Zamkatimu
Zotengeka - zabwino ndi zoyipa - zitha kufalikira ngati kachilombo pakati pa chilengedwe chathu. Mfundo imeneyi yatsimikiziridwa mobwerezabwereza ndi maphunziro osiyanasiyana. Psychotherapist Donald Altman akufotokoza momwe mungakhalire osangalala pomanga mayanjano ochezera moyenera.
Kodi nthawi zambiri mumakhala osungulumwa, osiyidwa? Mukuwona ngati ubale wanu sulinso wanzeru? “Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti suli wekha,” akutsimikizira motero Donald Altman, yemwe anali mmonke wachibuda wachibuda. "M'malo mwake, pafupifupi 50% ya anthu amasungulumwa ndipo pafupifupi 40% amakhulupirira kuti ubale wawo ulibe tanthauzo." Komanso: theka la anthu okha ndi amene angathe kulankhula mokwanira ndi munthu wofunika komanso wofunika.
Mliri wa kusungulumwa
Bungwe la American World Health Organization Cigna linachita kafukufuku wokhudza anthu oposa 20 zikwi ndipo adapeza "mliri" weniweni wa kusungulumwa ku United States. Nthawi yomweyo, m'badwo wa Z udakhala wosungulumwa kwambiri (zaka - kuyambira zaka 18 mpaka 22), ndipo oimira "Great Generation" (72+) amakumana ndi izi.
Polimbana ndi kusungulumwa, cholinga cha munthu ndi moyo wake bwino - kugona mokwanira, kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi ndi kugwirizana ndi anthu ena. Koma popeza iyi ndi nkhani yovuta, Altman akuwonetsa kudumphira mozama pamutuwu ndikuwerenga kafukufuku wa momwe moyo wamagulu umakhudzira moyo wamalingaliro.
Maganizo amafalikira ngati kachilombo
Pulofesa wa Harvard Medical School Nicholas Christakis ndi pulofesa wa sayansi ya chilengedwe ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu ku yunivesite ya California James Fowler aphunzira za ubale wa anthu monga "maketani" achimwemwe.
Asayansi adayesa kulumikizana kwa anthu opitilira 5000 omwe adachita nawo ntchito ina yomwe idafufuza matenda amtima. Ntchitoyi inakhazikitsidwa mu 1948, ndipo m'badwo wachiwiri wa mamembala ake adalowa mu 1971. Choncho, ochita kafukufuku adatha kuwona maukonde ochezera a pa Intaneti kwa zaka zingapo, zomwe zinakula kangapo chifukwa cha kupatukana kwa wophunzira aliyense.
Kafukufukuyu anasonyeza kuti zinthu zoipa - kunenepa kwambiri ndi kusuta - kufalikira kudzera «ukonde» mabwenzi mofanana chimwemwe. Ofufuza adapeza kuti kucheza ndi anthu okondwa kumawonjezera chisangalalo chathu ndi 15,3%, ndikuwonjezera mwayi wathu ndi 9,8% ngati munthu wokondwa anali bwenzi lapamtima.
Ngakhale moyo utakhala wovuta, kutipangitsa kukhala tokha, tingayesetse kusintha.
Donald Altan amatikumbutsa kuti ubwenzi ndi mbali yofunika ya chimwemwe. Kukhala ndi bwenzi kapena wachibale wachimwemwe pafupi sikungakuthandizeni kukhala osangalala ngati akukhala mumzinda wina. Only payekha, moyo kukhudzana kumathandiza «kufalitsa» kumverera. Ndipo ngakhale kulankhulana pa Intaneti kapena pa foni sikumagwira ntchito mofanana ndi kukumana pamasom’pamaso.
Nazi zotsatira zazikulu za maphunziro omwe atchulidwa ndi psychologist:
- kulinganiza moyo n'kofunika kwambiri - komanso kulankhulana payekha;
- malingaliro amatha kufalikira ngati kachilombo;
- kusungulumwa si kwamuyaya.
Iye anawonjezera mfundo yomalizira yozikidwa pa chikhulupiriro chakuti kusungulumwa kwakukulukulu kumazikidwa pa khalidwe lathu ndi moyo wathu, umene ungasinthidwe. Ngakhale moyo utakhala wosalamulirika, n’kutisiya osungulumwa, tingayesetse kusintha zinthu, kuphatikizapo kusankha zinthu mwatanthauzo pankhani ya malo amene amakhudza kwambiri chimwemwe chathu.
Masitepe atatu kuchoka pa kusungulumwa kupita ku chisangalalo
Altman amapereka njira zitatu zosavuta komanso zamphamvu zobweretsera moyo wabwino komanso tanthauzo pamaubwenzi.
1. Sinthani maganizo anu malinga ndi nthawi yomwe muli nayo
Ngati mulibe malire mkati, ndiye kuti simungathe kukhazikitsa ubale wabwino ndi ena. Chitani nawo machitidwe osinkhasinkha kapena oganiza bwino kuti mudziphunzitse kuyang'ana malingaliro anu pano ndi pano.
2. Patulani nthawi tsiku lililonse yolankhulana.
Kuyankhulana kwamavidiyo, ndithudi, ndikosavuta, koma sikuli koyenera kulankhulana kwathunthu ndi munthu wofunika kwambiri kwa inu. "Pezani nthawi yopuma ya digito ndikugwiritsa ntchito mphindi 10-15 ndikukambirana zabwino zakale," Altman akulangiza.
Yang'anani momwe chilengedwe chanu - kuchokera pa TV mpaka anthu enieni - chimakhudzira momwe mukumvera. Njira imodzi yopangira maubwenzi abwino ndikugawana nkhani zolimbikitsa ndi anthu ena. Pochita izi, mudzakhala osankha kwambiri tsiku ndi tsiku, kuyang'ana dziko lozungulira inu m'njira yabwino.
“Yesani kuchita zimenezi ndipo muona mmene masitepe atatu osavuta m’kupita kwa nthaŵi angakuthandizireni kuti musasungulumwe ndi kubweretsa maubwenzi abwino m’moyo wanu,” akufotokoza mwachidule Donald Altman.
Za wolemba: Donald Altman ndi psychotherapist komanso wolemba mabuku angapo, kuphatikiza ogulitsa kwambiri Chifukwa! Kudzutsa nzeru kukhala pano ndi pano. "