Kuthamanga kwa moyo, ntchito, kuyenda kwa nkhani ndi chidziwitso, malonda omwe amatilimbikitsa kugula mofulumira. Zonsezi sizikuthandizira mtendere ndi mpumulo. Koma ngakhale m’sitima yapansi panthaka yodzaza anthu, mungapeze chisumbu chamtendere. Wolemba nkhani wa Psychotherapist and Psychologies Christophe André akufotokoza mmene angachitire zimenezi.
Psychology: Kodi bata ndi chiyani?
Christoph Andre: Ndichisangalalo chodekha, chophatikizapo zonse. Kudekha ndi kutengeka kosangalatsa, ngakhale kuti sikuli kozama ngati chimwemwe. Imatimiza mumkhalidwe wamtendere wamkati ndi wogwirizana ndi dziko lakunja. Timakhala ndi mtendere, koma sitichoka mwa ife tokha. Timamva kudalirana, kulumikizana ndi dziko, kuvomerezana nalo. Timamva ngati ndife ake.
Kodi kupeza bata?
KA: Nthawi zina zimawonekera chifukwa cha chilengedwe. Mwachitsanzo, pamene tinkakwera pamwamba pa phiri ndi kulingalira za malo, kapena pamene tikusirira kulowa kwa dzuŵa… m'galimoto yapansi panthaka yodzaza ndi anthu mwadzidzidzi timagwidwa ndi bata. Nthawi zambiri, kumverera kwachidule kumeneku kumabwera pamene moyo umamasula pang'ono kugwira kwake, ndipo ifeyo timavomereza momwe zinthu zilili. Kuti mukhale bata, muyenera kutsegula mpaka pano. Zimakhala zovuta ngati malingaliro athu apita mozungulira, ngati takhazikika mubizinesi kapena opanda malingaliro. Mulimonsemo, bata, monga malingaliro onse abwino, sangamveke nthawi zonse. Koma si cholinganso. Timafuna kukhala odekha nthawi zambiri, kutalikitsa malingalirowa ndi kusangalala nawo.
Ndipo chifukwa cha ichi tidzayenera kupita ku skete, kukhala hermits, kusiya ndi dziko?
KA: Kudekha kumapereka ufulu wina kudziko lapansi. Timasiya kuyesetsa kuchitapo kanthu, kukhala nazo komanso kulamulira, koma timakhala omvera zomwe zatizungulira. Sizokhudza kubwerera mu "nsanja" yanu, koma zokhudzana ndi dziko lapansi. Ndi zotsatira za kukhalapo kwamphamvu, kosatsutsika mu zomwe moyo wathu uli pano. Ndikosavuta kupeza bata pamene dziko lokongola litizungulira, osati pamene dziko limatitsutsa. Ndipo komabe mphindi za bata zitha kupezeka m'chipwirikiti chatsiku ndi tsiku. Iwo omwe amadzipatsa nthawi yoti ayime ndikuwunika zomwe zikuchitika kwa iwo, kuti afufuze zomwe akukumana nazo, posachedwa adzapeza bata.
Kudekha nthawi zambiri kumayendera limodzi ndi kusinkhasinkha. Kodi iyi ndiyo njira yokhayo?
KA: Palinso pemphero, kusinkhasinkha za tanthauzo la moyo, kuzindikira kwathunthu. Nthawi zina ndikwanira kuphatikiza ndi malo odekha, kuyimitsa, kusiya kuthamangitsa zotsatira, zilizonse zomwe zingakhale, kuyimitsa zilakolako zanu. Ndipo, ndithudi, sinkhasinkha. Pali njira ziwiri zazikulu zosinkhasinkha. Yoyamba imaphatikizapo kuika maganizo, kuchepetsa chidwi. Muyenera kuyang'ana kwambiri pa chinthu chimodzi: pa kupuma kwanu, pa mantra, pa pemphero, pamoto wa kandulo ... Ndipo chotsani m'chidziwitso chirichonse chomwe sichili cha chinthu chosinkhasinkha. Njira yachiwiri ndikutsegula chidwi chanu, yesetsani kukhalapo m'chilichonse - mu kupuma kwanu, kumverera kwa thupi, kumveka mozungulira, m'malingaliro ndi malingaliro onse. Uku ndikuzindikira kwathunthu: m'malo mochepetsa chidwi changa, ndimayesetsa kutsegula malingaliro anga ku chilichonse chomwe chili pafupi nane nthawi iliyonse.
Vuto la kutengeka mtima kwambiri n’lakuti timakhala akapolo awo, timafanana nawo, ndipo amatidya.
Nanga bwanji za maganizo oipa?
KA: Kuchepetsa kukhumudwa ndi chinthu chofunikira kuti mukhale bata. Ku St. Anne's, tikuwonetsa odwala momwe angakhazikitsire malingaliro awo poyang'ana nthawi yomwe ilipo. Timawapemphanso kuti asinthe maganizo awo pa maganizo opweteka, osati kuyesa kuwalamulira, koma kungowavomereza ndipo motero kusokoneza mphamvu zawo. Kaŵirikaŵiri vuto la kutengeka mtima kolimba limakhala lakuti timakhala akapolo awo, timagwirizana nawo, ndipo amatidya. Choncho timauza odwala kuti, “Lolani kuti maganizo anu akhale m’maganizo mwanu, koma musawalole kuti atengere maganizo anu onse. Tsegulani zonse malingaliro ndi thupi kudziko lakunja, ndipo chikoka chamalingaliro awa chidzasungunuka m'malingaliro otseguka komanso otakasuka.
Kodi n’kwanzeru kufunafuna mtendere m’dziko lamakonoli ndi mavuto ake osalekeza?
KA: Ndikuganiza kuti ngati sitisamala za mkati mwathu, ndiye kuti sitidzavutika kwambiri, komanso timakhala oganiza bwino, opupuluma. Pamene, posamalira dziko lathu lamkati, timakhala athunthu, achilungamo, timalemekeza ena, timawamvera. Ndife odekha komanso odzidalira. Ndife omasuka kwambiri. Kuonjezera apo, bata limatithandiza kukhalabe ndi gulu lamkati, mosasamala kanthu za nkhondo zomwe tiyenera kumenyana nazo. Atsogoleri onse akuluakulu, monga Nelson Mandela, Gandhi, Martin Luther King, ayesera kupyola zomwe adachita; iwo anaona chithunzi chachikulu, anadziwa kuti chiwawa chimabweretsa chiwawa, chiwawa, kuvutika. Kudekha kumateteza kuthekera kwathu kukwiyira ndi kukwiya, koma m'njira yothandiza komanso yoyenera.
Koma kodi n’kofunika kwambiri kuti munthu akhale wosangalala kuposa kukana ndi kuchitapo kanthu?
KA: Mutha kuganiza kuti chimodzi chikutsutsana ndi chinzake! Ndikuganiza kuti zimakhala ngati kutulutsa mpweya komanso kutulutsa mpweya. Pali nthawi zomwe ndikofunikira kukana, kuchita, kumenya nkhondo, ndi nthawi zina zomwe muyenera kumasuka, kuvomereza zomwe zikuchitika, ingoyang'anani momwe mukumvera. Izi sizikutanthauza kusiya, kusiya, kapena kugonjera. Povomereza, ngati kumveka bwino, pali magawo awiri: kuvomereza zenizeni ndikuzisunga, ndikuchitapo kanthu kuti zisinthe. Ntchito yathu ndi "kuyankha" ku zomwe zikuchitika m'maganizo ndi m'mitima yathu, osati "kuchita" monga momwe zimafunira. Ngakhale kuti anthu amatiuza kuti tichitepo kanthu, tisankhepo nthawi yomweyo, mofanana ndi ogulitsa amene amafuula kuti: “Ngati simugula izi, ndiye kuti palibe usiku uno kapena mawa!” Dziko lathu likuyesera kutigwira, kutikakamiza nthawi zonse kuganiza kuti nkhaniyo ndi yofulumira. Kudekha ndiko kusiya changu chabodza. Kudekha sikuthawika ku zenizeni, koma chida chanzeru ndi kuzindikira.