"Ndine wotayika", "Sindikhala ndi ubale wabwinobwino", "nditayanso". Ngakhale anthu odzidalira, ayi, ayi, inde, ndipo amadzigwira okha pamalingaliro otero. Momwe mungatsutsire mwachangu komanso moyenera malingaliro anu okhudza inu nokha? Psychotherapist Robert Leahy amapereka chida chosavuta koma champhamvu.
Kodi n’chiyani chingakuthandizeni kulimbana ndi zowawa n’kukwaniritsa zolinga zanu? Nanga bwanji kufufuza malingaliro amunthu? Zonsezi zimaphunzitsidwa ndi monograph yatsopano ndi psychotherapist, wamkulu wa American Institute of Cognitive Therapy Robert Leahy. Buku lakuti «Njira za Chidziwitso Psychotherapy» lapangidwira akatswiri a zamaganizo ndi ophunzira a mayunivesite a maganizo ndi ntchito zawo zothandiza ndi makasitomala, koma osakhala akatswiri angagwiritsenso ntchito chinachake. Mwachitsanzo, njira, imene wolemba amatchedwa «180 Digiri Tembenukira - Chitsimikizo cha Negative», kuperekedwa m'buku monga homuweki ntchito kwa kasitomala.
Nkovuta kwambiri kwa ife kuvomereza kupanda ungwiro kwathu, timaika maganizo athu onse, “kukangamira” pa zolakwa zathu tokha, kupanga ziganizo zazikulu ponena za ife eni kuchokera m’zolakwazo. Koma aliyense wa ife ali ndi zophophonya zake.
“Tonsefe tili ndi makhalidwe kapena makhalidwe amene timaona kuti ndi oipa. Umu ndi mmene anthu amakhalira. Pakati pa omwe timadziwana nawo palibe munthu mmodzi wabwino, kotero kuti kuyesetsa kukhala wangwiro sikungatheke, psychotherapist ikuyembekezera ntchito yake. — Tiye tione zimene umadzidzudzula nazo, zimene sukonda za iwe mwini. Ganizilani makhalidwe oipa. Ndiyeno ganizirani momwe zingakhalire mutaziwona ngati zomwe mukuyenera kukhala nazo. Mutha kuchitenga ngati gawo lanu - munthu wopanda ungwiro yemwe moyo wake uli wodzaza ndi zokwera ndi zotsika.
Chitani njirayi osati ngati chida chodzidzudzula, koma ngati chida chozindikiritsa, chifundo ndi kumvetsetsa.
Kenako Leahy akuitana owerenga kuganiza kuti ali ndi khalidwe linalake loipa. Mwachitsanzo, kuti iye ndi wotayika, wakunja, wopenga, wonyansa. Tiyerekeze kuti mumaganiza kuti nthawi zina mumakhala wotopetsa. M’malo molimbana nazo, bwanji osavomereza? Inde, ndikhoza kukhala wotopetsa kwa ena, koma pali zinthu zambiri zosangalatsa pamoyo wanga.
Kuti muchite izi, gwiritsani ntchito tebulo, lomwe wolemba adatcha izi: "Ndingapirire bwanji ngati zitapezeka kuti ndili ndi makhalidwe oipa."
Kumanzere, lembani zomwe mukuganiza za mikhalidwe ndi machitidwe anu. Pakatikati, onani ngati pali chowonadi m'malingaliro awa. M'gawo lakumanja, tchulani zifukwa zomwe mikhalidwe iyi ndi machitidwe akadalibe vuto lalikulu kwa inu - pambuyo pake, muli ndi mikhalidwe ina yambiri ndipo mutha kuchita zinthu zosiyanasiyana.
Mutha kukumana ndi zovuta panthawi yodzaza. Anthu ena amaganiza kuti kuvomereza makhalidwe athu oipa ndikofanana ndi kudzidzudzula, ndipo tebulo lomalizidwa lidzakhala chitsimikiziro chomveka bwino chakuti timadziganizira tokha molakwika. Koma m’pofunikanso kukumbukira kuti ndife opanda ungwiro ndipo aliyense ali ndi makhalidwe oipa.
Ndipo chinthu chinanso: samalirani njirayi osati ngati chida chodzidzudzula, koma ngati chida chozindikiritsa, chifundo ndi kumvetsetsa. Ndiiko komwe, tikamakonda mwana, timazindikira ndi kuvomereza zolakwa zake. Tiyeni, kwa kanthawi, tikhale ana otere kwa ife eni. Yakwana nthawi yoti mudzisamalire.
Gwero: Robert Leahy "Njira za Cognitive Psychotherapy" (Peter, 2020).