Kugonana kumatha kukhala munjira zosiyanasiyana - ngati banja kapena ndi munthu wosamudziwa, mwachikondi kapena modyera nyama - kutengera chifukwa chochitiracho. Chilakolako chogonana kuti chikwaniritse chikhumbo kapena chosowa chogonana kuti chikhale ndi chilakolako, zolimbikitsazo zimasiyana malinga ndi anthu komanso malingana ndi mphindiyo.

Kodi munthuyo amafunikiradi kugonana?

Kupatula nkhani ya wokonda chiwerewere, yemwe zikhumbo zake zimayang'anira moyo watsiku ndi tsiku, mkazi kapena mwamunayo alibe chosowa chofunikira chogonana. Amatha kusunga nthawi yayitali osamwa popanda kuwononga thanzi lake kapena thanzi lake. Kopanda manyazi, wogonana, yemwe samakopeka ndi aliyense, sangagonanepo. Komabe, mphamvu ya mahomoni, chilakolako chofuna munthu kapena chikondi chimamupangitsa munthu kukhala ndi chidwi chofuna kugonana.

Kwaniritsani chilakolako chanu chogonana, kuti muthane ndi kukhumudwa

Ngati chilakolako chogonana sichofunikira, amuna kapena akazi ambiri nthawi zina amakhala ndi chilimbikitso chosasinthika. Chilakolako chikangolimbikitsidwa, zimakhala zovuta kuti musamapite kumapeto osakhumudwitsidwa. Momwemonso, chilakolako chogonana chimatha kuyambitsa kugonana kapena kuseweretsa maliseche mpaka pamalungo. Nthawi zina, nawonso, nthawi yayitali yodziletsa imakhala kwa iwo omwe akukhumudwitsidwa mwakuthupi, mpaka munthuyo amachita zachiwerewere osakhudzidwa kwenikweni. Izi zimakhudza makamaka amuna omwe kupanga testosterone ndikofunikira.

Pamapeto pake, zimakhala zovuta kusankha pakati pa kufuna kugonana ndi kufuna kugonana. Wogwiritsira ntchito chiwerewere ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha kufunika kogonana pomwe munthu wamiseche akuwonetsa kuti kudziletsa kulibe vuto. Ngati mahomoni, omwe ali ndi vuto lakuthupi, atha kukhala ndi gawo lofunikira pakufunika kogonana, zifukwa zamaganizidwe zomwe zimalimbikitsa kuchitapo kanthu kumangoyeserera sikelo ku chilakolako chosavuta chogonana. 

Ngakhale amuna amadziwika kuti amafuna kugonana nthawi zambiri komanso mosavuta, azimayi kumbali inayo amakhala ndi vuto lochepa logonana. Zina mwazifukwa zomwe zimalimbikitsa chidwi chamunthu chogonana chimaphatikizapo kukongola kwakuthupi, chidwi chofuna kusangalala, ndi chikondi. Ndi azimayi ochepa omwe amakhala ndi chilakolako chogonana chosagonjetseka, kupatula kufunitsitsa kukhala mayi komwe kumatha kudzetsa chilakolako chogonana.

Momwemonso, zimachitika kuti mkazi safuna kugonana. Matenda a Hormonal, lassitude kwa mnzake, kuwonongeka kwa chikhumbo choyambitsidwa ndi chizolowezi chomwe chimayikidwa mwa awiriwa kapena mavuto amunthu zomwe zimayambitsa kupsinjika ndi kuda nkhawa: zinthuzo ndizochulukirapo. Mwamwayi, pali njira zambiri zotsitsimutsira chilakolako chogonana. 

Kodi kugonana ndikumasilira munthu wina kapena kungangokhala chilimbikitso chomwe chingakhutiritse mnzanu "aliyense"?

Zonse zimatengera momwe zinthu zilili. Pomwe chilakolako chogonana chimayambitsidwa ndi chikondi kapena kukopa kwakuthupi, munthu yekhayo amene akumva zomwezo ndiye angakwaniritse zomwe amafuna. Kumbali inayi, ngati kuyendetsa kuli ndi mahomoni, choyambira chokhacho chimakhala chofunikira. Momwemonso pamene munthuyo amafuna kugonana makamaka - kuti akwaniritse zongopeka kapena kuwonetsa kuti akhoza kunyenga ndikusangalatsa - kufunikira kogonana kumathetsedwa pamalingaliro akuti ndi ndani, zomwe zili pamtima pazodandaula.