Titha kukambirana ndi ana za kugonana popanda zonyansa
Makolo: Ndi zaka zingati zomwe mungafune kukambirana nkhaniyi?
Sandra Franrenet: Mafunso a ana aang'ono okhudza kugonana amabwera ali ndi zaka 3, amakhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi thupi lawo komanso la amuna kapena akazi anzawo. Nthawi zambiri amayesa kuona makolo awo ali maliseche, kuti amvetse kusiyana kwake… Koma izi zingabwere pambuyo pake, palibe lamulo, zonse zimadalira mwanayo. Masiku ano makolo amafunitsitsa kugwira ntchito yawo bwino, amaona kuti “amayang’anira ntchito ya maphunziro” ndipo nthawi zambiri amakhala ofunitsitsa kukamba chilichonse. Sitiyenera kukhala olimbikira! Chinthu chachikulu si kuyembekezera mafunso, kuwalola abwere, kulemekeza chitukuko ndi temporality munthu wa mwana wanu. Ngati tilankhula za izi pamene mwanayo sakupempha kapena wokonzeka kumva zambiri zamtunduwu, pali chiopsezo chopanga mantha omwe angakhale opweteka. Pamene wamng'ono akufunsa "Kodi kupanga chikondi ndi chiyani?" », Timamupatsa yankho koma osalowa mwatsatanetsatane. Tinganene mwachitsanzo: izi ndi zimene achikulire amachita chifukwa chakuti amakondana, chifukwa zimawasangalatsa ndi kufuna kutero. Ngati kugonana sikuyenera kukhala koletsedwa, tiyenera kukhala osamala chifukwa ndichinsinsi chathu, timapereka mayankho, koma sitinena chilichonse.
Mukuumirira kufunikira kopanga mkhalidwe wodalirana, chifukwa chiyani?
SF : Ana amakonda kudziŵa mwachibadwa ndipo chilakolako chofuna kudziŵa zakugonana n’chachibadwa, koma kuti wamng’ono athe kufotokoza maganizo ake mwachisawawa, ayenera kuona kuti m’nkhani za m’banja lake zimaloledwa pa nkhani zonse zokhudza iyeyo, kuphatikizapo kugonana. . Pamene akunena chinachake, mwachitsanzo kuti mnzake Leo adawonetsa chithunzi cha dona wamaliseche panthawi yopuma komanso kuti akumva manyazi, adzamvetsetsa kuti mafunso okhudzana ndi kugonana, "pa matako", amaletsedwa. . Chilichonse chimene angakufunseni, ayenera kuganiza kuti palibe cholakwika ndi inu. Kupezeka kwa kugonana, kumachitidwa kusukulu ndi ana ena, ndi abale ndi alongo akuluakulu omwe amanena zinthu "zonyansa", poyang'ana zikwangwani mumsewu ndi malonda ena otentha kwambiri pawailesi yakanema, kupyolera mu nthano ndi zojambulajambula. "Mwana wanga wamkazi wazaka 5 adandifunsa tsiku lina chifukwa chomwe Khungu la Bulu lidathawira. Ndinamuuza kuti akuthawa chifukwa sakufuna kukwatiwa ndi abambo ake. Mwana wanga wamkazi, wodabwa kwambiri, anawonjezera kuti: “Ndidzakwatiwa ndi atate pambuyo pake, tidzakhala tonse atatu pamodzi!” Byampeelenga bukomo bwa kulonga nandi pa Edipito ne kuningisha kulama kipwano kyandi.
Momwe mungapezere mawu oyenera kwa mwana?
SF : Kulankhula za kugonana kwa ang'onoang'ono sikutanthauza kulankhula za kugonana kwa akuluakulu mwachisawawa. Safuna mawu aluso kapena maphunziro a zachiwerewere. Titha kuwafotokozera kuti okonda amagawana chikondi, kupsompsona, kukumbatirana ndi chisangalalo. Akamafunsa kuti, “Kodi timapanga bwanji ana? Safuna zambiri pa kapangidwe. Kuwauza kuti mbewu yaing'ono ya adadi ndi mbewu ya amayi zimabwera palimodzi kuti zipange mwana, ndipo mwanayo adzakula m'mimba mwa amayi mpaka atabadwa mokwanira. Chomwe chimakondweretsa mwanayo ndicho kudziwa kuti iye ndi chipatso cha chikondi cha makolo ake, kuti anakumana ndi kukondana ndipo iyi ndi nkhani yake.
Kodi tingagwiritse ntchito mawu ngati zizi, zézette, foufoune, kiki?
SF: Titha kugwiritsa ntchito mawu ngati mbalame yaying'ono, mbolo, tambala… kufotokoza za kugonana kwa mwamuna ndi zézette, duwa, zigounette kusonyeza kugonana kwa mkazi. Koma m’pofunika kuti mwanayo adziwenso mawu akuti mbolo, machende, maliseche, ndi tanthauzo lake lenileni. Matako alibe chochita ndi maliseche, choncho mawuwa ayenera kugwiritsidwa ntchito mwanzeru.
Bwanji ngati afunsa mawu ngati "zolaula" kapena "fellatio"?
Ana a SF Toddlers nthawi zina amabweretsa kuchokera kunja mawu omwe sanalembedwe kwa iwo. Chinthu choyamba kuchita ndi kupeza tanthauzo la mawuwo, kuwafunsa tanthauzo lake. Kuyambira pa chidziwitso chake sikumangomulola kuti asanene zambiri kuposa zomwe akufuna kudziwa, komanso kupereka mayankho ogwirizana ndi msinkhu wake. Mwachiwonekere sitidzamupatsa zambiri zaukadaulo pa kugonana mkamwa. Muyenera kungomuuza kuti izi ndi zinthu zomwe anthu akuluakulu amachita akamamva bwino popanda kufotokoza kuti ndi chiyani. Mukhozanso kumuuza kuti mudzakambirananso pambuyo pake akadzakula.
Nanga bwanji ngati aona mosadziŵa zithunzi za pa Intaneti?
SF Aliyense akudziwa za misadventures ya ana amene dinani zithunzi za "kabudula kakang'ono" ndi kutera pa zolaula malo, kapena poyera zolaula DVD chimakwirira pa newsagents kuti musawaike pamwamba. Chinthu choyamba chimene mungachite ndi kutsimikizira mwana amene wadabwa ndi zimene waonazo kuti: “Ukuona kuti n’zonyansa, usade nkhawa, n’zachibadwa kuti udabwe, Si vuto lako. Izi ndi machitidwe omwe akuluakulu ena amachita, koma osati akuluakulu onse. Sitiyenera kutero! Ukakhala wamkulu, udzachita zomwe ukufuna, osadandaula, si udindo. “
Kodi mungamuchenjeze bwanji wamng'ono motsutsana ndi ma pedophiles?
SF : Chenjezo lopewa ngozi ndilabwino, koma tikuchita “kuwala” kupewa. Makolo amene amalankhula zambiri za izo amapatsira nkhawa zawo kwa mwana wawo, iwo amatsitsa nkhawa zawo pa iye. Ngati adzitsimikizira okha, sathandiza mwana wawo, m'malo mwake. Machenjezo akale, monga akuti “Simukulankhula ndi munthu wamkulu amene simukumudziwa!” Tikakupatsirani maswiti, simutenga! Tikafika kwa inu, ndiuzeni nthawi yomweyo! Zokwanira. Masiku ano pali kukayikira kwakukulu kwa akuluakulu, tiyenera kukhala tcheru, koma osagwa mu paranoia. Njira yabwino yopewera mavuto ndiyo kulimbikitsa mwana wanu kuti akuuzeni zimene zikuchitika mobwerezabwereza, molimba mtima.
Kodi pali uthenga wofunikira woti upereke kwa makanda?
SF : Malingaliro anga, ndikofunika kuphunzitsa mwana wanu mwamsanga kuti thupi lake ndi lake, kuti palibe amene ali ndi ufulu wokhudza, kupatulapo iye yekha ndi makolo ake. Muyenera kumuphunzitsa kuti asunge zinsinsi zake, kumulimbikitsa kuti azisamba msanga, komanso kumupempha chilolezo kuti ajambule chithunzi chake ndikuyika chithunzi chake pakhoma lanu la Facebook, mwachitsanzo.
Ngati aphatikiza achichepere kwambiri kuti chifaniziro chake monga thupi lake ndi chake, kuti palibe amene angachitaya popanda mgwirizano wake, adzadziwa kudzilemekeza yekha ndi winayo. Izi zidzakhudzanso njira yake yokhalira ndi kugonana muunyamata ndi uchikulire. Ndipo iye sadzakhala wocheperako pambuyo pake kukhala wozunzidwa ndi cyber-stalker.