Aliyense kamodzi m'moyo wake adakumana ndi anthu osapiririka: pamayendedwe, m'misewu, kuntchito komanso, zovuta kwambiri, kunyumba. Zoyenera kuchita ngati wolowererayo achita zosayenera ndipo kukambirana kolimbikitsa sikutheka? Timagawana njira zolankhulirana ndi omwe khalidwe lawo ladutsa malire onse.
Kodi timamva bwanji tikamakumana ndi bwana yemwe amafuna kuti zinthu zisatheke? Kodi kukambirana ndi capricious mwana kapena aukali wachinyamata? Momwe mungadzitetezere kwa mnzanu wonyenga kapena kukhazikitsa kasitomala wopanda pake ndi zonena zopanda pake? Kodi mungathawire kuti mkazi wodzisunga, chotani ndi kholo lachikulire limene limafuna chisamaliro chopambanitsa kwa iyemwini? Njira zothetsera vutoli zimaperekedwa ndi katswiri wazamisala komanso mphunzitsi wabizinesi Mark Goulston.
Pokonzekera kukambirana, ganizirani: kodi n'koyenera? Kodi sizingakhale bwino kukhala kutali ndi iye? Ngati izi sizingatheke, muyenera kumvetsetsa zifukwa za khalidwe losayenera la interlocutor. Kulankhulana pamlingo wofanana, chifundo ndi kumizidwa mu vutolo kudzakuthandizani, ndipo mikangano yomveka, mwatsoka, idzakhala yopanda mphamvu.
Kulankhula ndi munthu wolakwika kuli ngati nkhondo ya titans, chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kukhala chete
Magwero a vuto ali m’khalidwe lolakwika la makolo a munthu wopanda nzeru. Ngati ali wamng'ono adanyozedwa mopitirira muyeso, kudzudzulidwa kapena kunyalanyazidwa, ndiye kuti akakula adzachita zinthu mopanda nzeru muzochitika zilizonse zachilendo kwa iye. Awo amene anachitiridwa zinthu momvetsetsa ndi kuchirikizidwa ndi makolo awo amaima pa mapazi awo molimba kwambiri, koma amakhalanso ndi ziwopsezo zosakwanira m’mikhalidwe yodetsa nkhaŵa.
Ngati munthu wosasamala ali pafupi ndi inu, ndithudi ndi bwino kuyesa kupeza kunyengerera. Chinsinsi cha kupambana poyankhulana naye ndikutha kuletsa "maganizo anu amkati", chifukwa pali gawo lopanda nzeru mwa aliyense wa ife. Simungathe kulingalira kuchuluka kwa malingaliro olakwika omwe mumapanga ponena za ena, kuwayang'ana kupyolera mu prism ya kupanda nzeru kwanu. Zoyenera kuchita?
"kubwerera ku Tsogolo"
Chitani zotsatirazi: pendani zochitika zonse zofunika zakale zomwe zinasiya chizindikiro chosazikika pa moyo, zomwe anachita kwa iwo, kuyesa kosatheka kukhazikitsa chiyanjano ndi anthu. Izi zidzakuthandizani kuwunika katundu wa negativity zomwe mumanyamula ndikumvetsetsa zolinga za zomwe mukuchita.
Pokhapokha mutayang'ana mu "I" yanu, kupeza "chidendene cha Achilles" ndikulimbitsa bwino, mungayesere kupanga zokambirana zolimbikitsa ndi munthu wina.
Kulankhula ndi munthu wolakwika kuli ngati nkhondo ya titans, chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kukhala chete. Kumbukirani kuti wotsutsayo adzayesa kukugwetsani, kukuponyerani mabomba a mawu ndikudikirira kuti muphulike. Bwerezerani nokha: "Uwu ndi mwayi waukulu wodziletsa", pumani mozama, khalani chete.
Yang'anani khalidwe la opusa ndi kuyesa m'magulu ake "misala"
Ngati ndi kotheka, tulukani m'chipindamo, khalani pansi, kumbukirani omwe amakuthandizani. Kodi akanalangiza chiyani? Mukangozindikira kuti kumverera koyamikira kwa alangizi kwadutsa mkwiyo, bwererani ku zokambirana. Uzani wolankhulayo modekha kuti: “Kodi chimenecho chinali chiyani? Mukufuna kundifikitsa chani ndi izi?
Ngati mwasiya, chotsani, imani pang'ono ndipo osachitapo kanthu kwa masiku atatu. Panthawi imeneyi, mudzazindikira, kubwezeretsa mphamvu ndi kukhazikika kwamkati.
Unikani maganizo anu: kudziimba mlandu, manyazi, mantha, kukwiya. Mukhoza kupeza chithandizo kuchokera kwa wokondedwa kapena katswiri wa zamaganizo. Chofunika koposa, musayesedwe kusiya.
kupepesa, chifundo ndi kuulula
Yesani njira ya ARI (Kupepesa, Kumvera chisoni, ndi Kutsegula). Pepani moona mtima kwa interlocutor ngati munali wankhanza kwambiri. Onetsani chifundo kuti munthuyo akuyenera kulekerera khalidwe lanu. Nenani malingaliro amdima ndi owononga omwe mwina ali nawo okhudzana ndi inu komanso omwe angachite nawo manyazi.
Yerekezerani zomwe mudzanene, simungakonzekere apa. Njira iyi, yomwe si yosavuta kuchita, imatha kuchita zodabwitsa (komabe, sizingagwire ntchito kukhazikitsa ubale ndi munthu amene amadana nanu poyera ndikukufunirani zoipa).
Pomaliza, ngati wopanda nzeru sali pakati pa anthu omwe ali pafupi nanu, yang'anani mosamala khalidwe lake ndikuyesera kugawa "misala" yake: ndi munthu wamba yemwe amachita zosayenera, kapena akhoza kukhala ndi vuto lalikulu la maganizo. Ngati pali mwayi wothana ndi anthu wamba paokha, ndiye kuti dokotala yekha ndi amene angathandize munthu wodwala maganizo.