Zamkatimu
Chisoni chinachitika m'mabanja a Diana Shurygina ndi Sergei Semenov. Diana adapulumuka chiwawacho ndipo adazunzidwa, Sergei adapezeka kuti ndi wolakwa ndipo akutumikira m'ndende. Tsoka la achinyamata limadzutsa mafunso padziko lonse lapansi: chifukwa chiyani izi zimachitika, anthu amatani nazo, ndi zomwe zingachitike kuti izi zisachitike kwa ana athu. Katswiri wa zamaganizo Yulia Zakharova akufotokoza.
Kumayambiriro kwa chaka cha 2016, wazaka 17 wa ku Ulyanovsk, dzina lake Diana Shurygina, anadzudzula Sergei Semenov wazaka 21 wa kugwiriridwa. Khotilo linapeza kuti Semyonov ndi wolakwa ndipo anamuweruza zaka 8 m'malo olamulidwa ndi boma (pambuyo pakuchita apilo, nthawiyo inachepetsedwa kukhala zaka zitatu ndi miyezi itatu ya ulamuliro wamba). Achibale ndi abwenzi a Sergei sakhulupirira kulakwa kwake. Mu chithandizo chake, wotchuka VKontakte, pempho latsegulidwa kuti lisayine. Zina owerengeka m'tauni yaying'ono amatsutsana ndi kudzudzulidwa (zonena za wozunzidwayo) ndipo amathandizira Diana.
Mlanduwu ndi umodzi mwa ambiri, koma adayamba kukambirana pambuyo pa magawo angapo a pulogalamu ya "Alekeni alankhule". Chifukwa chiyani anthu masauzande ambiri amatenga nawo mbali pazokambirana zomwe sizili zokhudzana ndi iwo enieni, ndikukhala ndi nthawi kuyesa kulingalira nkhaniyi?
Timakhala ndi chidwi ndi zochitika zomwe zingakhale ndi zina, ngakhale zongoyerekeza, zokhudzana ndi ife tokha. Timadziwonetsera tokha ndi ngwazi za nkhaniyi, timawamvera chisoni ndipo sitikufuna kuti izi zichitike kwa ife ndi okondedwa athu.
Tikufuna dziko lotetezeka kwa mwana wathu - lomwe amphamvu sagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo
Wina amamvera chisoni Sergey: bwanji ngati izi zichitika kwa mnzanga wina? Ndi m'bale? Ndi ine? Anapita kuphwando ndipo anatsekeredwa m’ndende. Ena amadziyika okha m'malo a Diana: momwe angaiwale zomwe zidachitika ndikukhala moyo wabwinobwino?
Mikhalidwe yoteroyo kumlingo wakutiwakuti imatithandiza kulinganiza chidziŵitso chathu cha dziko. Timafuna zodziwikiratu, tikufuna kulamulira moyo wathu ndikumvetsetsa zomwe tiyenera kupewa kuti tipewe mavuto.
Pali ena amene amaganizira mmene makolo a anawo akumvera. Ena adziyika okha m'malo mwa makolo a Sergei: tingateteze bwanji ana athu? Nanga bwanji ngati atakokeredwa pabedi ndi mkazi wachinyengo yemwe anapezeka kuti ndi wamng’ono? Momwe mungawafotokozere kuti mawu akuti «ayi», onenedwa ndi mnzanu nthawi iliyonse, ndi chizindikiro kuti asiye? Kodi mwanayo amamvetsa kuti sikoyenera kugonana ndi mtsikana amene wangodziwana naye kwa maola angapo?
Ndipo choyipa kwambiri: bwanji ngati mwana wanga angagwirire mtsikana yemwe amamukonda? Ndiye ndalera chilombo? Ndizosatheka kuganiza za izo.
Kodi tawafotokozera ana malamulo amasewera mokwanira, atimvetsetsa, amatsatira malangizo athu?
Ambiri atha kudziyika okha m'malo mwa makolo a Diana: bwanji ngati mwana wanga atapezeka kuti ali pagulu la amuna akuluakulu oledzera? Nanga bwanji ngati wamwa, kulephera kudziletsa, ndipo wina wamudyera masuku pamutu? Kapena mwinamwake akufuna chibwenzi, amalingalira molakwika mkhalidwewo ndi kulowa m’mavuto? Ndipo ngati iye amaputa mwamuna, osamvetsetsa zomwe zingachitike?
Tikufuna dziko lotetezeka kwa mwana wathu, lomwe anthu amphamvu sangagwiritse ntchito mphamvu zawo. Koma nkhani zankhani zikunena zosiyana: dziko silili lotetezeka. Kodi wozunzidwayo angatonthozedwe chifukwa cholondola ngati zomwe zinachitika sizingasinthidwenso?
Timalera ana ndikuwalamulira mocheperapo chaka chilichonse: amakula, amakhala odziimira okha. Pamapeto pake, ichi ndi cholinga chathu - kulera anthu odzidalira omwe angathe kuthana ndi moyo paokha. Koma kodi tinawafotokozera bwino malamulo a masewerawo, kodi anatimvetsa, kodi amatsatira malangizo athu? Kuwerenga nkhani zoterezi, timamvetsetsa: ayi, osati nthawi zonse.
Mikhalidwe ngati imeneyi imavumbula mantha athu. Timayesetsa kudziteteza ndi okondedwa athu ku tsoka, timachita zonse zomwe tingathe kuti tsoka lisachitike. Komabe, mosasamala kanthu za kuyesetsa kwathu, mbali zina sitingathe kuzilamulira. Ndife otetezeka makamaka kwa ana athu.
Ndiyeno timamva nkhawa komanso opanda mphamvu: tikuchita zonse zomwe tingathe, koma palibe zitsimikizo kuti zomwe zinachitika kwa Semyonovs ndi Shurygins sizidzatichitikira ife ndi okondedwa athu. Ndipo sizokhudza msasa womwe tilimo - Diana kapena Sergei. Tikamalowa m’nkhani zochititsa chidwi ngati zimenezi, tonse timakhala mumsasa umodzi: tikulimbana ndi kupanda mphamvu komanso nkhawa.
Timaona kufunika kochita chinachake. Timapita ku Net, kufunafuna chabwino ndi cholakwika, kuyesa kuwongolera dziko lapansi, kuti likhale losavuta, lomveka komanso lodziwikiratu. Koma ndemanga zathu pansi pa zithunzi za Diana ndi Sergey sizingapangitse dziko kukhala lotetezeka. Bowo muchitetezo chathu silingathe kudzazidwa ndi ndemanga zokwiya.
Koma pali chosankha: tikhoza kukana kumenyana. Zindikirani kuti sizinthu zonse zomwe zingathe kulamuliridwa, ndikukhala ndi moyo, pozindikira kuti pali kusatsimikizika, kupanda ungwiro, kusatetezeka, kusadziŵika bwino padziko lapansi. Nthawi zina zomvetsa chisoni zimachitika. Ana amalakwitsa zinthu zosaneneka. Ndipo ngakhale atayesetsa kwambiri, sitingathe kuwateteza nthawi zonse ku chilichonse padziko lapansi ndikudziteteza tokha.
Kuvomereza chowonadi chotere ndi malingaliro otere ndizovuta kwambiri kuposa kuyankha, sichoncho? Koma ndiye palibe chifukwa chothamangira kulikonse, kumenyana ndi kutsimikizira.
Koma chochita? Kuwononga nthawi ndi moyo pazinthu zomwe zili zofunika komanso zamtengo wapatali kwa ife, pazinthu zosangalatsa ndi zokonda, pa okondedwa awo ndi okondedwa omwe tikuyesera kuwateteza.
Musachepetse kulankhulana kulamulira ndi khalidwe
Nawa malangizo othandiza.
1. Muuzeni mwana wanu kuti akamakula komanso akayamba kudziimira payekha, m’pamenenso amakhala ndi udindo wodziteteza. Kumwa mowa ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo, kupumula mu kampani yosadziwika ndizo zonse zoopsa. Iye, osati wina aliyense, tsopano ayenera kuyang’ana kuti awone ngati walephera kulamulira, ngati chilengedwe chili chosungika.
2. Ganizirani za udindo wa wachinyamata. Ubwana umatha, ndipo ufulu umabwera ndi udindo pa zochita za munthu. Zosankha zolakwika zimatha kukhala ndi zotulukapo zowopsa, zosasinthika ndikusokoneza kwambiri njira yamoyo.
3. Kambiranani ndi wachinyamata wanu za kugonana
Kugonana ndi anthu osawadziwa sikungokhala kwachiwerewere, komanso koopsa. Zingayambitse matenda, chiwawa, chinyengo, mimba yosakonzekera.
4. Mufotokozereni wachinyamata malamulo amasewera: munthu ali ndi ufulu wokana kugonana nthawi iliyonse. Ngakhale kukhumudwa ndi kuipidwa, mawu oti "ayi" nthawi zonse ayenera kukhala chowiringula choletsa kugonana. Ngati mawu awa samveka, omwe amawonedwa ngati gawo la masewerawo, osanyalanyazidwa, pamapeto pake angayambitse chigawenga.
5. Khazikitsani chitsanzo chaumwini cha khalidwe labwino ndi lotetezeka kwa achinyamata - iyi idzakhala mkangano wabwino kwambiri.
6. Khalani ndi ubale wodalirika ndi mwana wanu. Musathamangire kuletsa ndi kutsutsa. Choncho mudzadziwa zambiri za mmene ana amathera nthawi komanso amene amacheza nawo. Perekani chithandizo kwa mwana wanu wachinyamata: ayenera kudziwa kuti mudzayesetsa kumuthandiza ngati akumana ndi vuto.
7. Kumbukirani, simungathe kudziwiratu ndikuwongolera chilichonse. Yesani kuvomereza. Ana ali ndi ufulu wolakwitsa, tsoka likhoza kuchitika kwa aliyense.
Kulankhulana kwanu kusakhale kuchepetsedwa kokha ku ulamuliro ndi makhalidwe abwino. Muzithera nthawi pamodzi. Kambiranani zochitika zosangalatsa, kuonera limodzi mafilimu, kusangalala kulankhulana — ana amakula mofulumira kwambiri.
“Tili ndi chikhalidwe chogwiririra m’dera lathu”
Evgeny Osin, katswiri wa zamaganizo:
Nkhaniyi ikufunika kufufuzidwa mozama komanso mozama tisanatsimikize zomwe zidachitika komanso amene adayambitsa. Timayesetsa kufewetsa zinthu mwa kutcha otenga nawo mbali ngati olakwira ndi ozunzidwa kuti tiyambe kumenyera choonadi, kuteteza mbali yomwe tikuwona kuti ndi yoyenera.
Koma maganizo pankhaniyi ndi onyenga. Ozunzidwa mumkhalidwewu - pazifukwa zosiyanasiyana - onse anali anyamata. Kukambitsirana mwachidwi zatsatanetsatane wa mbiri yawo ndikusintha kupita kwa munthu kumakhala kovutirapo kwambiri kuposa kuwathandiza.
Pokambitsirana mozungulira izi, malingaliro awiri akulimbana. Malinga ndi woyamba, mtsikanayo ndi amene ali ndi mlandu wa kugwiriridwa, yemwe poyamba adaputa mnyamatayo ndi khalidwe lake losasamala, ndiyeno adaphwanya moyo wake. Malinga ndi lingaliro lachiwiri, mnyamatayo ndi amene ali ndi mlandu, chifukwa muzochitika zotere mwamunayo ali ndi udindo pa chirichonse. Kuyesera kuchepetsa kwathunthu nkhani yeniyeni ya moyo ku izi kapena ndondomeko yosavuta yofotokozera, monga lamulo, idzalephera. Koma kufalikira kwa ndondomeko zimenezi kuli ndi zotsatirapo zofunika kwambiri kwa anthu onse.
Anthu ambiri m'dzikoli akamagawana ndikufalitsa mfundo yakuti "ali ndi mlandu", m'pamenenso tsogolo la amayiwa limakhala lomvetsa chisoni kwambiri.
Mfundo yoyamba ndi udindo wa otchedwa «kugwiririra chikhalidwe». Iye akusonyeza kuti mwamuna ndi cholengedwa chimene sichikhoza kulamulira zilakolako zake ndi chibadwa chake, ndipo mkazi amene amavala kapena kuchita zinthu zodzutsa chilakolako amapangitsa amuna kudziukira.
Simungakhulupirire umboni wa kulakwa kwa Sergei, koma ndikofunikanso kuletsa chikhumbo chofuna kudzudzula Diana pa chirichonse: tilibe chidziwitso chenichenicho cha zomwe zinachitika, koma kufalikira kwa malingaliro, malinga ndi zomwe wozunzidwayo akuwona. ndi "wolakwa", ndi yovulaza kwambiri komanso yowopsa kwa anthu. Ku Russia, amayi masauzande ambiri amagwiriridwa chaka chilichonse, ambiri mwa iwo, omwe akupeza kuti ali mumkhalidwe wovuta komanso wowawa kwambiri, sangalandire chitetezo choyenera kuchokera kwa apolisi ndipo amachotsedwa chithandizo cha anthu ndi okondedwa awo.
Pamene anthu ambiri m'dzikoli akugawana ndikufalitsa maganizo akuti "ndiye amene ali ndi mlandu", ndizomwe zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri za amayiwa. Tsoka ilo, njira yachikale iyi imatinyengerera ndi kuphweka kwake: mwina nkhani ya Diana ndi Sergey idadziwika bwino chifukwa imapereka mwayi wotsimikizira mfundo iyi.
Koma tiyenera kukumbukira kuti nthawi zambiri, mkazi sangateteze ufulu wake kusiyana ndi mwamuna. M'dziko lotukuka, udindo wa malingaliro, zikhumbo ndi zochita za munthu zimatengedwa ndi mutu wawo, osati ndi amene "angathe" iwo (ngakhale popanda kufuna). Chilichonse chomwe chidachitika pakati pa Diana ndi Sergey, musalole kukopeka ndi "chikhalidwe chogwiririra".