Zamkatimu
Chochitika chosiyana kotheratu ndi umayi
Kubweretsa mwana kudziko lapansi ndi ulendo wabwino kwambiri kwa mayi. Chifukwa cha kamnyamata kakang'ono, adzabisala mu thupi lake "kugonana kwina", wamwamuna, yemwe sakudziwa. Kwa mayi, mwana wamwamuna ndi kagulu kakang'ono ka gladiator yemwe angagonjetse dziko lapansi chifukwa cha iye… Adzakonza zomwe sakanatha kuchita. Mwachidule, ndiko kubadwanso kwa iye monga mwamuna. Pobala mwana wamwamuna, mayi amalowa ku dziko lina, kudziko la anthu ... Nthawi zonse zimakhala zodabwitsa kukhala ndi "nyama yaying'ono" m'manja mwanu yomwe sitidziwa malangizo ogwiritsira ntchito! Kodi mungaphunzitse bwanji, kuzikonda, ngakhale kuzisintha? M'chipinda cha amayi oyembekezera, pali mafunso ambiri pamutu wa chimbudzi, kubweza kotchuka.
Amayi ndi mwana ayenera kuweta
Ubale wa mayi ndi mwana sumachokera ku chidziwitso, monga momwe zimakhalira ndi mwana wamkazi, koma zimafuna kuwongolera pang'onopang'ono. Amayi amayenera kupeka, kuwongolera popanda mphambu, ndikuwongolera mpira wamphamvu uwu ndi testosterone. Zotsatira zake, chifukwa timamudziwa bwino kwambiri, timakopeka kuti tizikonda kwambiri "mwana" wake. Ndipo kotero, kuyambira masiku oyambirira, "mayi nkhuku" ali panjira ! Maphunziro onse amasonyeza kuti kuyamwitsa kumakhala "kolimba" kwambiri ndi mnyamata. Amayi amazolowerana ndi kachidutswa kawo ka tulo kobadwa nako ndipo amadzuka mosavuta usiku, ngati kuti akulabadira kwambiri kamwana aka kawathawa!
Ubale wonyengerera pakati pa mayi ndi mwana
Ndizowona, amayi amakhululukira mfumu yawo yachimuna chirichonse. Amawasangalatsa, kuwanyengerera, kuwalodza! Amamutchanso "mwana wanga". Popeza zomwe Freud adapeza komanso "Oedipus complex" adagawana nawo padziko lonse lapansi, tikudziwa kuti ubale pakati pa mayi ndi mwana umadziwika ndi "kugonana" kwina monga momwe amachitira. Akamuona ali patsogolo pawo, amakopeka kotheratu chifukwa chakuti nthaŵi zambiri amapeza atate awo enieniwo mwa kuchita zinthu zongoyerekezera. Mtundu wotere wa "Oedipus inverted" umawonekera kwambiri chifukwa mikhalidwe ina (chizindikiro chobadwira, malo a kachidutswa, mtundu wa khungu kapena maso, ndi zina zotero) nthawi zambiri imadumpha m'badwo. The kukonzanso kwa Oedipus adzakhala ndi chiyambukiro pa ubale wa amayi ndi mnyamata: mwana amadyetsanso a chikondi chopanda malire kwa amake, amene adzakhala, moyo wake wonse, woyamba wa chikondi, mulungu wake. Palibe chovuta pa izi: kwa mnyamata wamng'ono, kukwatira amayi ake kumakhalabe loto, kuwonetsera kwabwino. Amayi amadziwa bwino, iwo omwe amavutika, osati popanda kunyada, nsanje yaying'ono mu thalauza lalifupi!
Werengani nkhani yakuti "Oedipus: ndi chiyani kwenikweni?"«
Mayi sakonda kwambiri mwana wake
Maubwenzi olimba awa, nthawi zina mopambanitsa, osangalatsa koma amawopsyeza amayi. Potengeka ndi mantha a mu Oedipus, amadziletsa kukonda mwana wawo wamng'ono chifukwa amawopa, pomuumiriza kwambiri, kumuwona "akutembenuka" wimpy, ndi chifukwa chiyani osati "gay"! Clichés amakhala ndi moyo wautali ndipo ndizochititsa manyazi. Amayi sayenera kuchepetsa chikondi chawo kwa mwana wawo wamwamuna, kudziletsa kukhala wodekha, wachifundo, wachikondi, mulimonse, zaka zoyambirira. Tisakokomeze! Sizoletsedwa kutenga mwana wodwala pabedi lake, kamodzi mu kanthawi… Kuchita izo tsiku lililonse mwachiwonekere mopambanitsa. Chofunika ndi kuika malire ndi kusonyeza ulamuliro. Mayi "wabwino", kutsimikizira popanda kufooketsa, adzatha kupatsa mwana wake chisangalalo. chitetezo cholimba zofunikira.
Kuyambira wazaka 2, mwana amafunikira kudziyimira pawokha
Mnyamata adzafuna kuyesa kudziimira kwake kale kwambiri kuposa mtsikana. Kuyambira ali ndi zaka 2, amayesa kuthawa, kutsogolo kwa amayi ake, akuyang'ana pakona ya diso lake, kuti atsimikizire kuti akadalipo. Tikhoza kukhala ndi vuto lomukhulupirira, tiyenera kumvetsetsa chifuniro chake kukula mofulumira kwambiri… Ndipo tiyeni tipite pang'ono. Ngati anyamata amafunikira kwambiri kuyesa, kukwera, kufufuza magawo atsopano, ndiye kuti awononge mphamvu zawo monga momwe amachitira. yesani mtunda.
Mayi ayeneranso kumva kudzichepetsa kwa mwana wawo wamwamuna, wazaka 5/6 zakubadwa. Panthawi yovutayi pamene zokopa zagona, muyenera kusamala kuti musamukumbatire kwambiri, kumupsompsona. Amayi ena amavutika kuona mwana wawo wakale akukana kukumbatira mwaukali. Iwo amaganiza kuti: sandikondanso ine. Nanga ndinamuchita chiyani? Amandida chifukwa chiyani? Ngakhale zili zosiyana! Ndi chifukwa chakuti amamukonda kwambiri moti mnyamata wamng’onoyo amayesa kudzipatula kwa iye, kuthawa m’manja mwake.
Kusiyira atate malo ndikofunikira
Mwachisawawa, anawo ali okonzeka kutero m'malo mwa abambo awo, kukhala “chibwenzi” cha amayi awo. Vutoli ndi lofala kwambiri m’mabanja a kholo limodzi, koma palibe gulu la mabanja limene silingatetezeke. Kusiira malo atate, kapena kwa atate, nkofunikira. Zofunika ngakhale. Kuyambira zaka 4 kapena 5, ngati mwana wamng'ono amakana amayi ake kuti azikonda abambo ake ("ayi, ndi abambo omwe amandiveka! Ndikufuna kupita ndi abambo, osati inu") m'pofunika kuvomereza. Ana onse ali ndi mtundu wina wa "pasipoti" yachimuna kapena yachikazi yomwe imasindikizidwa pang'onopang'ono ndi kholo la amuna kapena akazi okhaokha. Sitingathe kuzithawa, umuna umapatsirana kuchokera kwa atate kupita kwa mwana. Pophunzitsa mwana wake kukhala mwamuna, tate adzathetsa chikondi cha amayi chomwe chimagwirizana.
Mayi / mwana: pezani mtunda woyenera
Mphatso yabwino kwambiri yomwe mayi angapereke kwa mwana wake ndiyo kumukonda nthawi ndi nthawi pafupi, nthawi ndi nthawi "patali", kumvetsera zokhumba za mwana wake, kusowa kwa iye kuyendera. dziko lonse. Adzamukonda bwino koposa pobwezera ndipo adzakhala a munthu wokondwa. Choncho, kaya maphunziro amene angapereke, chisonkhezero cha amayi pa ana awo chimakhala chachikulu kwa zaka zambiri. Choyimitsa pa keke ndikuti adzasankha kusankha ... mkazi wamtsogolo ! Kupondereza, kufuna, kungokhala chete? Nthawi zambiri, mwanayo amaika maganizo ake pa mkazi yemwe amafanana ndi amayi ake ... Kapena yemwe ali wosiyana, zomwe zimakhala zofanana. Ngati mumamukonda mwana wanu mokoma mtima, mosapitirira malire, mudzamupanga kukhala munthu wokwanira m'moyo wake wachifundo. Pambuyo pake adakhala wonyengerera wodalirika komanso woyamikiridwa kwambiri ndi akazi. Monga ngati, pomalizira pake, anali kuyang’ana mwa iye kaamba ka ichi amayi odabwitsa amene adamulera bwino komanso kumukonda ...