Malangizo atatu kwa amuna omwe amayamba chibwenzi ndi azimayi achichepere kuposa iwowo

Mabuku oterowo, omwe ali wamkulu kuposa iye, nthawi zambiri amakhala makona atatu achikondi, momwe mulinso akazi. Chifukwa chake, mabodza ndi kusakhulupirika nthawi zambiri amakumana ndi mkazi yemwe amasiyana naye zaka.

“Zifukwa zomwe zimachititsa amuna kukhala ndi chidwi ndi atsikana kaŵirikaŵiri sizimakhudzana ndi kugonana, koma ndi chikhumbo chozama cha kutsimikizira kuti ali mwamuna ndi nyonga ya mkati,” akutero katswiri wa zamaganizo Hugo Schweitzer. "Izi sizikutanthauza kuti akazi a msinkhu wofanana ndi osawoneka bwino, kungoti sangathe kutsimikizira mwamuna wokalamba, wokalamba kuti akadali wodzaza ndi mphamvu. Kuti tichite izi kwa anthu ena omwe adadutsa malire a unyamata, ndi mtsikana yekhayo yemwe ali ndi chonde yemwe angathe kukhala ndi mwayi watsopano wa moyo ndikutsimikizira kuti, monga zaka makumi awiri zapitazo, akadali ndi zambiri patsogolo.

Sindine psychotherapist kapena gerontologist, ndine mkazi yemwe adasudzulana atazindikira kuti mwamuna wake amandinyenga ndi mtsikana wamng'ono. Ndinakumana ndi zowawa komanso kugona usiku ndipo ndinapanga chisankho chothetsa ubale wanga ndi munthu amene ndimamukonda.

Papita zaka zoposa zisanu kuchokera nthawi imeneyo. Ubale wa mwamunayo ndi mbuye wake sunathe. Ndipo ngakhale kuti banja lathu silinachire, timalankhulanabe ndipo ndikudziwa zambiri za zochitika zake. Enanso amene ndikuwadziwa nawonso anakumanapo ndi zinthu zofanana ndi zimenezi, ndipo inenso ndikhoza kuwauza zimene ndaona.

Kotero, ngati ndinu mwamuna ndipo mukuyang'anizana ndi kusankha, apa pali malangizo atatu.

Langizo #1 - pangani malingaliro anu

Inde, pangani malingaliro anu! Zowonadi, kunena zowona, kunyamulidwa ndi bukuli, mudasiya mkazi wanu akusamalira ana, kunyumba ndi makolo okalamba kalekale. Zidzakhala zowona ngati mutapanga chisankho chomaliza ndikuchoka.

Sadzafunikanso kusamalira thanzi lanu, kukhululukira maganizo anu oipa ndi khalidwe lanu, zoyenera kwambiri kwa wachinyamata wopanduka. Khalani ndi wokondedwa wachinyamatayo ndipo muwone kuti adandaula mpaka liti chifukwa cha kuthamanga kwa magazi.

Langizo #2 - Osatengera malingaliro a anthu ena

Ngakhale mukuganiza kuti anzanu amakuchitirani nsanje, mumawawonetsa zovuta zanu ndi zofooka zanu. Msungwana watsopano yemwe ali ndi kalata yobadwa yomwe ikufanana ndi chaka chomwe mudamaliza sukulu kapena koleji amasonyeza kusatetezeka kwanu ndi chikhumbo cholowa m'madzi omwewo kawiri. Choncho adzalankhula za inu kumbuyo kwa maso anu.

Langizo #3 - Osadziimba mlandu

Nthaŵi ndi nthaŵi mudzazunzidwa ndi liwongo ndipo mudzayesa kupeza lingaliro la kudzilemekeza pamaso pa awo amene poyamba anakhulupirira zosankha zanu—ana anu. Zitha kukhala kuti simungakumane ndi kumvetsetsa, ndipo mfundo si yakuti mkazi wakale amakutsutsani.

Mwachionekere ana amakukondanibe, koma chotero sapiririka kukhala ndi malingaliro otaya ulemu kaamba ka atate awo, amene ulamuliro wawo unali wofunika kwambiri kwa iwo.

"Zili ngati ndi galimoto yatsopano yosilira, kumverera kwachilendo kumadutsa mofulumira kwambiri," mnzanga wina adavomereza kwa ine, yemwe adakumananso ndi mavuto a m'banja ndi amkati, omwe adayesa kuchiritsa ndi buku. "Tsopano ndamvetsetsa kuti ngati, ndikuyesetsa, ndikusintha china chake chachikale" m'malo mogula china chatsopano, mwina ndikhoza kukonza zambiri.

M’kupita kwa nthaŵi, zimene m’mikhalidwe yoteroyo nthaŵi zonse zimasemphana ndi munthu wachikulire, nthaŵi zambiri palibe chochita.