Kodi tili ndi ngongole yanji kwa makolo?

Anthu a m’nthawi yathu ino amakhala nthawi yaitali kuposa zaka XNUMX zapitazo. Chifukwa cha izi, timakhalabe ana nthawi yayitali: timatha kumva kukondedwa, kusangalala ndi chisamaliro, kudziwa kuti pali wina amene moyo wathu ndi wamtengo wapatali kuposa wawo. Koma pali mbali ina.

Mukuya kwaciindi, ambweni tulajana ciindi cakusaanguna kubelekela bana naa bazyali. Zinthu izi zadziwika kuti "sandwich generation".

“Tili pakati pa mibadwo iŵiri yoyandikana nayo - ana athu (ndi adzukulu!) ndi makolo - ndipo amamatira pamodzi monga momwe sangweji imamatira zidutswa ziŵiri za mkate pamodzi," akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Svetlana Komissaruk, Ph.D. "Timagwirizanitsa aliyense, tili ndi udindo pa chilichonse."

Mbali ziwiri

Makolo amakhala nafe kapena padera, nthawi zina amadwala, mosavuta kapena kwambiri, kwamuyaya kapena kwakanthawi, ndipo amafunikira chisamaliro. Ndipo nthawi zina amangotopa ndipo amafuna kuti tiziwasamalira kwambiri, kukonzekera chakudya chamadzulo chabanja kapena kubwera kudzacheza, kukhala ndi tchuthi limodzi, kupita kutchuthi ndi banja lalikulu. Nthaŵi zina timafunanso kuti iwo azisamalira ana athu, kutilola kuthera nthaŵi yochuluka kwa ife eni ndi ntchito zathu.

Mwamsanga kapena pang'onopang'ono, amakalamba - ndipo amafunikira thandizo kukwera masitepe, kulowa m'galimoto ndikumanga lamba wawo. Ndipo tilibenso chiyembekezo chakuti tidzakula ndi kudziimira paokha. Ngakhale titatopa ndi kulemedwaku, sitingathebe kuyembekezera kuti izi zidzatha tsiku lina, chifukwa zingatanthauze kuyembekezera imfa yawo - ndipo sitilola kuti tiganizire.

Oksana Rybakova, yemwe ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo, ananena kuti: “Zimakhala zovuta kuti tizisamalira achibale okalamba ngati tili ana.

Irina, wazaka 42, anati: “Mayi anga sanali ofunda kwenikweni.”— Irina, wazaka XNUMX, zinachitika m’njira zosiyanasiyana, koma pamapeto pake tinazolowerana. Panopa ndimamusamalira ndipo ndimamvanso maganizo osiyanasiyana, kuyambira pa chifundo mpaka kuipidwa. Ndikangoona mmene akufookera mwadzidzidzi, ndimamva chisoni kwambiri. Ndipo akamandinena, nthawi zina ndimamuyankha mwaukali, kenako ndimakhumudwa kwambiri chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. ”

Pozindikira malingaliro athu, timapanga kusiyana pakati pa malingaliro ndi zochita. Nthawi zina mumatha kuchita nthabwala m'malo mokwiya, ndipo nthawi zina muyenera kuphunzira kuvomereza.

Mtsikana wina wazaka 45 dzina lake Dmitry ananena kuti: “Ndimadula zidutswa za nyama m’mbale kuti ndipatse bambo anga ndipo ndikuona kuti sakukhutira, ngakhale kuti alibe nazo ntchito. Lembani zikalata, thandizani kuvala… Komanso pesa tsitsi lanu, sambani nkhope yanu, tsukani m'mano - kukhala ndi chisamaliro chaukhondo ndi njira zachipatala zingakhale zowawa kwa akulu.

Ngati chokoma chathu chikukumana ndi kuyamikira kwawo, mphindi izi zitha kukhala zowala komanso zosaiŵalika. Koma tingaonenso kupsa mtima ndi mkwiyo wa makolowo. Oksana Rybakova akufotokoza kuti: "Zina mwa malingalirowa sizikulunjika kwa ife, koma chifukwa chakusowa kwathu.

Ngongole yabwino kutembenuka ikuyenera ina?

Kodi ndani komanso motani amatsimikizira zomwe tili ndi ngongole kwa makolo ndi zomwe sitiyenera kukhala nazo? Palibe yankho limodzi. "Lingaliro la ntchito ndi la mtengo wamtengo wapatali, pamlingo womwewo pomwe timakumana ndi mafunso: chifukwa chiyani? chifukwa chiyani? ndi cholinga chanji? Mfundo yake ndi yotani? Panthawi imodzimodziyo, lingaliro la ntchito ndi chikhalidwe cha anthu, ndipo ife, monga anthu okhala m'deralo, timakonda kutsata digirii imodzi kapena ina ndi zomwe zalamulidwa kuti tisakanidwe ndi anthu awa, Oksana Rybakova amalemba. 

- Kuchokera kumalingaliro a lamulo la machitidwe a generic, lomwe linafotokozedwa ndi psychotherapist wa ku Germany ndi filosofi Bert Hellinger, makolo ali ndi udindo wokhudzana ndi ana - kuphunzitsa, kukonda, kuteteza, kuphunzitsa, kupereka (mpaka zaka zina). ). Ana alibe ngongole kwa makolo awo.

Ngati aikapo ndalama m’kuvomereza, chikondi, chikhulupiriro, mwaŵi, chisamaliro, makolo angayembekezere mkhalidwe womwewo kwa iwo eni nthaŵi ikadzafika.

Mmene kudzakhala kovuta kwa ife ndi makolo athu kumadalira kwakukulukulu pa mmene ife eni timawonera chimene chikuchitika: kaya tikuchilingalira kukhala chilango, mtolo, kapena siteji yachibadwa m’moyo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 49, dzina lake Ilona, ​​ananena kuti: “Ndimayesetsa kuona kuti kusamalira makolo anga ndiponso zimene amafunikira kumawathandiza kuti akhale ndi moyo wautali, wathanzi komanso wabwino.

Womasulira akufunika!

Ngakhale titakula, timafuna kukhala abwino kwa makolo athu komanso kukhumudwa ngati sitingapambane. “Amayi amandiuza kuti: “Sindifunikira kalikonse, ndiyeno amakhumudwa ngati mawu awowo atengedwa ngati mmene alili,” Valentina wazaka 43 akudabwa.

Oksana Rybakova anati: "Zikatero, zimangokhala kuvomereza kuti uku ndikupusitsa, kufuna kukulamulirani chifukwa chodziimba mlandu. Sitife telepathic ndipo sitingathe kuwerenga zosowa za ena. Ngati tinafunsa mwachindunji ndi kulandira yankho lachindunji, tinachita zonse zomwe tingathe.

Svetlana Komissaruk anati: “Nthawi zambiri makolo samazindikira kuti maganizo awo pa zinthu si okhawo otheka. “Anakulira m’dziko lina, ubwana wawo unathera m’mavuto. Zosokoneza zaumwini kwa iwo kumbuyo, ziyenera kupirira osati kudandaula.

Kudzudzula kunali chida chachikulu cha maphunziro kwa ambiri. Ambiri aiwo sanamvepo za kuzindikira kwapadera kwa mwanayo. Iwo anatilera bwino kwambiri pamene iwo anakula. Chotsatira chake n’chakuti ambiri a ife timadzimva kukhala osakondedwa, osayamikiridwa.” Ndipo zimakhala zovuta kwa ife ndi iwo, chifukwa ululu wa ana amayankha mkati.

Koma makolo akukalamba, akufunikira thandizo. Ndipo panthawiyi n'zosavuta kutenga udindo wa wopulumutsa wolamulira yemwe amadziwa bwino momwe angathandizire. Pali zifukwa ziŵiri, Svetlana Komissaruk akupitiriza kuti: “Kaya, chifukwa cha nkhaŵa yanu yowonjezereka, simukhulupirira wokondedwa wanu ndi mavuto ake ndipo mumayesetsa kupeŵa kulephera kwake kosapeŵeka, monga momwe kumawonekera kwa inu. Kapena mukuwona tanthauzo la moyo mu chithandizo ndi chisamaliro, ndipo popanda izi simungathe kulingalira kukhalapo kwanu. Zifukwa zonsezi zimagwirizana ndi inu, osati ndi cholinga chothandizidwa.

Pankhaniyi, muyenera kudziwa malire anu ndi zolinga zanu kuti musakakamize chisamaliro. Sitidzakanidwa ngati tidikira mpaka titapemphedwa kuti atithandize komanso ngati tilemekeza ufulu wosankha makolo. "Pokhapokha polekanitsa zanga osati bizinesi yanga, timasonyeza chisamaliro chenicheni," akugogomezera Svetlana Komissaruk.

Ndani ngati si ife?

Kodi zingatheke kuti tisakhale ndi mwayi wosamalira akulu athu? Marina wazaka 32, yemwe ndi mayi wa ana aŵiri anati: “Mwamuna wanga anapatsidwa ntchito m’dziko lina, ndipo tinagwirizana kuti banja lathu lisalekana, koma ndi agogo aamuna a mwamuna wanga amene ali chigonere m’manja mwathu. Zaka 92. Sitingathe kumunyamula, ndipo nayenso sakufuna. Tinapeza nyumba yabwino yogonamo, koma anzathu onse akutitsutsa.”

Ndi 7% yokha yomwe imavomereza kuthekera kwa kuikidwa kwawo m'mabungwe oterowo¹. Chifukwa chake sichili kokha m’chizoloŵezi cha anthu wamba cha kukhala m’chitaganya, m’banja lokulirapo, chimene chalembedwa m’chikumbukiro cha makolo athu, komanso kuti “boma nthaŵi zonse lakhala likufunitsitsa kupangitsa ana kumva kukhala thayo kwa makolo awo; ” akutero Oksana Rybakova, “chifukwa Munkhaniyi, amamasuka ndi kufunikira kosamalira omwe sangathenso kugwira ntchito ndipo amafunikira chisamaliro chokhazikika. Ndipo kulibe malo ambiri kumene angapereke chisamaliro chapamwamba.

Tikhozanso kuda nkhawa ndi chitsanzo chimene tingasonyezere ana athu komanso zimene zidzachitikire akadzakalamba. “Ngati kholo lokalamba lipatsidwa chisamaliro choyenera, chisamaliro chamankhwala, chisamaliro ndi chichirikizo, ngati kulankhulana kusungika, izi zingasonyeze zidzukulu mmene angasungire kutentha ndi chikondi,” Oksana Rybakova akutsimikiza. Ndipo momwe angakonzekere mwaukadaulo, aliyense amasankha yekha, poganizira momwe zinthu ziliri.

Pitirizani kukhala ndi moyo

Ngati banja liri ndi munthu wamkulu yemwe alibe ntchito, ali ndi thanzi labwino, wokhoza kupereka chithandizo chamankhwala choyenera, ndiye kuti ndibwino kuti munthu wachikulire azikhala panyumba, zomwe amazidziwa bwino, m'nyumba yomwe amakumbukira zambiri. zogwirizana.

Komabe, zimachitikanso kuti munthu wachikulire tsiku ndi tsiku amaona mmene achibale ake amasamalirira, n’kumuvutitsa. Ndiyeno, pokhalabe ndi maganizo otsutsa ku zenizeni, kuyang'ana kumeneku kungakhale kovuta, komanso kuzindikira za kusowa thandizo la munthu ndi kulemedwa kumene kumawabweretsera ena. Ndipo nthawi zambiri zimakhala zosavuta kwa aliyense ngati zovuta zina zitha kuperekedwa kwa akatswiri.

“Ndimayeretsa zinyalala, ndikukonza komanso kuphika tiyi madzulo, koma nthawi yotsalayo, namwino amasamalira amayi, amawathandiza kuchimbudzi ndi mankhwala. Sindikanakwanira pa zonsezi!” — akutero Dina wazaka 38, mayi wantchito wa mwana wamwamuna wazaka 5 zakubadwa.

“Anthu amayembekezera kuti mwana wamkazi adzasamalira makolo ake osati mwana wamwamuna; Kaya mpongozi kapena mdzukulu,” akutero Oksana Rybakova, “koma zimene zidzakuchitikireni zili ndi inu.”

Aliyense amene amasamalira wachibale, moyo suima pa nthawi ya ntchito imeneyi ndipo satopa nazo. Ngati tingathe kudziyandikira tokha ndi ena osati ngati munthu amene ayenera kumvera malamulo ndi kukwaniritsa ntchito, koma monga munthu wamoyo wosinthasintha, ndiye kuti n'zosavuta kumanga ubale uliwonse.

1. Izvestia ponena za kafukufuku wa NAFI Analytical Center, iz.ru 8.01.21.