Mpikisano wa Amayi ndi mutu wamba m'mabuku ndi makanema. Amanena za iwo kuti: "abwenzi olumbira." Ndipo ziŵembu ndi miseche m’magulu a akazi zimazindikirika kuti n’zofala. Kodi muzu wa kusagwirizana ndi chiyani? Nchifukwa chiyani akazi amapikisana ngakhale ndi omwe ali paubwenzi nawo?
"Ubwenzi weniweni wa akazi, mgwirizano ndi kumverana kwa alongo zilipo. Koma zimachitika mosiyana. Ife ndi moyo wathu sitikondedwa ndi chiwerengero cha akazi omwe ali pafupi chifukwa chakuti ifenso ndife "ochokera ku Venus," anatero Nikki Goldstein, katswiri wodziwa za kugonana komanso maubwenzi.
Iye anatchula zifukwa zitatu zimene zimachititsa akazi kukhala opanda chifundo kwa wina ndi mzake:
nsanje;
kudzimva kukhala pachiwopsezo chako;
mpikisano.
“Udani pakati pa atsikana umayamba kale m’magiredi apansi a sukulu, akutero Joyce Benenson, katswiri wa zamoyo wa ku Harvard University. “Ngati anyamata amamenya poyera anthu amene sakuwakonda, atsikana amasonyeza udani waukulu kwambiri, umene umasonyezedwa mwachinyengo ndiponso mwachinyengo.”
stereotype ya "mtsikana wabwino" salola akazi ang'onoang'ono kufotokoza momasuka zaukali, ndipo izo zimaphimbidwa. M'tsogolomu, khalidweli limasamutsidwa ku uchikulire.
Joyce Benenson adafufuza1 ndipo adatsimikiza kuti amayi amachita bwino kwambiri ali awiriawiri kusiyana ndi magulu. Makamaka ngati kufanana sikulemekezedwa pamapeto pake ndipo utsogoleri wina umakhalapo. “Akazi ayenera kusamalira zosoŵa za ana awo ndi makolo okalamba m’moyo wawo wonse,” akutero Joyce Beneson. Ngati banja, wokwatirana naye, mabwenzi “ofanana” awonedwa ngati othandizira pankhani yovutayi, ndiye kuti akazi amawona chiwopsezo chachindunji mwa akazi osawadziŵa.”
Kuphatikiza pa okonda ntchito, gulu la amayi silikondanso anthu omasuka komanso okopa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
Malinga ndi Nikki Goldstein, akazi ambiri sakonda kuthandiza akazi anzawo ochita bwino kuntchito chifukwa cha chiwopsezo chachikulu komanso kudalira anthu. Amakhala ndi nkhawa komanso amakhala ndi nkhawa m'chilengedwe, amadzifananiza ndi ena ndikuwonetsa kuopa kulephera kwawo.
Mofananamo, kusakhutira ndi maonekedwe a munthu kumapangitsa munthu kuyang’ana zolakwa za ena. Kuphatikiza pa okonda ntchito, gulu la amayi silikondanso anthu omasuka komanso okopa amuna kapena akazi okhaokha.
“Kugonana kawirikawiri kumagwiritsiridwa ntchito ndi akazi ena monga chida chothetsera mavuto osiyanasiyana,” akutero Nikki Goldstein. - Chikhalidwe chodziwika bwino chimathandizira kuti pakhale chithunzi chowoneka bwino cha kukongola kosasamala, komwe kumaweruzidwa malinga ndi mawonekedwe. Izi zimakhumudwitsa akazi omwe amafuna kulemekezedwa chifukwa chanzeru zawo. "
Katswiri wazogonana Zhana Vrangalova wa ku National Institute for Development and Research ku New York adachita kafukufuku mu 2013 omwe adawonetsa kuti ophunzira achikazi amapewa kucheza ndi anzawo akusukulu omwe nthawi zambiri amasintha anzawo.2. Mosiyana ndi ophunzira, omwe chiwerengero cha ogonana nawo anzawo ali nacho sichofunika kwambiri.
“Koma chidani pakati pa akazi chimafika pachimake pamene ali ndi ana; akuti Nikki Goldstein. Kodi mwanayo ayenera kulira? Kodi matewera ndi owopsa? Kodi mwana ayenera kuyamba kuyenda ndi kulankhula ali ndi zaka zingati? Mitu yonseyi ndi mitu yomwe anthu amakonda kwambiri kukangana m'madera a amayi komanso m'mabwalo amasewera. Maubwenzi awa ndi otopetsa. Nthawi zonse padzakhala mayi wina amene amatsutsa njira zanu zolerera.
Pofuna kuchotsa kusagwirizana, Nikki Goldstein amalangiza amayi kuti azitamanda wina ndi mzake nthawi zambiri ndipo asachite mantha kuyankhula momasuka za zomwe akumana nazo.
“Nthaŵi zina m’pofunika kuvomereza kwa atsikana anzanga kuti: “Inde, sindine wangwiro. Ndine mkazi wamba. Ndili ngati inu.” Ndiyeno nsanje ingaloŵe m’malo ndi chisoni ndi chifundo.”
1 J. Benenson "Kukula kwa mpikisano wa akazi aumunthu: Ogwirizana ndi Otsutsa", Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society, B, October 2013.
2 Z. Vrangalova et al. “Mbalame za nthenga? Osati pankhani yolola kugonana», Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2013, №31.