: “Mudziŵa, dokotala, moyo sukalamba.”
Funso lalikulu, ndithudi, ndi momwe timawonera anthu okalamba. 30-40 zaka zapitazo, pamene munthu anapuma, iye zichotsedwa moyo. Anakhala mtolo umene palibe amene ankadziwa chochita, ndipo iye mwini sankadziwa chochita ndi iyemwini. Ndipo zinkawoneka kuti pa msinkhu umenewo palibe amene ankafunikira kalikonse. Koma kunena zoona, ukalamba ndi nthawi yosangalatsa kwambiri. Wodala. Pali maphunziro ambiri omwe amatsimikizira kuti anthu azaka za m'ma 60 ndi 90 amakhala osangalala kuposa achinyamata. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Carl Whitaker, wazaka zake za m’ma 70, anati: “Msinkhu wapakati ndi mpikisano wotopetsa wotopetsa, ukalamba ndi chisangalalo cha mavinidwe abwino: mawondo angapindike moipitsitsa, koma liŵiro ndi kukongola kwake nkwachibadwa ndi kosaumirizidwa.” N’zachidziŵikire kuti anthu achikulire amakhala ndi ziyembekezo zocheperapo, ndipo palinso kumverera kwaufulu: tilibe ngongole kwa aliyense ndipo sitiwopa kalikonse. Ndinayamikira ndekha. Ndinapuma pantchito (ndipo ndikupitirizabe kugwira ntchito, monga ndinagwira ntchito - zambiri), koma ndimalandira mphoto ya chitonthozo cha msinkhu wanga. Simungakhale ndi ndalama izi, mutha kupulumuka nazo, koma nditapeza kwa nthawi yoyamba, ndidakhala ndi chidwi chodabwitsa - tsopano nditha kukwanitsa chilichonse. Moyo wakhala wosiyana - womasuka, wosavuta. Kukalamba nthawi zambiri kumakupatsani mwayi wodzisamalira nokha, kuchita zomwe mukufuna komanso zomwe manja anu sanafikirepo, ndikuyamikira mphindi iliyonse yotere - palibe nthawi yochuluka.
Werengani zambiri:
- “Ukalamba ukhoza kukhala nthaŵi yosangalatsa kwambiri m’moyo wathu”
mbuna
Chinanso n’chakuti ukalamba uli ndi mavuto akeake. Ndimakumbukira ubwana wanga - inali nthawi ya kubadwa, ndipo tsopano ndikukhala mu nthawi ya maliro - kutayika, kutaya, kutaya. Ndizovuta kwambiri ngakhale ndi chitetezo changa cha akatswiri. Muukalamba, vuto la kusungulumwa, kudzifunira nokha likumveka ngati kale ... Ziribe kanthu momwe makolo ndi ana amakondera wina ndi mzake, okalamba ali ndi mafunso awoawo: momwe angagulire malo kumanda, momwe angakonzekere maliro, momwe angafera ... Zimapweteka ana kumvetsera izi, amadziikira kumbuyo: "Tasiyani amayi, mudzakhala ndi zaka zana limodzi!" Palibe amene amafuna kumva za imfa. Nthawi zambiri ndimamva kuchokera kwa odwala kuti: "Ndi inu nokha omwe ndingalankhule za izi, popanda wina aliyense." Timakambirana za imfa modekha, nthabwala za iyo, kukonzekera.
Vuto lina la ukalamba ndi ntchito, kulankhulana. Ndinagwira ntchito kwambiri m'malo ochezera anthu okalamba (ku USA. - Zolemba za Mkonzi) ndipo ndinawona anthu omwe ndinakumana nawo kale. Ndiye iwo analibe poti adziyike okha, ndipo anakhala kunyumba tsiku lonse, odwala, theka kuzimitsidwa, ndi mulu wa zizindikiro ... pakati tsiku linaonekera, ndipo iwo anakhala osiyana kotheratu: iwo kukokedwa kumeneko, iwo akhoza kuchita chinachake kumeneko. , wina amawafuna kumeneko , akhoza kulankhula ndi kukangana wina ndi mzake - ndipo uwu ndi moyo! Iwo ankaona kuti akufunikira okha, wina ndi mzake, ali ndi zolinga ndi zodetsa nkhawa za mawa, ndipo n'zosavuta - muyenera kuvala, simukuyenera kuvala chovala ... Momwe munthu amakhalira gawo lake lomaliza ndilofunika kwambiri zofunika. Ndi ukalamba wamtundu wanji - wopanda chithandizo kapena wokangalika? Ndimakumbukira malingaliro anga amphamvu kwambiri kuchokera kunja, ku Hungary mu 1988 - ana ndi okalamba. Ana omwe palibe amene amawakoka pamanja ndipo samawopseza kupereka kwa wapolisi. Ndipo anthu okalamba - okonzeka bwino, aukhondo, atakhala mu cafe ... Chithunzi ichi chinali chosiyana kwambiri ndi zomwe ndinawona ku Russia ...
Age ndi psychotherapy
Katswiri wa zamaganizo amatha kukhala njira ya moyo wokangalika kwa munthu wokalamba. Mukhoza kulankhula za chirichonse ndi iye, kuwonjezera, iye amathandizanso. Mmodzi mwa odwala anga anali ndi zaka 86 ndipo ankavutika kuyenda. Kuti ndimuthandize kupita ku ofesi yanga, ndinamuyitana, tili m’njira tinacheza zinazake, kenako ndinagwira ntchito, ndipo ndinamuthamangitsa kunyumba. Ndipo chinali chochitika chonse m'moyo wake. Ndikukumbukira wodwala wanga wina, yemwe anali ndi matenda a Parkinson. Zikuwoneka, kodi psychotherapy ikugwirizana ndi chiyani? Titakumana naye, sanathe kudzuka yekha pampando, sanathe kuvala jekete, mothandizidwa ndi mwamuna wake iye mwanjira ina adatsika pabenchi. Anali asanakhalepo kulikonse, nthawi zina ana ankamunyamula m’manja mwawo kupita naye ku galimoto n’kupita naye… , chinali chipambano. Tinayenda maulendo 2-3 ndikuchita chithandizo panjira. Ndiyeno iye ndi mwamuna wake anapita ku dziko lakwawo, ku Odessa, ndipo, pobwerera, ananena kuti kwa nthawi yoyamba mu moyo wake anayesa ... mowa wamphamvu kumeneko. Ndinkazizira, ndinkafuna kutenthetsa: "Sindinaganizepo kuti zinali zabwino."
Ngakhale anthu odwala kwambiri ali ndi kuthekera kwakukulu, mzimu ukhoza kuchita zambiri. Psychotherapy pa msinkhu uliwonse amathandiza munthu kupirira moyo. Musachigonjetse, musachisinthe, koma limbanani ndi zomwe zili. Ndipo muli chilichonse m'menemo - matope, litsiro, zowawa, zinthu zokongola ... Titha kudzipezera tokha kuthekera kosayang'ana zonsezi kumbali imodzi yokha. Ichi si "kanyumba, kanyumba, kuima kumbuyo kwa nkhalango, koma kwa ine kutsogolo." Mu psychotherapy, munthu amasankha ndikupeza kulimba mtima kuti aziwona mosiyanasiyana. Simungathe kumwanso moyo, monga muunyamata wanu, ndi magalasi - ndipo sichimakoka. Kumwa pang'onopang'ono, kumva kukoma kwa aliyense sip.