Pa Ogasiti 2, 2018, alongo atatu a ku Khachaturian, Maria wa zaka 17, Angelina wazaka 18, ndi Krestina wazaka 19, anamangidwa chifukwa chopha bambo awo omwe anawamenya ndi kuwagwirira kwa zaka zambiri. Ndondomekoyi, yomwe ikuchitikabe, yagawanitsa anthu pawiri: ena amafuna chilango chokhwima kwa atsikana, ena akulira kuti awachitire chifundo. Malingaliro a systemic family psychotherapist Marina Travkova.
Otsatira awo ndi owatsatira amafuna kuti alongo amasulidwe. Chakudya changa chili ndi ndemanga zoganizira za amuna ndi akazi za momwe "tidzalungamitsira kupha." Kuti “akhoza kuthawa” ngati iye akunyoza. Kodi mungawalole bwanji kupita, komanso kupereka chithandizo chamaganizo.
Takhala tikudziwa kwa nthawi yayitali kuti «bwanji osachoka» ndi funso losayankhidwa. Osati nthawi yomweyo komanso nthawi zambiri ndi thandizo lakunja kapena pambuyo pa "udzu wotsiriza", pamene simukumenyedwa, koma mwana wanu, amayi akuluakulu omwe ali ndi banja lotukuka amasiya ogwirira awo: makolo achikondi ndi kudziimira asanakwatirane.
Chifukwa n'zosatheka kukhulupirira kuti munthu wokondedwa wanu, yemwe adanena kuti amamukonda, amasandulika kukhala amene nkhonya yake imawulukira pamaso panu. Ndipo pamene wozunzidwayo, modzidzimutsa, akuyang'ana yankho la funso la momwe izi zingamuchitikire nkomwe, wozunzayo amabwerera ndikupereka kufotokozera komwe kumagwirizana ndi moyo wovulazidwa: inu nokha muli ndi mlandu, mwabweretsa. ine pansi. Khalani mosiyana ndipo zonse zikhala bwino. Tiyeni tiyese. Ndipo msampha umatseka.
Zikuwoneka kwa wozunzidwayo kuti ali ndi lever, amangofunika kuigwiritsa ntchito moyenera. Ndipo komabe, pambuyo pa zonse, mapulani wamba, maloto, nyumba, ngongole zanyumba ndi ana. Ozunza ambiri amatsegula ndendende pamene azindikira kuti ali ogwirizana mokwanira. Ndipo, ndithudi, pali anthu ambiri ozungulira omwe angapereke "kukonza" chiyanjano. Kuphatikizapo, tsoka, akatswiri a zamaganizo.
“Amuna ali ndi malingaliro, amaonetsa mkwiyo chifukwa sadziwa momwe angasonyezere kusatetezeka ndi kusadzithandiza” — mwakumanapo ndi izi? Tsoka, ndikulephera kuzindikira kuti kusunga ubale kumaphatikizapo, koposa zonse, kudzipereka kuthetsa chiwawa. Ndipo ngakhale patakhala mikangano m’banja lomwe tinganene kuti n’lokopa, udindo wa nkhonya kumaso uli ndi womenya. Kodi umakhala ndi mkazi amene amakuputa? Chokani kwa iye. Koma izi sizikutanthauza kumenyedwa ndi kupha munthu. Choyamba letsani chiwawa, kenako ena onse. Ndi za akuluakulu.
Kodi mukuganiza kuti anawo sanamvetse kuti wamphamvu ndi ndani? Simunazindikire kuti thandizo silinabwere ndipo silibwera?
Tsopano ikani mwana pamalo ano. Makasitomala ambiri adandiuza kuti adaphunzira ali ndi zaka 7, 9, 12, atabwera koyamba kudzacheza ndi mnzawo, kuti samayenera kukuwa kapena kumenya m'banja. Ndiko kuti, mwana akamakula n’kumaganiza kuti ndi chimodzimodzi kwa aliyense. Simungathe kudzipusitsa, zimakupangitsani kumva chisoni, koma mumaganiza kuti zili choncho kulikonse, ndipo mumaphunzira kuzolowera. Kungopulumuka.
Kuti muzolowere, muyenera kudzipereka nokha, kuchokera kumalingaliro anu, omwe amafuula kuti zonsezi ndi zolakwika. Kusamvana kumayamba. Kodi mwamvapo mawu ochokera kwa akuluakulu: "Palibe, adandimenya, koma ndinakulira ngati munthu"? Awa ndi anthu omwe adalekanitsa mantha awo, zowawa zawo, mkwiyo wawo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri (koma izi siziri choncho kwa Khachaturian) wogwirira ndiye yekhayo amene amasamala za inu. Zimagunda, zimadumpha. Ndipo pamene palibe kopita, mudzaphunzira kuzindikira zabwino ndi kusesa zoipa pansi pa kapeti. Koma, tsoka, sizipita kulikonse. Mumaloto owopsa, psychosomatics, kudzivulaza - zoopsa.
Dziko "lolungama": chifukwa chiyani timadzudzula ozunzidwa?
Kotero, mkazi wamkulu yemwe ali ndi makolo okonda kwambiri "m'mbiri", yemwe ali ndi kwinakwake, sangathe kuchita izi nthawi yomweyo. Wamkulu! Yemwe anali ndi moyo wosiyana! Achibale ndi abwenzi omwe amamuuza kuti: "Choka." Kodi maluso oterowo angabwere mwadzidzidzi kuchokera kwa ana omwe akukula, amawona chiwawa ndi kuyesa kuzolowera? Wina akulemba kuti pa chithunzi akukumbatira atate awo ndikumwetulira. Ndikukutsimikizirani, ndipo mudzachitanso chimodzimodzi, makamaka ngati mutadziwa kuti mukakana ndiye kuti mukuwuluka. Kudziteteza.
Komanso, kuzungulira anthu. Zomwe, mwakukhala chete kapena kuyang'ana kumbali, zikuwonekeratu kuti «yekha». Nkhani za m’banja. Amayi a atsikanawo analemba mawu otsutsa mwamuna wake, ndipo sizinathe ndi kalikonse. Kodi mukuganiza kuti anawo sanamvetse kuti wamphamvu ndi ndani? Simunazindikire kuti thandizo silinabwere ndipo silibwera?
Psychological rehability pankhaniyi sizinthu zapamwamba, koma kufunikira kotheratu.
Kalulu amathamanga kuchokera ku nkhandwe momwe angathere, koma, atathamangitsidwa pakona, amamenya ndi mapazi ake. Mukaukiridwa ndi mpeni mumsewu, simudzalankhula mokweza, mudzadziteteza. Ngati inu kumenyedwa ndi kugwiriridwa tsiku ndi tsiku ndipo analonjeza kuchita chimodzimodzi mawa, padzafika tsiku pamene «kusesa pansi pamphasa» chabe sikungagwire ntchito. Kulibe kopita, anthu achoka kale, aliyense akuwopa abambo awo, ndipo palibe amene angayerekeze kukangana. Zimatsalira kuti mudziteteze. Chifukwa chake, mlanduwu kwa ine ndikudzitchinjiriza koonekeratu.
Psychological rehability pankhaniyi sizinthu zapamwamba, koma kufunikira kotheratu. Kupha munthu wina ndi chinthu chachilendo. Atatalikirana kwa zaka zambiri, ululu ndi ukali zinafika ndikuphimba, ndipo munthuyo sakanatha kupirira yekha. Palibe aliyense wa ife akadakhoza.
Zili ngati msilikali wankhondo akubwerera kuchokera kumalo ankhondo: koma msilikaliyo anali ndi moyo wamtendere, ndiyeno nkhondo. Anawa anakulira m’nkhondo. Akufunikabe kukhulupirira moyo wamtendere ndi kuphunzira momwe angakhalire. Ili ndi vuto lina lalikulu. Mumayamba kumvetsetsa chifukwa chake m'maiko ambiri ozunza amakakamizika kupita kumagulu othandizira zamaganizo. Ambiri a iwo adakuliranso "pankhondo" ndipo sadziwa momwe angakhalire "m'dziko." Koma vuto limeneli liyenera kuthetsedwa osati ndi anthu amene amawamenya, osati akazi awo, ndiponso osati ndi ana awo. Mabungwe aboma anali ndi njira zambiri zopulumutsira moyo wa Khachaturian.
Akafunsidwa chifukwa chimene zimenezi sizinachitike, mwina n’koipa kwambiri kuyankha kuposa kuwaimba mlandu anawo ndi kuwauza kuti ayesetse kudzipulumutsa. Yankho loona mtima la funsoli limatisiya opanda chitetezo ndi mantha. Ndipo “zolakwa zake” zimathandiza kukhulupirira kuti munangoyenera kuchita zinthu mosiyana, ndipo palibe chimene chikanachitika. Ndipo timasankha chiyani?