Nthawi zambiri zimachitika kuti munthu amakwatira ndipo posakhalitsa amazindikira kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wake amayamba kumukwiyitsa - ndithudi, osati nthawi zonse, koma nthawi zambiri kuposa momwe amayembekezera. M’nthano ndi m’mabuku achikondi, moyo wa m’banja ndi wosavuta komanso wosasamala, ndipo chimwemwe chimapitirira mpaka kalekale, popanda khama lililonse. Chifukwa chiyani izi sizichitika m'moyo weniweni?
Rabi Josef Richards moseketsa anapereka lingaliro lake la moyo waukwati kuti: “Anthu amatikwiyitsa. Pezani munthu amene amakukwiyitsani pang'ono ndikukwatira. "
Ukwati wachimwemwe umapereka lingaliro la chitonthozo ndi chisungiko, kugonana, mayanjano, chichirikizo, ndi lingaliro la chikhutiro. Ndikofunika kuti tisagwere mumsampha wa kukhulupirira chithunzithunzi cha ukwati chimene chikusonkhezeredwa ndi nthano, mafilimu achikondi, ndi mabuku achikondi. Zoyembekeza zosayembekezereka zimatipangitsa kudzimva ngati otayidwa.
Kuti muyamikire mikhalidwe yonse yabwino ya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi kuphunzira kuyamikira ukwati, mudzayenera kutsika kuchokera kumwamba kudza padziko lapansi. Pano pali tchati chothandizira kusintha malingaliro olakwika okhudza banja ndi kulimbikitsa maubwenzi.
Kodi muyenera kuyembekezera chiyani m'banja?
Zowonetsera zopanda pake
- Kusintha kwa moyo waukwati kudzakhala kosavuta komanso kosapweteka.
- Sindidzakhalanso wosungulumwa (wosungulumwa)
- Sindidzatopanso.
- Sitidzakangana.
- Iye (iye) asintha pakapita nthawi, ndendende momwe ine ndikufunira.
- Iye (iye) nthawi zonse amamvetsetsa popanda mawu zomwe ndikufuna komanso zomwe ndikufuna.
- M’banja, zonse ziyenera kugawidwa mofanana.
- Adzachita ntchito zapakhomo momwe ine ndikufunira.
- Kugonana kudzakhala kwakukulu nthawi zonse.
Zowona Zenizeni
- Kukwatiwa kumatanthauza kusintha kwakukulu m’moyo. Zidzatenga nthawi kuti tizolowere kukhalira limodzi komanso udindo watsopano wa mwamuna kapena mkazi.
- Munthu m'modzi sangathe kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu zonse zoyankhulirana. M’pofunika kupitiriza kukhala paubwenzi ndi ena.
- Inu, osati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndi amene mumayang'anira zomwe mumakonda komanso zosangalatsa.
- Mu ubale uliwonse wapamtima, mikangano imakhala yosapeŵeka. Mutha kuphunzira momwe mungawathetsere bwino.
- "Mukumva zomwe mukuwona." Simuyenera kuyembekezera kuti mutha kusintha zizolowezi zakale kapena zoyambira za mnzanu.
- Mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu sadziwa zimene zili mumtima mwanu. Ngati mukufuna kuti amvetse chinachake, lankhulani molunjika.
- Ndikofunika kuti muthe kupereka ndi kulandira ndi chiyamiko, osati kuyesa kugawana zonse mwangwiro "moona mtima" kuzinthu zing'onozing'ono.
- Mosakayika, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ali ndi zizoloŵezi zake ndi malingaliro ake ponena za ntchito zapakhomo. Ndibwino kungovomereza.
- Kugonana kwabwino ndi kofunikira m'banja, koma musayembekezere chinthu chodabwitsa paubwenzi uliwonse. Zambiri zimadalira luso la okwatirana kuyankhula momasuka pankhaniyi.
Ngati mugawana nawo malingaliro omwe alembedwa mu gawo losatheka la tebulo, simuli nokha - malingaliro otere ndi ofala. M’chizoloŵezi changa cha psychotherapeutic, kaŵirikaŵiri ndimawona kuwononga kumene iwo amachita ku moyo wabanja. Ndimaonanso mmene maubwenzi amakhalira bwino pakati pa okwatirana akatsikira padziko lapansi kuchokera kumwamba, kusiya ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka, ndi kuyamba kulolerana.
Lingaliro lakuti okwatirana ayenera kumvetsetsana popanda mawu ndi lovulaza kwambiri. Izi nthawi zambiri zimabweretsa kusamvana ndi zokumana nazo zowawa.
Mwachitsanzo, mkaziyo akuganiza kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani sachita zimene ndikufuna (kapena sakumvetsa maganizo anga). Sindiyenera kumufotokozera, amayenera kumvetsa yekha zonse.” Chotsatira chake, mkazi, wokhumudwa kuti wokondedwa wake sangathe kulingalira zomwe akufuna, amatulutsa kusakhutira kwake pa iye - mwachitsanzo, amanyalanyaza kapena kukana kugonana.
Kapena mwamuna amene wakwiyira mnzakeyo amayamba kumukalipira n’kuchokapo. Kukwiyitsa kumaunjikana ndikuwononga maubale.
Pouza wokondedwa wathu mwachindunji zakukhosi kwathu, zomwe tikufuna ndi zosowa zathu, timamvetsetsana bwino ndikulimbitsa ubale wathu.
Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati mkazi azindikira kuti mwamuna wake sadziwa zimene zili m’maganizo mwake? "Ngati ndikufuna kuti amvetse zomwe ndikuganiza ndikumverera komanso zomwe ndikufunikira, ndiyenera kumuuza," amazindikira ndipo adzamufotokozera zonse momveka bwino, koma panthawi imodzimodziyo mofatsa.
Tikamasiya maganizo opanda pake onena za ukwati n’kuika maganizo athu enieni, timaphunzira kulolerana kwambiri ndi mnzathu (kapena wa mnzathu) ndiponso timachititsa kuti banja lathu likhale lolimba komanso losangalala.
Za Katswiri: Marcia Naomi Berger ndi wothandizira mabanja.