Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati moyo wanu ndi wopambana kapena ayi? Ndipo ndi chiyani chomwe chimakulolani kuweruza izi - malipiro, udindo, udindo, kuzindikira kwa anthu ammudzi? Katswiri wa zamaganizo Emily Isfahani Smith akufotokoza chifukwa chake kuli koopsa kugwirizanitsa kupambana ndi ntchito ndi kutchuka.
Malingaliro ena olakwika ponena za chimene chipambano chiri chofala m’chitaganya chamakono. Wina amene anapita ku Harvard mosakayikira ndi wanzeru komanso wabwino kuposa munthu amene anamaliza maphunziro awo ku Ohio State University. Bambo amene amakhala panyumba ndi ana sali wothandiza kwa anthu monga munthu amene amagwira ntchito m’makampani akuluakulu padziko lonse. Mzimayi yemwe ali ndi otsatira 200 pa Instagram (bungwe lochita zinthu monyanyira loletsedwa ku Russia) ndi wocheperako kuposa mkazi yemwe ali ndi mamiliyoni awiri.
Lingaliro lachipambano limeneli silimangosokeretsa, ndi lovulaza kwambiri kwa amene amalikhulupirira. Pamene ndinali kugwira ntchito pa bukhu lakuti The Power of Meaning, ndinalankhula ndi anthu ambiri amene amadzipanga kukhala odziŵika pamaziko a maphunziro awo ndi zimene apambana pa ntchito.
Akachita bwino, amaona kuti sakhala pachabe—ndipo amasangalala. Koma akapanda kupeza zotsatira zimene ankayembekezera, amataya mtima msanga, n’kumaona kuti iwowo ndi opanda ntchito. Kunena zoona, kukhala wochita zinthu mwachipambano sikutanthauza kukhala ndi ntchito yabwino kapena kukhala ndi luso lapamwamba kwambiri. Kumatanthauza kukhala munthu wabwino, wanzeru ndi wowolowa manja.
Kukula kwa makhalidwe amenewa kumapangitsa anthu kukhala osangalala. Zimenezo zimawathandiza kulimbana ndi mavuto molimba mtima ndi kuvomereza imfa modekha. Nazi njira zomwe tiyenera kugwiritsa ntchito poyeza chipambano—chathu, cha ena, ndipo makamaka ana athu.
Kuganiziranso Kupambana
Malinga ndi chiphunzitso cha katswiri wazamisala wazaka za zana la XNUMX Eric Erickson, aliyense wa ife, kuti akhale ndi moyo watanthauzo, amayenera kuthana ndi zovuta zina pagawo lililonse lachitukuko. Muunyamata, mwachitsanzo, ntchito yotereyi imakhala kupanga chidziwitso, kudzimva kuti ndiwe ndani. Cholinga chachikulu cha unyamata ndicho kukhazikitsa maubwenzi apamtima ndi ena.
Pakukhwima, ntchito yofunika kwambiri imakhala «generativity», ndiko, kufuna kusiya chizindikiro pambuyo pawekha, kuti athandize kwambiri padziko lapansi, kaya ndi kuphunzitsa mbadwo watsopano kapena kuthandiza anthu ena kuzindikira zomwe angathe.
Pofotokoza mawu akuti "generativity" m'buku la Life Cycle Complete, Eric Erikson akufotokoza nkhani yotsatirayi. Achibale ambiri anabwera kudzacheza ndi nkhalamba yomwe inali kumwalira. Anagona ndi maso ali otseka, ndipo mkazi wake ankamunong’oneza onse amene anabwera kudzamupatsa moni. "Ndipo ndani," adafunsa mwadzidzidzi, atakhala tsonga, "ndani akuyang'anira sitolo?" Mawu amenewa akufotokoza tanthauzo lenileni la moyo wa munthu wamkulu, umene Ahindu amautcha kuti “kusunga mtendere.”
M’mawu ena, munthu wamkulu wachipambano ndi amene amaposa kudzikonda kwachibadwa kwa unyamata ndipo amamvetsetsa kuti sikulinso nkhani yongotsatira njira yanu, koma kuthandiza ena, kupanga chinthu chatsopano ndi chothandiza kwa dziko. Munthu woteroyo amadziona ngati mbali ya chinsalu chachikulu cha moyo ndipo amafuna kuchisungira mibadwo yamtsogolo. Ntchito imeneyi imapereka tanthauzo ku moyo wake.
Munthu amamva bwino akadziwa kuti ali ndi udindo waukulu m’dera lake.
Wamalonda ndi Investor Anthony Tian ndi chitsanzo cha munthu wobereka. Koma sizinali choncho nthawi zonse. Mu 2000, Tian, yemwe anali woyamba ku Harvard Business School, anali ndi kampani yomwe ikukula mwachangu $100 miliyoni yothandiza pa intaneti yotchedwa Zefer. Tian ankapita kukatenga kampaniyo kumsika wotseguka, womwe umayenera kumubweretsera phindu lochepa.
Koma tsiku lomwe kampaniyo idayenera kulengeza poyera, a Nasdaq adakumana ndi ngozi yayikulu kwambiri m'mbiri. Kuwira kwa dot-com, komwe kunapangidwa chifukwa cha kukwera kwa magawo amakampani a intaneti, kudaphulika. Izi zinapangitsa kuti kampani ya Tian ikonzedwenso ndi maulendo atatu ochotsedwa. Wamalondayo anawonongeka. Iye ankaona kuti wanyozeka komanso wokhumudwa.
Atachira ku chigonjetso, Tian anazindikira kuti kumvetsetsa kwake kwa kupambana kunali kumutsogolera ku njira yolakwika. Mawu akuti "kupambana" anali kwa iye n'chimodzimodzi ndi chigonjetso. Iye akulemba kuti: "Tidawona kupambana kwathu m'mamiliyoni omwe zopereka zapagulu zimayenera kubweretsa, osati muzatsopano zomwe tidapanga, osati pazokhudza dziko lapansi." Anaganiza kuti inali nthawi yoti agwiritse ntchito luso lake kuti akwaniritse zolinga zapamwamba.
Masiku ano, Tian ndi mnzake pakampani yogulitsa ndalama ya Cue Ball, komwe amayesa kukwaniritsa zomwe apeza pochita bwino. Ndipo akuwoneka kuti wachita bwino kwambiri. Imodzi mwama projekiti omwe amakonda kwambiri ndi MiniLuxe, salon ya misomali yomwe adayambitsa kuti akweze mbiri ya ntchito yomwe amalipira ndalama zochepa.
Mumanetiweki ake, ambuye a manicure amapeza bwino ndikulandila ndalama zapenshoni, ndipo zotsatira zabwino zimatsimikiziridwa kwa makasitomala. Tian anati: “Sindikufuna kuti ana anga aziganiza kuti zinthu zikuyenda bwino ngati atalephera. "Ndikufuna kuti ayesetse kuchita zonse."
Chitani Chinachake Chothandiza
Muchitsanzo cha chitukuko cha Ericksonian, khalidwe losiyana ndi kubadwa ndiloyimirira, kuyimirira. Zogwirizana nazo ndi lingaliro la kupanda tanthauzo kwa moyo ndi kupanda pake kwa munthu.
Munthu amamva kuti zinthu zikuwayendera bwino akadziwa kuti ali ndi udindo waukulu m’dera limene akukhala komanso kuti iyeyo ndi wofunitsitsa kuti dera lake lipite patsogolo. Izi zidadziwika m'zaka za m'ma 70 ndi akatswiri azamisala zachitukuko pazaka khumi zomwe adawona amuna 40.
Mmodzi wa anthu awo, wolemba, anali kudutsa m'nyengo yovuta pa ntchito yake. Koma atalandira foni ndi mwayi woti aphunzitse zolemba zaluso ku yunivesite, adazitenga ngati chitsimikiziro cha kuyenerera kwake komanso kufunikira kwake.
Winanso yemwe anali pa nthawiyo anali paulova kwa nthawi yoposa chaka chimodzi, anauza ofufuzawo kuti: “Ndikuona khoma lopanda kanthu pamaso panga. Ndikuona ngati palibe amene amandisamala. Lingaliro lakuti sindingathe kupezera banja langa zosoŵa limandipangitsa kudzimva kukhala wopanda pake, wopanda pake.”
Mwayi wokhala wothandiza unapatsa munthu woyamba chifuno chatsopano m’moyo. Wachiwiri sanadzionere yekha mwayi woterowo, ndipo izi zinali zopweteka kwambiri kwa iye. Ndithudi, ulova si vuto lazachuma chabe. Izi ndizovuta zomwe zilipo.
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kuchuluka kwa kusowa kwa ntchito kumagwirizana ndi kukwera kwa ziwopsezo zodzipha. Anthu akamaona kuti sangakwanitse kuchita zinthu zaphindu, amangotaya nthawi.
Mwachiwonekere, pansi pa mtima wanga, chinachake chinali kusowa, popeza chivomerezo chokhazikika chochokera kunja chinafunikira.
Koma ntchito si njira yokhayo yothandiza ena. John Barnes, wochita nawo phunziro la nthawi yayitali, adaphunzira izi kuchokera kuzochitika. Barnes, pulofesa wa biology pa yunivesite, anali katswiri wofuna kutchuka komanso wochita bwino kwambiri. Analandira ndalama zambiri monga Guggenheim Fellowship, adasankhidwa mogwirizana ndi mutu wa Ivy League, komanso anali wothandizira pasukulu ya zachipatala.
Ndipo pa zonsezi, iye, mwamuna muubwana wake, ankadziona ngati wolephera. Analibe zolinga zimene angaone kuti n’zoyenera. Ndipo zomwe ankakonda kwambiri zinali "kugwira ntchito mu labotale ndikumverera ngati membala wa gulu" - palibe wina, m'mawu ake, "sankasowa kanthu."
Iye ankaona kuti akukhala moyo wosasangalala. Kwa zaka zonse ankangotengeka ndi chilakolako chofuna kutchuka. Ndipo koposa zonse, iye ankafuna kukhala ndi mbiri monga wasayansi woyamba. Koma tsopano anazindikira kuti chikhumbo chake chofuna kutchuka chinatanthauza kukhala wopanda pake wauzimu. “Mwachiwonekere, pansi pa mtima wanga, chinachake chinali kusoweka, popeza chivomerezo chokhazikika chochokera kunja chinafunikira,” akufotokoza motero John Barnes.
Kwa munthu wazaka zapakati, mkhalidwe wosatsimikizirika umenewu, kusinthasintha pakati pa kubadwa ndi kusakhazikika, pakati pa kusamalira ena ndi kudzisamalira, nkwachibadwa. Ndipo kuthetseratu zotsutsanazi, malinga ndi Erickson, ndi chizindikiro cha chitukuko chopambana pa msinkhu uno. Zomwe, pambuyo pa zonse, Barnes adachita.
Ambiri aife timalota maloto osakwaniritsidwa. Funso ndilakuti timachita bwanji ndi kukhumudwitsidwa kumeneku?
Ofufuzawo atamuyendera patapita zaka zingapo, anapeza kuti sanalinso woganizira kwambiri za kupita patsogolo kwa munthu komanso kuzindikirika ndi ena. M’malo mwake, anapeza njira zothandizira ena—kukhala wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi kulera mwana wake wamwamuna, kuyang’anira ntchito zoyang’anira pa yunivesite, kuyang’anira ophunzira omaliza maphunziro awo m’labu yake.
Mwina ntchito yake ya sayansi sidzadziwika kuti ndi yofunika, sadzatchedwanso kuwala m'munda wake. Koma adalembanso nkhani yake ndikuvomereza kuti zidayenda bwino. Anasiya kuthamangitsa kutchuka. Tsopano nthawi yake imakhala yotanganidwa ndi zinthu zomwe anzake ndi achibale ake amafunikira.
Tonse ndife ofanana ndi John Barnes. Mwina sitili ndi njala ya kuzindikirika ndipo sitinapite patsogolo kwambiri pantchito zathu. Koma ambiri aife timakhala ndi maloto osatheka. Funso ndilakuti timachita bwanji ndi kukhumudwitsidwa kumeneku?
Tingathe kunena kuti ndife olephera ndipo moyo wathu ulibe tanthauzo, monga momwe Barnes anakonzera poyamba. Koma titha kusankha tanthauzo lina lachipambano, lomwe limakhala lochita kupanga - kugwira ntchito mwakachetechete kusunga masitolo athu ang'onoang'ono padziko lonse lapansi ndikudalira kuti wina adzawasamalira tikapita. Zomwe, pamapeto pake, zitha kuwonedwa ngati kiyi ya moyo watanthauzo.