“Raphaël anabadwa pa Marichi 21, 2020. Uyu ndi mwana wanga woyamba. Masiku ano, ndidakali m'chipinda cha amayi oyembekezera, chifukwa mwana wanga amadwala matenda a jaundice, omwe panopa sakudutsa ngakhale akulandira chithandizo. Sindinadikire kuti ndifike kunyumba, ngakhale pano zonse zidayenda bwino komanso chisamaliro chinali chachikulu. Sindikuyembekezera kupeza abambo a Raphael, omwe sangathe kubwera kudzatichezera chifukwa cha mliri wa Covid komanso kutsekeredwa m'ndende.
Ndinasankha mulingo wachitatu woyembekezera chifukwa ndimadziwa kuti ndikhala ndi pakati pazovuta zina, chifukwa cha thanzi. Choncho ndinapindula poyang'anitsitsa mosamala. Pamene vuto la Coronavirus linayamba kufalikira ku France, ndinali pafupi masabata atatu mapeto asanafike, omwe ndinakonzekera March 3. Poyamba, ndinalibe nkhawa iliyonse, ndinadziuza kuti ndibereka monga momwe tinakonzera. , ndi mnzanga pambali panga, ndi kupita kwanu. Normal, chiyani. Koma mofulumira kwambiri, zinafika povuta pang’ono, mliriwo unali kukulirakulira. Aliyense anali kukamba za izo. Panthawiyi, ndinayamba kumva mphekesera, kuti ndizindikire kuti kaperekedwe kanga sikungapite monga momwe ndimaganizira.
Kubadwa kunalinganizidwa pa March 17. Koma mwana wanga sanafune kutuluka! Nditamva chilengezo chodziwika bwino cha kutsekeredwa m’ndende usiku watha, ndinadziuza ndekha kuti “Kutentha!” “. Tsiku lotsatira ndinaonana ndi dokotala woyembekezera. Kumeneko n’kumene anandiuza kuti bambo sangakhaleko. Kwa ine zinali zokhumudwitsa kwambiri, ngakhale kuti ndinamvetsetsa chisankho chimenecho. Dokotala anandiuza kuti akukonzekera zoyambitsa March 20. Anandivomereza kuti anali ndi mantha pang'ono kuti ndinabereka mlungu wotsatira, pamene mliriwo udzaphulika, kudzaza zipatala ndi osamalira. Chotero ndinapita kuchipinda cha amayi oyembekezera madzulo a March 19. Kumeneko, usiku, ndinayamba kutsekula m’mimba. Tsiku lotsatira masana, ananditengera kuchipinda chantchito. Ntchito inatenga pafupifupi maola 24 ndipo mwana wanga anabadwa usiku wa Marichi 20-21 pakati pausiku. Kunena zowona, sindinamve kuti "coronavirus" idandikhudza pakubadwa kwanga, ngakhale zimakhala zovuta kuti ndifananize popeza anali mwana wanga woyamba. Iwo anali abwino kwambiri. Iwo anangoifulumizitsa izo pang’ono, osati mogwirizana ndi zimenezo, koma mogwirizana ndi nkhani za thanzi langa, ndi chifukwa chakuti ine ndiri pa mankhwala ochepetsa magazi, ndipo ndinayenera kuwaletsa iwo kuti abereke. Ndipo kuti izi zipite mofulumira, ndinali ndi oxytocin. Kwa ine, chotsatira chachikulu cha mliri pa kubadwa kwanga, makamaka kuti ndinali ndekha kuyambira pachiyambi mpaka kumapeto. Zinandimvetsa chisoni. Ndidazunguliridwa ndi gulu lachipatala, koma mnzanga kunalibe. Ndili ndekha kuchipinda chogwirira ntchito, foni yanga sinayimbe, sindinathe ngakhale kumudziwitsa. Zinali zovuta. Mwamwayi, gulu lachipatala, azamba, madokotala, anali abwino kwambiri. Palibe nthawi yomwe ndidamva kuti ndasiyidwa, kapena kuyiwalika chifukwa panali zovuta zina zokhudzana ndi mliriwu.
Zachidziwikire, njira zodzitetezera zidakhazikika pakubereka kwanga: aliyense amavala chigoba, amasamba m'manja nthawi zonse. Ine ndekha ndinavala chigoba pamene ndinali ndi epidural, ndiye pamene ndinayamba kukankha ndipo mwana akutuluka. Koma chigobacho sichinanditsimikizire kwathunthu, tikudziwa bwino kuti chiwopsezo cha zero kulibe, komanso kuti majeremusi amazungulira. Kumbali ina, ndinalibe mayeso a Covid-19: Ndinalibe zizindikiro ndipo ndinalibe chifukwa chodera nkhawa, kuposa wina aliyense. Zowona ndidafunsapo kale, ndidachita mantha pang'ono, ndikudziuza kuti "koma ndikachigwira, ndimupase mwanayo?" “. Mwamwayi zonse zimene ndinawerenga zinandilimbikitsa. Ngati simuli "pangozi", sizowopsa kwa mayi wamng'ono kusiyana ndi munthu wina. Aliyense anali wopezeka kwa ine, watcheru, komanso wowonekera poyera pazomwe ndimapatsidwa. Kumbali ina, ndinadzimva kuti anali otanganitsidwa ndi chiyembekezo cha funde la anthu odwala lomwe linali pafupi kufika. Ndili ndi malingaliro akuti alibe antchito, chifukwa pali odwala pakati pa ogwira ntchito m'chipatala, anthu omwe sangathe kubwera pazifukwa zina. Ndinamva kupsinjika uku. Ndipo ndine womasuka kwambiri kuti ndinabereka pa tsiku limenelo, “funde” limeneli lisanafike kuchipatala. Ndikhoza kunena kuti ndinali ndi "mwayi patsoka langa", monga akunena.
Tsopano, koposa zonse sindingathe kudikira kuti ndifike kunyumba. Apa, ndizovuta kwa ine m'maganizo. Ndiyenera kuthana ndi matenda a mwanayo ndekha. Maulendo ndi oletsedwa. Mnzanga akumva kuti ali kutali ndi ife, nayenso zimamuvuta, sakudziwa choti achite kuti atithandize. Inde, ndikhala nthawi yayitali, chofunikira ndichakuti mwana wanga achire. Madokotala anandiuza kuti: “Covid kapena ayi Covid, tili ndi odwala ndipo tikuwasamalira, osadandaula, tikukuchitirani. Zinandilimbitsa mtima, ndikuwopa kuti ndingapemphedwe kuti ndipite kukakonza milandu yayikulu yokhudzana ndi mliriwu. Koma ayi, sindichoka mpaka mwana wanga atachira. M’chipinda cha amayi oyembekezera, muli bata kwambiri. Sindimaona dziko lakunja ndi nkhawa zake za mliriwu. Ndikumva ngati kulibe kachilombo komweko! M'makonde, sitikumana ndi aliyense. Palibe maulendo abanja. Malo odyera atsekedwa. Amayi onse amakhala m'zipinda zawo ndi ana awo. Ziri monga choncho, muyenera kuvomereza.
Ndikudziwanso kuti ngakhale kunyumba sizingachitike. Tiyenera kudikira! Makolo athu amakhala m'madera ena, ndipo pokhala m'ndende, sitikudziwa kuti adzatha liti kukumana ndi Raphael. Ndinkafuna kupita kukawona agogo anga aakazi, omwe akudwala kwambiri, kuti ndiwadziwitse mwana wanga. Koma zimenezo sizingatheke. M'nkhani ino, zonse ndi zosiyana kwambiri. ” Alice, amayi ake a Raphaël, masiku 4
Mafunso ndi Frédérique Payen