"Ndikuganiza kuti ndine mayi woyipa": chochita?

Kodi ndine mayi wabwino? Mayi aliyense amadzifunsa funso ili nthawi zina m'chaka choyamba pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana. Anthu amasiku ano amaika chithunzi cha mayi wabwino, yemwe amachita bwino m'chilichonse mosavuta: amadzipereka yekha kwa khanda, samakwiya, satopa komanso sakwiyitsidwa ndi zazing'ono.

Kunena zoona, akazi ambiri amakhala odzipatula, amavutika maganizo pambuyo pobereka, ndiponso amasowa tulo. Zonsezi zimalepheretsa thupi, lomwe linalibe nthawi yochira pambuyo pobereka, mphamvu zake zomaliza. Amayi achichepere amamva kutopa, mantha, opanda pake.

Ndiyeno kukayikira kumabuka: “Kodi ndidzatha kukhala mayi wabwino? Kodi ndingalere bwanji mwana ngati sindingathe kudzisamalira? Ndilibe nthawi yochita chilichonse! ” Kuwonekera kwa malingaliro otere ndikomveka. Koma kuti tichotse kukayikira, tiyeni tiwone zifukwa za maonekedwe awo.

Chitsenderezo cha anthu

Katswiri wa zachikhalidwe cha anthu Gerard Neirand, mlembi wina wa Bambo, Amayi ndi Ntchito Zosatha, akuwona chifukwa chomwe amayi achichepere amakhala ndi nkhawa chifukwa masiku ano kulera mwana ndi "kusokoneza maganizo". Timauzidwa kuti zolakwa m’maleredwe kapena kupanda chikondi paubwana zingawononge kwambiri moyo wa mwana. Zolephera zonse za moyo wachikulire nthawi zambiri zimayambitsidwa ndi mavuto aubwana ndi zolakwa za makolo.

Chotsatira chake, amayi achichepere amamva kuti ali ndi udindo waukulu pa tsogolo la mwana ndipo amawopa kulakwitsa koopsa. Mwadzidzidzi, ndi chifukwa cha iye kuti mwana adzakhala egoist, chigawenga, sangathe kuyambitsa banja ndi kukwaniritsa yekha? Zonsezi zimapangitsa kukhala ndi nkhawa komanso kuchuluka kwa zofuna zanu.

zolinga zakutali

Marion Conyard, katswiri wa zamaganizo amene ali katswiri wa kulera ana, ananena kuti chifukwa chimene akazi ambiri amada nkhaŵa ndicho kufunitsitsa kusunga nthaŵi ndi kulamulira.

Amafuna kuphatikiza umayi, ntchito, moyo wamunthu komanso zomwe amakonda. Ndipo panthawi imodzimodziyo akuyesera kupereka zabwino zonse kumbali zonse, kuti zikhale zoyenera kutsatira. Marion Conyard anati: “Zilakolako zawo n’zambiri ndipo nthawi zina zimakhala zosemphana, zomwe zimabweretsa kukangana m’maganizo.

Komanso, ambiri ali mu ukapolo wa stereotypes. Mwachitsanzo, kuti kukhala ndi nthawi yokhala ndi mwana wamng'ono ndi kudzikonda, kapena kuti mayi wa ana ambiri sangakhale ndi udindo wofunikira wa utsogoleri. Chikhumbo chofuna kulimbana ndi malingaliro oterowo chimadzetsanso mavuto.

neurosis ya amayi

“Kukhala mayi ndikodabwitsa kwambiri. Chilichonse chimasintha: moyo, udindo, maudindo, zokhumba, zokhumba ndi zikhulupiriro, ndi zina zotero. Zimenezi zimasokoneza kudziona kuti ndife okhazikika,” akupitiriza motero Marion Conyard.

Psyche ya mkazi pambuyo pa kubadwa kwa mwana amataya mfundo zonse zothandizira. Mwachibadwa, pali kukayikira ndi mantha. Amayi achichepere amadzimva kukhala osalimba komanso osatetezeka.

“Mkazi akadzifunsa kapena adzifunsa okondedwa ake ngati amam’wona kukhala mayi woipa, mosadziŵa amafunafuna chitonthozo ndi chichirikizo. Iye, monga mwana, amafunikira kuti ena amutamande, athetse mantha ake ndi kumuthandiza kuti adzidalire, "anatero katswiriyu.

Zoyenera kuchita?

Ngati mukukumana ndi mantha ndi kukayika koteroko, musawabisire inu nokha. Pamene mumadzilimbitsa nokha, m'pamenenso kumakhala kovuta kuti muthe kupirira maudindo anu.

1. Khulupirirani kuti zonse sizowopsa

Maonekedwe a mantha oterowo paokha amasonyeza kuti ndinu mayi wodalirika. Izi zikutanthauza kuti mukugwira ntchito yabwino. Kumbukirani kuti, mwachiwonekere, amayi anu atha kuthera nthawi yochepa kwa inu, anali ndi chidziwitso chochepa ponena za kulera ana, koma inu munakula ndipo munatha kulinganiza moyo wanu.

"Choyamba, muyenera kudzikhulupirira nokha, mphamvu zanu, khulupirirani chidziwitso chanu. Osayika "mabuku anzeru" pamutu pa chilichonse. Lerani mwana mogwirizana ndi luso lanu, malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu a chabwino ndi choipa,” akutero katswiri wa zachikhalidwe cha anthu Gerard Neirand. Zolakwa zamaphunziro zitha kuwongoleredwa. Mwanayo angapindule nazo.

2. Funsani thandizo

Palibe cholakwika ndi kutembenukira ku chithandizo cha nanny, achibale, mwamuna, kusiya mwana ndi kuthera nthawi yanu. Izi zimakuthandizani kuti musinthe ndikuchita bwino ndi ntchito zanu. Musayese kuchita zonse nokha. Gonani, pitani ku salon yokongola, cheza ndi bwenzi, pitani ku zisudzo - zosangalatsa zazing'ono zonsezi zimapangitsa kuti tsiku lililonse la umayi likhale lodekha komanso logwirizana.

3. Iwalani za kulakwa

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Marion Conyard anati: “Mwana safuna mayi wangwiro. "Chofunika kwambiri ndi chitetezo chake, chomwe chingaperekedwe ndi kholo lodalirika, lodekha komanso lodalirika." Chotero, palibe chifukwa chokhalira ndi malingaliro a liwongo. M’malo mwake, dzitamandeni chifukwa cha mmene mukuchitira. Pamene mukuyesera kudziletsa kukhala "woipa", kumakhala kovuta kwambiri kulamulira maganizo anu.