“Palibe zolephera. Pali zokumana nazo zokha,” akutero Robert Allen, katswiri wotsogola pazamalonda, zachuma, ndi zolimbikitsa komanso wolemba mabuku angapo ogulitsidwa kwambiri.
Mukaphunzira kuyang'ana zolephera kuchokera kumbali yoyenera, adzakhala mphunzitsi wabwino kwambiri kwa inu. Ganizilani izi: kulephera kumatipatsa mwayi wogwedeza zinthu ndikuyang'ana pozungulira kuti tipeze mayankho atsopano.
Katswiri wa zamaganizo wa ku Canada ndi ku America Albert Bandura anachita kafukufuku amene anasonyeza mmene maganizo athu pa kulephera amachitira mbali yaikulu. Phunziroli, magulu awiri a anthu adafunsidwa kuti agwire ntchito yofanana yoyang'anira. Gulu loyamba linauzidwa kuti cholinga cha ntchitoyi chinali kuyesa luso lawo loyang'anira. Gulu lina linauzidwa kuti pamafunika luso lapamwamba kwambiri kuti amalize ntchitoyi, choncho unali mwayi chabe kuti iwo ayesetse ndi kuwongolera luso lawo. Chinyengo chinali chakuti ntchito yomwe idafunsidwa poyamba inali yovuta ndipo onse omwe adatenga nawo mbali adalephera - zomwe zidachitika. Pamene magulu adafunsidwa kuti ayesenso ntchitoyi, omwe anali m'gulu loyamba sanasinthe kwambiri, chifukwa ankaona ngati olephera chifukwa chakuti luso lawo silinali lokwanira. Gulu lachiwiri, komabe, lomwe linawona kulephera ngati mwayi wophunzira, linatha kumaliza ntchitoyi ndi kupambana kwakukulu kuposa nthawi yoyamba. Gulu lachiwiri linadziyesa kuti ndi lodzidalira kwambiri kuposa loyamba.
Monga otenga nawo mbali mu phunziro la Bandura, tikhoza kuyang'ana zolephera zathu mosiyana: monga chithunzi cha luso lathu kapena mwayi wa kukula. Nthawi ina mukadzayamba kudzimvera chisoni, zomwe nthawi zambiri zimatsagana ndi kulephera, yesani kuwongolera momwe mukumvera. Maphunziro abwino kwambiri m'moyo nthawi zambiri amakhala ovuta kwambiri - amatsutsa luso lathu lotha kuzolowera komanso kufunitsitsa kwathu kuphunzira.
Chinthu choyamba nthawi zonse chimakhala chovuta kwambiri. Mukadziikira cholinga china chachikulu, sitepe yoyamba yochikwaniritsa idzaoneka ngati yovuta komanso yochititsa mantha. Koma mukayerekeza kutenga sitepe yoyambayo, nkhawa ndi mantha zimathera zokha. Anthu omwe amayesetsa kuti akwaniritse zolinga zawo sakhala amphamvu komanso odalirika kuposa omwe ali nawo pafupi - amangodziwa kuti zotsatira zake zidzakhala zopindulitsa. Amadziŵa kuti nthaŵi zonse zimakhala zovuta poyamba ndipo kuti kuchedwa kumangowonjezera kuvutika kosafunikira.
Zinthu zabwino sizichitika nthawi imodzi, ndipo kuti munthu achite bwino kumafuna nthawi komanso khama. Malinga ndi mtolankhani wa ku Canada komanso katswiri wa zachikhalidwe cha anthu, Malcolm Gladwell, kuti munthu adziwe chilichonse kumafuna maola 10000 a chisamaliro chosatha! Ndipo anthu ambiri amene zinthu zikuwayendera bwino amavomereza zimenezi. Ganizilani za Henry Ford: asanakhazikitse Ford ali ndi zaka 45, maulendo ake awiri a galimoto analephera. Ndipo wolemba Harry Bernstein, amene anapereka moyo wake wonse pa chizolowezi wake, analemba bestseller wake ali ndi zaka 96! Mukamaliza kuchita bwino, mumazindikira kuti njira yopitako inali gawo labwino kwambiri.
Ndikofunika kumvetsetsa kuti kukhala wotanganidwa sikutanthauza kukhala waphindu. Yang'anani anthu omwe akuzungulirani: onse amawoneka otanganidwa kwambiri, akuthamanga kuchokera ku msonkhano umodzi kupita ku wina, kutumiza maimelo tsiku lonse. Koma ndi angati a iwo amene zinthu zikuwayenderadi bwino? Chinsinsi cha kupambana sikuyenda kokha ndi ntchito, koma makamaka kuganizira zolinga ndi kugwiritsa ntchito bwino nthawi. Anthu onse amapatsidwa maola 24 ofanana pa tsiku, choncho gwiritsani ntchito nthawiyi mwanzeru. Onetsetsani kuti zoyesayesa zanu zikuyang'ana pa ntchito zomwe zingapindule.
Sizingatheke kukwaniritsa mlingo woyenera wa kudzikonza ndi kudziletsa. Monga momwe timafunira, koma nthawi zambiri pamakhala zopinga zamitundu yonse komanso zovuta m'njira. Komabe, n’zotheka kulamulira mmene mumachitira ndi zinthu zimene zimachitika popanda inuyo. Ndi zomwe mumachita ndi zomwe zimasintha cholakwikacho kukhala chofunikira. Monga akunena, simungathe kupambana nkhondo iliyonse, koma ndi njira yoyenera, mukhoza kupambana nkhondoyo.
Simuli oyipa kuposa anthu ozungulira inu. Yesetsani kudzizungulira ndi anthu omwe amakulimbikitsani, omwe amakupangitsani kufuna kukhala bwino. Mwina mukuchita kale izi - koma bwanji za anthu omwe amakukokerani pansi? Kodi alipo ena akuzungulirani, ndipo ngati ndi choncho, n’chifukwa chiyani mumawalola kukhala mbali ya moyo wanu? Aliyense amene amakupangitsani kumva kuti ndinu wosafunidwa, wankhawa, kapena wosakhutira akungotaya nthawi yanu ndipo mwina kukulepheretsani kupita patsogolo. Koma moyo ndi waufupi kwambiri kuti ungawononge nthawi pa anthu otere. Choncho, asiyeni.
Zopinga zazikulu kwambiri zomwe zingatheke zili m'mutu mwanu. Pafupifupi mavuto athu onse amayamba chifukwa chakuti timayendayenda nthawi zonse ndi maganizo athu: timabwerera ku zakale ndikunong'oneza bondo zomwe tinachita, kapena timayesa kuyang'ana zam'tsogolo ndikudandaula za zochitika zomwe sizinachitike. N’zosavuta kuti tisocheretsedwe n’kumanong’oneza bondo za m’mbuyo kapena kudera nkhawa za m’tsogolo, ndipo zimenezi zikachitika, timaiwala zimene tingathe kuzilamulira ndi panopa.
Kudzidalira kwanu kuyenera kuchokera mwa inu. Mukapeza chisangalalo ndi chikhutiro podzifananiza ndi ena, simulinso mbuye wa tsogolo lanu. Ngati muli okondwa ndi inu nokha, musalole malingaliro a munthu wina ndi zomwe akwaniritsa kuti zikuchotsereni malingaliro amenewo kwa inu. Inde, ndizovuta kusiya kuchita zomwe ena amakuganizirani, koma musayese kudzifananiza ndi ena, ndikuyesera kuzindikira malingaliro a chipani chachitatu ndi njere yamchere. Izi zidzakuthandizani kudziyesa nokha ndi mphamvu zanu.
Sikuti onse akuzungulirani angakuthandizeni. Ndipotu anthu ambiri sangatero. M'malo mwake, ena amataya kusasamala, kukwiya, mkwiyo kapena nsanje pa inu. Koma zonsezi siziyenera kukhala chopinga kwa inu, chifukwa, monga momwe Dr. Seuss, wolemba ndi wojambula zithunzi wotchuka wa ku Amereka ananena kuti: “Ofunika sangawatsutse, ndipo otsutsa alibe kanthu.” Sizingatheke kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kwa aliyense, ndipo palibe chifukwa chotaya nthawi ndi mphamvu zanu kuyesa kuvomerezedwa ndi anthu omwe ali ndi chinachake chotsutsana nanu.
Ungwiro kulibe. Musanyengedwe kupanga ungwiro kukhala cholinga chanu, chifukwa n'zosatheka kukwaniritsa. Mwachibadwa anthu amalakwitsa zinthu. Pamene ungwiro uli cholinga chanu, nthawi zonse mumakhudzidwa ndi malingaliro osasangalatsa a kulephera komwe kumakupangitsani kugonja ndikuchita zochepa. Mumataya nthawi kudandaula ndi zomwe mudalephera kuchita m'malo mopita patsogolo ndikusangalala ndi zomwe mwapeza komanso zomwe mungakwaniritse mtsogolo.
Mantha amabweretsa chisoni. Ndikhulupirireni: mudzadandaula kwambiri za mwayi wophonya kusiyana ndi zolakwa zomwe munapanga. Osachita mantha kutenga zoopsa! Nthawi zambiri mumamva anthu akunena kuti: “N’chiyani choopsa kwambiri chimene chingachitike? Sizingakuphani!” Imfa yokhayo, ngati mukuyiganizira, siimakhala yoyipa kwambiri nthawi zonse. Nkoopsa kwambiri kudzilola kuti ufere mkati uli ndi moyo.
Kufotokozera mwachidule…
Tinganene kuti anthu ochita bwino sasiya kuphunzira. Amaphunzira pa zolakwa zawo, amaphunzirapo kanthu pa zimene apambana, ndipo nthawi zonse amasintha n’kukhala abwino.
Ndiye, ndi phunziro lovuta lanji lomwe lakuthandizani kuti muchite bwino lero?