Zamkatimu
Ngakhale makolo achikondi ndi osamala kaŵirikaŵiri amalankhula mawu, osati oipa, koma mwachidziŵikire kapena ngakhale a zolinga zabwino, amene amakhumudwitsa kwambiri ana awo. Kodi mungaleke bwanji kuvulaza mwana, zomwe zimatsalira kwa moyo wonse?
Pali fanizo lakummawa loterolo. Bambo wanzeruyo anapatsa mwana wokwiya msanga thumba la misomali ndi kumuuza kuti akomere msomali umodzi pa bolodi la mpanda nthaŵi zonse akalephera kuugwira mtima. Poyamba, chiwerengero cha misomali mumpanda chinakula kwambiri. Koma mnyamatayo anadzilimbitsa yekha, ndipo bambo ake anamulangiza kuti atulutse msomali kunja kwa mpanda nthawi iliyonse akatha kuugwira mtima. Tsiku linafika pamene palibe msomali ngakhale umodzi umene unatsala mumpanda.
Koma mpandawo sunalinso wofanana ndi poyamba: unali ndi mabowo. Ndiyeno bamboyo anafotokoza kwa mwana wake kuti nthawi iliyonse ife kuvulaza munthu ndi mawu, dzenje lomwelo amakhalabe mu moyo wake, chilonda chomwecho. Ndipo ngakhale titapepesa pambuyo pake ndi "kutulutsa msomali", chilondacho chimakhalabe.
Si mkwiyo wokha womwe umatipangitsa kukweza nyundo ndikukhomerera misomali: nthawi zambiri timalankhula mawu opweteka popanda kuganiza, kudzudzula anzathu ndi anzathu, "kungonena maganizo athu" kwa anzathu ndi achibale. Komanso, kulera mwana.
Payekha, pa «mpanda» wanga pali chiwerengero chachikulu cha mabowo ndi zipsera zochitidwa ndi makolo achikondi ndi zolinga zabwino.
"Siwe mwana wanga, adakulowetsa m'chipatala!", "Ndili pano pa msinkhu wako ...", "Ndipo ndiwe ndani!", "Chabwino, kopi ya abambo!", "Ana onse ndi monga ana ...", "N'zosadabwitsa kuti nthawi zonse ndinkafuna mnyamata ...".
Mawu onsewa analankhulidwa m’mitima, m’kamphindi yakuthedwa nzeru ndi kutopa, m’njira zambiri anali kubwerezabwereza zimene makolo enieniwo anamvapo kale. Koma mwanayo sadziwa kuwerenga matanthauzo owonjezerawa ndikumvetsetsa nkhaniyo, koma amamvetsetsa bwino kuti sali choncho, sangathe kupirira, sakwaniritsa zomwe akuyembekezera.
Tsopano popeza ndakula, vuto sikuchotsa misomali iyi ndikuyika mabowo - pali akatswiri amisala ndi akatswiri amisala pazimenezi. Vuto ndiloti osabwereza zolakwa komanso osatchula mawu oyaka, opweteka, opweteka mwadala kapena mwadala.
"Kuchokera kukuya kwa kukumbukira, mawu ankhanza amatengera ana athu"
Yulia Zakharova, katswiri wazamisala
Aliyense wa ife ali ndi maganizo ake. Mu psychology, iwo amatchedwa "I-lingaliro" ndipo ali ndi chifaniziro cha mwiniwake, maganizo pa fano ili (ndiko kuti, kudzidalira kwathu) ndi kuwonetseredwa mu khalidwe.
Lingaliro laumwini limayamba kupangidwa muubwana. Mwana wamng'ono sakudziwa kalikonse za iye mwini. Amamanga fano lake «njerwa ndi njerwa», kudalira mawu a anthu apamtima, makamaka makolo. Ndi mawu awo, kudzudzula, kuunika, matamando kuti kukhala chachikulu «zomangira».
Tikamaganizira kwambiri za mwana wathu, m'pamenenso amaona kuti ali ndi maganizo abwino, ndipo m'pamenenso timakhala ndi mwayi wolera munthu amene amadziona kuti ndi wabwino, woyenerera kuchita bwino komanso wosangalala. Ndipo mosemphanitsa - mawu okhumudwitsa amapanga maziko a kulephera, kudzimva kuti ndi wosafunika.
Mawu awa, omwe anaphunziridwa ali aang'ono, amawazindikira mosakayikira ndipo amakhudza njira ya moyo.
Ndi zaka, mawu ankhanza satha kulikonse. Kukabuka mubukkale bwiindene-indene, bazyalwa bakwesu. Kaŵirikaŵiri timadzipeza tikulankhula nawo m’mawu opweteka amodzimodzi amene tinamva kwa makolo athu. Timafunanso “zinthu zabwino zokha” za ana ndi kusokoneza umunthu wawo ndi mawu.
Mibadwo yam’mbuyomo inkakhala mumkhalidwe wa kusoŵa chidziŵitso cha m’maganizo ndipo sinawone chirichonse chowopsya kaya m’chitonzo kapena m’zilango zakuthupi. Choncho, makolo athu nthawi zambiri sankavulazidwa ndi mawu okha, komanso kukwapulidwa ndi lamba. Tsopano kuti chidziwitso cha m'maganizo chikupezeka kwa anthu osiyanasiyana, ndi nthawi yoti musiye ndodo iyi ya nkhanza.
Nanga bwanji kuphunzitsa?
Ana si magwero a chisangalalo, komanso maganizo oipa: kukwiyitsa, kukhumudwa, chisoni, mkwiyo. Momwe mungathanirane ndi malingaliro popanda kuvulaza moyo wa mwana?
1. Timaphunzitsa kapena sitingathe kupirira tokha?
Musanayambe kufotokoza kusakhutira kwanu ndi mwana, ganizirani: kodi iyi ndi njira yophunzirira kapena mukulephera kuthana ndi malingaliro anu?
2. Ganizirani Zolinga Zanthawi Yaitali
Njira zamaphunziro zimatha kukwaniritsa zolinga zanthawi yayitali komanso zazitali. Kukhazikika kwakanthawi kochepa: kusiya khalidwe losafunika kapena, mosiyana, limbikitsani mwanayo kuchita zomwe sakufuna.
Kukhazikitsa zolinga za nthawi yayitali, timayang'ana zam'tsogolo
Ngati mukufuna kumvera mosakayikira, ganizirani zaka 20 kutsogolo. Kodi mukufuna kuti mwana wanu akadzakula azimvera, osayesa kuteteza udindo wake? Kodi mukukweza wochita bwino kwambiri, loboti?
3. Onetsani zakukhosi pogwiritsa ntchito "I-message"
Mu «I-mauthenga» timangolankhula za ife eni ndi malingaliro athu. "Ndakhumudwa", "ndikukwiyira", "Pamene kuli phokoso, zimakhala zovuta kuti ndiganizire." Komabe, musawasokoneze ndi kuwasokoneza. Mwachitsanzo: "Mukapeza deuce, mutu wanga umapweteka" ndikupusitsa.
4. Musayese munthu, koma zochita
Ngati mukuganiza kuti mwana wanu akulakwitsa, muuzeni. Koma mwachisawawa, mwanayo ndi wabwino, ndipo zochita, mawu angakhale oipa: osati "ndiwe woipa", koma "ndikuwoneka kuti wachita zoipa tsopano".
5. Phunzirani kulimbana ndi malingaliro
Ngati mukupeza kuti simungathe kuthana ndi malingaliro anu, yesetsani kugwiritsa ntchito I-message. Kenako dzisamalireni: pitani kuchipinda china, mupumule, yendani.
Ngati mukudziwa kuti mumadziwika ndi kuchita mopupuluma, dziwani luso lodziletsa: njira zopumira, machitidwe ozindikira. Werengani za njira zothetsera mkwiyo, yesetsani kuti mupumule kwambiri.