Kumveka kumatanthauza kulandira kuzindikira kuti munthu ndi wapadera, kutsimikiziridwa kuti alipo. Ichi mwina ndicho chikhumbo chofala masiku ano - koma nthawi yomweyo chowopsa kwambiri. Kodi tingatsimikize bwanji kuti tikumva phokoso lozungulira? Kodi kulankhula «kwenikweni»?
Sitinalankhulepo, kulankhula, kulemba zambiri. Pamodzi, kukangana kapena kupereka lingaliro, kudzudzula kapena kugwirizanitsa, ndipo payekhapayekha kufotokoza umunthu wawo, zosowa ndi zilakolako. Koma kodi pali kumva kuti tikumvedwadi? Osati nthawi zonse.
Pali kusiyana pakati pa zomwe timaganiza kuti tikunena ndi zomwe timanena; pakati pa zomwe wina amva ndi zomwe timaganiza kuti wamva. Kuonjezera apo, mu chikhalidwe chamakono, kumene kudziwonetsera nokha ndi chimodzi mwa ntchito zofunika kwambiri, ndipo liwiro ndi njira yatsopano ya maubwenzi, kulankhula sikulinso nthawi zonse kuti apange milatho pakati pa anthu.
Masiku ano timaona kuti munthu ndi wamtengo wapatali ndipo timakhala ndi chidwi kwambiri ndi ife eni, timayang'ana kwambiri mkati mwathu. “Chimodzi mwa zotsatira za chisamaliro choterocho n’chakuti mbali yaikulu ya anthu imaika patsogolo kufunika kodzionetsera ndi kuwononga luso la kuzindikira,” anatero katswiri wa zachipatala wa Gestalt Mikhail Kryakhtunov.
Tikhoza kutchedwa gulu la okamba nkhani omwe palibe amene amawamvetsera.
Mauthenga kupita kulikonse
Zatsopano zamakono zimabweretsa "Ine" yathu patsogolo. Malo ochezera a pa Intaneti amauza aliyense mmene timakhalira, zimene timaganiza, kumene tili komanso zimene timadya. Inna Khamitova, katswiri wa matenda a maganizo a m'banja anati: "Mwina ichi ndi njira yopezera anthu amanyazi omwe amawopa kwambiri malingaliro olakwika m'dziko lenileni."
Amapeza mwayi wofotokozera malingaliro awo ndikudzitsimikizira okha, koma nthawi yomweyo amakhala pachiwopsezo chosunga mantha awo ndikukakamira pamalo omwe ali.
M'nyumba zosungiramo zinthu zakale komanso kumbuyo kwa zowoneka bwino, aliyense amatenga selfies - zikuwoneka kuti palibe amene akuyang'ana mnzake, kapena zaluso zomwe anali nazo pamalo ano. Chiwerengero cha mauthenga-zithunzi ndizochuluka nthawi zambiri kuposa chiwerengero cha omwe angathe kuziwona.
"Mu danga la maubwenzi, pali kuchuluka kwa zomwe zimayikidwa, mosiyana ndi zomwe zimatengedwa," akutsindika Mikhail Kryakhtunov. "Aliyense wa ife amayesetsa kufotokoza maganizo ake, koma pamapeto pake zimachititsa kusungulumwa."
Zolumikizana zathu zikuchulukirachulukira ndipo, chifukwa cha izi zokha, sizikuya.
Kuwulutsa kena kake za ife eni, sitikudziwa ngati pali wina kumbali ina ya waya. Sitikumana ndi kuyankha ndikukhala osawoneka pamaso pa aliyense. Koma kukakhala kulakwa kuimba mlandu njira zolankhulirana pa chilichonse. Mikhail Kryakhtunov anati: “Tikadapanda kuwafuna, sakanaonekera. Chifukwa cha iwo, tikhoza kusinthana mauthenga nthawi iliyonse. Koma kulumikizana kwathu kukuchulukirachulukira, ndipo chifukwa cha izi zokha, kucheperako. Ndipo izi sizikugwiranso ntchito pazokambirana zamalonda, pomwe kulondola kumabwera koyamba, osati kulumikizana kwamalingaliro.
Timasindikiza batani la "wave" osamvetsetsa omwe tikuwayimbira ndi omwe akubweza. Ma library a Emoji amapereka zithunzi zanthawi zonse. Smiley - zosangalatsa, smiley wina - chisoni, apinda manja: "Ndikukupemphererani." Palinso mawu opangidwa okonzeka a mayankho okhazikika. “Kuti mulembe kuti “Ndimakukondani”, mumangofunika kukanikiza batani kamodzi, simufunikanso kulemba chilembo ndi chilembo, akutero katswiri wa Gestalt. "Koma mawu omwe safuna kuganiza kapena kuyesetsa kutsika, amataya tanthauzo lake." Kodi si chifukwa chake timayesetsa kuwalimbikitsa, kuwonjezera kwa iwo «kwambiri», «kwenikweni», « moona mtima moona mtima» ndi zina zotero? Amagogomezera chikhumbo chathu chofuna kuuza ena malingaliro athu ndi malingaliro athu - komanso kusatsimikizika kuti izi zipambana.
malo ocheperako
Zolemba, maimelo, mauthenga, ma tweets amatilepheretsa kukhala kutali ndi munthu wina ndi thupi lawo, maganizo awo ndi maganizo athu.
Inna Khamitova anati: “Chifukwa chakuti kulankhulana kumachitika kudzera m’zida zimene zimagwira ntchito ngati mkhalapakati pakati pa ife ndi munthu wina, thupi lathu silikhudzidwanso ndi zimenezi,” akutero Inna Khamitova, “koma kukhala pamodzi kumatanthauza kumvetsera mawu a munthu wina, kununkhiza. iye, kuzindikira zomverera zosaneneka ndikukhala m'mawu omwewo.
Sitiganiza kawirikawiri za mfundo yakuti tikakhala pamalo amodzi, timawona ndi kuzindikira chikhalidwe chofanana, izi zimatithandiza kumvetsetsana bwino.
Ngati tilankhulana mosalunjika, ndiye kuti "malo athu wamba amachepetsedwa," akupitiriza Mikhail Kryakhtunov, "Sindikuwona wolumikizana kapena, ngati Skype, mwachitsanzo, ndikuwona nkhope ndi gawo la chipindacho, koma sindikuwona " Ndikudziwa zomwe zili kuseri kwa chitseko, momwe zimasokoneza winayo, momwe zinthu zilili, ayenera kupitiliza kukambirana kapena kuzimitsa mwachangu.
Ine ndimadzitengera ndekha zomwe ziribe kanthu ndi ine. Koma iye samamva zimenezo ndi ine.
Zomwe timakumana nazo panthawiyi ndizochepa - sitilumikizana pang'ono, malo okhudzana ndi maganizo ndi ochepa. Tikamacheza wamba ngati 100%, ndiye kuti tikamalankhulana pogwiritsa ntchito zida zamagetsi, 70-80% imasowa. Zimenezi sizingakhale vuto ngati kulankhulana koteroko sikunasinthe kukhala chizoloŵezi choipa, chimene timachiloŵetsa m’kulankhulana kwa tsiku ndi tsiku.
Zikukhala zovuta kuti tizilumikizana.
Kukhalapo kwathunthu kwa china chapafupi ndi chosasinthika ndi njira zaukadaulo
Ndithudi, ambiri awona chithunzichi kwinakwake mu cafe: anthu awiri atakhala patebulo limodzi, aliyense akuyang'ana pa chipangizo chake, kapena mwina iwowo akhala mumkhalidwe wotere. "Iyi ndiye mfundo ya entropy: machitidwe ovuta kwambiri amagawanika kukhala osavuta, ndi osavuta kutsitsa kusiyana ndi kupanga," Gestalt Therapist ikuwonetsera. - Kuti amve wina, muyenera kusiya nokha, ndipo izi zimafuna khama, ndiyeno ndimangotumiza smiley. Koma emoticon sichimathetsa nkhani ya kutenga nawo mbali, womverayo ali ndi kumverera kwachilendo: zikuwoneka kuti adachitapo kanthu, koma sanadzazidwe ndi chirichonse. Kukhalapo kwathunthu kwa mbali ina ndi mbali sikungalowe m'malo mwaukadaulo.
Tikutaya luso la kulankhulana mozama, ndipo liyenera kubwezeretsedwa. Mutha kuyamba ndi kuyambiranso kumva, ngakhale izi sizophweka.
Tikukhala pamphambano za zikoka zambiri ndi zokopa: pangani tsamba lanu, ikani like, sainani pempho, tengani nawo mbali, pitani ...
Kuyang'ana kulinganiza
Inna Khamitova anati: “Taphunzira kutseka malo athu amkati, koma zingakhale zothandiza kutsegulanso. Apo ayi, sitilandira ndemanga. Ndipo ife, mwachitsanzo, tikupitiriza kulankhula, osati kuwerenga zizindikiro kuti winayo sali wokonzeka kutimva ife tsopano. Ndipo ife enife timavutika chifukwa chosowa chisamaliro.”
Wopanga chiphunzitso cha zokambirana, Martin Buber, adakhulupirira kuti chinthu chachikulu muzokambirana ndikutha kumva, osanena. Mikhail Kryakhtunov anati: “Tiyenera kupatsa enawo malo pokambirana. Kuti munthu amve, choyamba ayenera kukhala amene amamva. Ngakhale mu psychotherapy, imabwera nthawi yomwe kasitomala, atalankhula, akufuna kudziwa zomwe zikuchitika ndi wothandizira: "Muli bwanji?" Ndiwogwirizana: ngati sindikumvera, sundimva. Ndipo mosemphanitsa».
Sizokhudza kulankhula mosinthanasinthana, koma kuganizira mmene zinthu zilili komanso kusamalitsa zosowa. "Sizomveka kuchita molingana ndi template: Ndidakumana, ndikufunika kugawana china chake," a Gestalt Therapist akufotokoza. "Koma mutha kuwona zomwe msonkhano wathu ukuchitika, momwe kulumikizana kukukulirakulira. Ndipo musachite zinthu molingana ndi zosowa zanu zokha, komanso momwe zinthu zilili komanso momwe zimachitikira. ”
Nkwachibadwa kufuna kukhala wathanzi, watanthauzo, wofunika, ndi kudzimva kukhala wogwirizana ndi dziko.
Kugwirizana pakati pa ine ndi winayo kumatengera malo omwe ndimamupatsa, momwe amasinthira malingaliro anga ndi malingaliro anga. Koma panthawi imodzimodziyo, sitidziwa motsimikiza zomwe wina angaganizire pogwiritsa ntchito mawu athu monga maziko a ntchito ya malingaliro ake. Inna Khamitova akufotokoza kuti: “Mmene tidzamvetsetsedwe kaŵirikaŵiri zimadalira pa zinthu zambiri: pa luso lathu la kulongosola molondola uthengawo, pa chisamaliro cha wina, ndi mmene timatanthauzira zizindikiro zochokera kwa iye.
Kwa wina, kuti adziwe kuti akumvetsedwa, m'pofunika kuwona maso ake. Kuyang'anitsitsa kumachititsa manyazi wina - koma kumathandiza akagwedeza mutu kapena kufunsa mafunso omveka bwino. "Mungathe ngakhale kufotokoza lingaliro lomwe silinakhazikitsidwe kwathunthu," Mikhail Kryakhtunov akukhulupirira, "ndipo ngati wofunsayo ali ndi chidwi ndi ife, adzakuthandizani kukhazikitsa ndi kukhazikitsa."
Koma bwanji ngati chikhumbo chofuna kumvedwa chili chamwano chabe? “Tiyeni tisiyanitse pakati pa kunyada ndi kudzikonda,” akutero Mikhail Kryakhtunov. “Nkwachibadwa kufuna kudzimva kukhala wathanzi, wotanthauzo, wofunika, ndi kudzimva kukhala wogwirizana ndi dziko.” Pofuna kudzikonda, komwe kuli mu narcissism, kudziwonetsera nokha ndi kubala zipatso, kuyenera kutsimikiziridwa kuchokera kunja ndi ena: kuti tikhale okondweretsa kwa iye. Ndipo nayenso angatisangalatse. Sizichitika nthawi zonse ndipo sizichitika kwa aliyense. Koma pamene pali mwangozi woterewu pakati pathu, kumverera kwa kuyandikana kumadza kuchokera pamenepo: tikhoza kudzikankhira tokha pambali, kulola winayo kulankhula. Kapena mufunseni kuti: Kodi mungamvetsere?