Sindimakonda mphatso

“Mphatso zimandidetsa nkhawa,” akutero Maria, wazaka 47, wokongoletsa. Ndimakonda kuwapanga, koma osawapeza. Zodabwitsa zimandichititsa mantha, malingaliro a anthu ena amandisokoneza, ndipo zonsezi zimandisokoneza. Makamaka pamene pali mphatso zambiri. Sindikudziwa momwe ndingayankhire."

Mwina tanthauzo lalikulu layikidwa mu mphatso. “Nthaŵi zonse amanyamula mauthenga ena, akudziwa kapena ayi,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Sylvie Tenenbaum, “ndipo mauthenga ameneŵa angatikhumudwitse. Pali matanthauzo osachepera atatu apa: “kupatsa” ndi “kulandira” ndi “kubwezera”. Koma luso la kupereka mphatso si la aliyense.

Sindikumva kufunika kwanga

Awo amene amapeza kukhala kovuta kulandira mphatso kaŵirikaŵiri zimawavuta mofananamo kuvomereza kuyamikira, kuyanjidwa, kuyang’ana. “Kukhoza kulandira mphatso kumafuna kudzidalira kwambiri ndi kukhulupirira winayo,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Corine Dollon. "Ndipo zimatengera zomwe tinali nazo kale. Mwachitsanzo, tidapeza bwanji mabere kapena zoziziritsa kukhosi tili makanda? Kodi tinali kusamaliridwa bwanji tili ana? Kodi m’banja komanso kusukulu tinali ofunika bwanji?”

Ngati talandira «nanso» kwambiri, ndiye kuti mphatso adzakhala analandira mochuluka kapena mochepa modekha. Ngati tidalandira pang'ono kapena palibe konse, ndiye kuti pali kuchepa, ndipo mphatso zimangotsindika kukula kwake. “Timakonda mphatso monga momwe zimatikhazika mtima pansi ndi kutithandiza kumva kuti tilipo,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Virginie Meggle. Koma ngati si ife choncho, ndiye kuti timakonda mphatso mocheperapo.

Sindidzidalira ndekha

Sylvie Tenenbaum akupitiriza kuti: “Vuto la mphatso n’lakuti zimalanda zida za wolandirayo. Tingaone kuti tili ndi mangawa kwa wotichitira chifundoyo. Mphatso ndi chiwopsezo chotheka. Kodi tingabweze chinthu chamtengo wofanana? Kodi chifaniziro chathu ndi chiyani m'maso mwa wina? Kodi akufuna kutipatsa ziphuphu? Ife sitimakhulupirira woperekayo. Komanso inunso.

Corine Dollon anati: “Kulandira mphatso ndiko kudziulula. "Ndipo kudziulula ndikufanana ndi zoopsa kwa iwo omwe sanazolowere kufotokoza zakukhosi kwawo, kaya ndi chisangalalo kapena chisoni." Ndipo pambuyo pa zonse, tauzidwa nthawi zambiri: simudziwa kuti simunakonde mphatsoyo! Simungasonyeze kukhumudwa. Nenani zikomo! Olekanitsidwa ndi malingaliro athu, timataya mawu athu ndikuwumitsidwa ndi chisokonezo.

Kwa ine, mphatsoyo ilibe zomveka

Malinga ndi Virginie Meggle, sitikonda mphatso zokha, koma zomwe zakhala mu nthawi ya kugwiritsidwa ntchito konsekonse. Mphatso ngati chizindikiro chokondana komanso kufunitsitsa kutenga nawo mbali kulibenso. Ana amasankha m'maphukusi pansi pamtengo, tili ndi ufulu wopeza "mphatso" m'sitolo, ndipo ngati sitikonda tinthu tating'onoting'ono, tikhoza kugulitsanso mtsogolo. Mphatso yasiya kugwira ntchito, sizimvekanso,” akutero.

Ndiye n'chifukwa chiyani tiyenera mphatso zimene sizigwirizana ndi «kukhala», koma kokha «kugulitsa» ndi «kugula»?

Zoyenera kuchita?

Pangani kutsitsa kwa semantic

Timadzaza ntchito yopereka ndi matanthauzo ambiri ophiphiritsa, koma mwina tiyenera kumveketsa bwino: kupereka mphatso kuti tisangalale, osati kusangalatsa, kulandira chiyamiko, kuyang'ana bwino kapena kutsatira miyambo yachitukuko.

Posankha mphatso, yesani kutsatira zomwe wolandirayo akufuna, osati zanu.

Yambani ndi mphatso kwa inu nokha

Zochita ziwiri za kupereka ndi kulandira ndi zogwirizana kwambiri. Yesani kudzipereka nokha chinachake choti muyambe nacho. A zabwino trinket, madzulo mu malo osangalatsa ... Ndipo kulandira mphatso ndikumwetulira.

Ndipo mukalandira mphatso kuchokera kwa ena, yesetsani kuti musaweruze zolinga zawo. Ngati mphatsoyo siikukondani, ioneni kuti ndi vuto linalake, osati chifukwa chonyalanyaza inuyo.

Yesetsani kubwezera mphatsoyo ku tanthauzo lake loyambirira: ndi kusinthanitsa, kusonyeza chikondi. Chilekeni kukhala chinthu chamtengo wapatali ndikukhala chizindikiro cha kugwirizana kwanu ndi munthu wina kachiwiri. Ndipotu, kusakonda mphatso sikutanthauza kusakonda anthu.

M'malo mopatsa mphatso, mutha kupatsa okondedwa anu nthawi ndi chidwi. Idyani limodzi, pitani pakutsegulira kwa chiwonetsero kapena kungowonera kanema ...