“Bwanji osangochoka zinthu zitafika poipa kwambiri?” - zomwe zimachitika kawirikawiri poyankha nkhani zomwe wina amachitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo, kuchititsidwa manyazi, kuzunzidwa. Koma, mwachiwonekere, chirichonse sichiri chophweka: zifukwa zazikulu zimapangitsa wozunzidwayo apitirize kukakamira muubwenzi wopweteka.
Pali nthano zambiri zonena za nkhanza za m’banja ndi kupezerera ena. Ambiri amakhulupirira molakwa kuti amene amachitiridwa nkhanza zoterezi ndi anthu okonda kuzunzidwa. Akuti, "adapempha" kapena "kuputa" mnzawoyo kuti amuchitire nkhanza.
Chilichonse chimene munthu wina anganene kapena kuchita, tili ndi udindo pa zochita zathu. Pavuto lililonse, pali njira zambiri zopanda chiwawa. Koma ozunza nthawi zambiri amakhulupirira kuti ndi mnzanu amene ali ndi udindo pa khalidwe lawo, ndipo ndithudi pamavuto aliwonse muubwenzi. Choipa kwambiri n’chakuti wozunzidwayo amaganiza mofananamo.
Nthawi zambiri kupezerera anzawo kumawoneka motere. Chochitika chachiwawa chikuchitika. Wozunzidwayo ndi wokwiya, wamantha, wopweteka, wokhumudwa. Nthawi zina zimadutsa, ndipo ubalewo umabwerera ku "zabwinobwino": mikangano imayamba, mikangano imakula. Pachimake cha mavuto, pali «kuphulika» - latsopano chiwawa chochitika. Kenako kuzungulira kubwereza.
Pambuyo pazochitika zachiwawa, wozunzidwayo amayamba kusanthula khalidwe lawo ndikuyesera kusintha
Pa nthawi ya "chete", popanda chiwawa kapena nkhanza, wozunzidwa nthawi zambiri amadutsa magawo angapo. Ndi:
1. Kudikira pamene wokondedwayo watonthola ndikukhala «wachibadwa» kachiwiri.
2. Kuyiwala za zochitika zachiwawa, amasankha kukhululukira wozunzayo ndikuchita ngati kuti palibe chimene chinachitika.
3. Amayesa kufotokozera mnzanuyo zomwe akulakwitsa. Zikuwoneka kwa wozunzidwayo kuti ngati angasonyeze wozunzayo momwe akuchitira zinthu mopanda nzeru komanso momwe akumuchitira zowawa, ndiye kuti "adzamvetsetsa zonse" ndikusintha.
4. Akuganiza momwe angasinthire. Wozunzayo nthawi zambiri amayesa kutsimikizira wozunzidwayo kuti sakuzindikira mokwanira. Pambuyo pazochitika zachiwawa, wozunzidwayo amayamba kusanthula khalidwe lawo ndikuyesera kusintha kuti chiwawa chisabwerenso.
Popereka uphungu kwa anthu ochitiridwa nkhanza zapakhomo, akatswiri ambiri, kuphatikizapo akatswiri a maganizo ndi ansembe, samawachitira chifundo ndi kumvetsetsa koyenera. Nthawi zambiri amadabwa chifukwa chake samasiya ubale ndi wozunzayo. Koma, ngati muyesa kulingalira, nthawi zambiri mumatha kupeza kuti munthu sachoka, chifukwa pansi pake amamvera chisoni mnzake, pokhulupirira kuti "ndizovuta kwambiri kwa iye."
Wozunzidwayo nthawi zambiri amazindikira mosadziwa ndi "mwana wamkati wopwetekedwa mtima" wa wozunzayo. Zikuoneka kuti iye ndithu kusintha, ngati iye angakhoze kumvetsa mmene "ndi bwino kumukonda." Amadzitsimikizira kuti amamupweteka chifukwa chakuti iye mwiniyo akuvutika ndi ululu wamkati ndipo amangowapweteketsa iwo omwe akugwa pansi pa mkono, osati zoipa.
Nthawi zambiri, amachita izi chifukwa cha zomwe adakumana nazo paubwana momwe adakulitsa luso lodabwitsa lachifundo - mwachitsanzo, ngati ali ubwana amawona kholo lawo, mchimwene kapena mlongo wawo akuzunzidwa, ndipo adadzimva kuti alibe chochita.
Wozunzidwayo amagwidwa mumchitidwe woipa wa «kukakamiza kubwerezabwereza» poyesa kukonza chisalungamo chomwe adachiwona ali mwana.
Ndipo tsopano munthuyo wakhwima, anayamba chibwenzi, koma zikumbukiro zowawa zowawa sizinachokere, ndipo mkangano wamkati uyenera kuthetsedwa. Pomvera chisoni womuzunzayo, amagwera m'gulu loyipa la "kubwerezabwereza", ngati kuti mobwerezabwereza kuyesa "kukonza" kupanda chilungamo komwe adawona ali mwana. Koma ngati ayesa “kukonda bwino” mwamuna kapena mkazi wake, iye amangopezerapo mwayi pa zimenezi kuti amunyengerere mochenjera kwambiri, pogwiritsa ntchito luso lake lomvera chifundo pa zolinga zake.
Ngakhale ena ataona mmene wozunzayo akuchitira zinthu mwaukali ndi wonyansa, nthaŵi zambiri kumakhala kovuta kwa wozunzidwayo kuzindikira zimenezi. Amakhala ndi mtundu wa amnesia wokhudza nkhanza zake; amaiwala zonse zoyipa zomwe zidachitika pachibwenzi. Choncho, psyche yake imayesetsa kudziteteza ku kupsinjika maganizo. Muyenera kumvetsetsa: iyi ndi njira yodzitetezera, ngakhale ili yopanda thanzi komanso yopanda phindu.
Gwero: PsychoCentral.