Pachiyambi, maubwenzi abwino ndi maubwenzi okonda chiwerewere amatha kukhala m'njira zofanana kwambiri. Mukakhala pamodzi, nthawi ikuuluka mosazindikira, zikuwoneka kuti mukuyenda pamitambo, ndipo kumwetulira sikuchoka pankhope panu. Koma m’pofunika kumvetsa m’kupita kwa nthaŵi kuti “chombo cha chikondi” chikuyenda chotani, kaya chidzatha kuyenda paulendo wosangalatsa kapena kufa, kugunda miyala m’madzi osaya.
Omwe akuvutika ndi chizolowezi chachikondi amasiyana ndi anthu athanzi chifukwa sangathe kupitirira chikondi choyambirira champhamvu, chilakolako ndi kukopa. “Kumwerekera kumafuna kusonkhezeredwa kosalekeza kwa “malo okondweretsa” a ubongo (wogwirizanitsidwa ndi malingaliro achikondi ndi kukhala m’chikondi), motero nthaŵi zonse amayamba maunansi atsopano ndi atsopano, kuiŵala chilichonse kupatulapo chinthu chatsopano chachikondi,” akufotokoza motero katswiri wa zabanja Gianni Adamo.
Chizoloŵezi chogonana chimachitika mofananamo - omwe akuvutika nawo amafunikiranso kukondoweza kosalekeza kwa "malo osangalatsa" a ubongo, omwe amalandira kudzera mu maubwenzi ogonana ndi zongopeka. Anthu ena amavutika ndi zizolowezi zonse ziwiri panthawi imodzi. Amakondana mosavuta koma zimawavuta kukhalabe ndi ubale wabwino. Kuti musaphwanye "chombo chachikondi" pamatanthwe, kukodwa muubwenzi ndi munthu yemwe wakonda chikondi, kumbukirani izi 13 zizindikiro zomwe zingayambitse chizolowezi chachikondi.
Choncho, munthu amene amakonda kukonda:
1. Nthawi zonse amayamba maubwenzi atsopano omwe amakhala kwakanthawi kochepa (kuyambira miyezi 3 mpaka 24).
2. Nthawi zonse kuyang'ana "imodzi" kapena "imodzi".
3. Amapanga njira zopezera, kunyengerera ndi kusunga mabwenzi atsopano.
4. Amagwira bwenzi lake kudzera mu kugonana, kunyenga, kunyengerera.
5. Nthawi zonse amalakalaka kukhala chinthu chapadera, amasaka zomverera zamphamvu.
6. Sangakhale yekha kwa nthawi yayitali - sizingatheke kwa iye.
7. Mosimidwa amayesa kukondweretsa mnzanu, kuopa kusiyidwa kapena kusiyidwa.
8. Amasankha zibwenzi zomwe sizipezeka, zokwatirana, kapena zankhanza.
9. Amasiya anzake ndi zokonda zake chifukwa cha chikondi chatsopano.
10. Pamene sali pachibwenzi, amayesa kuthawa kusungulumwa kudzera mu kugonana, kuseweretsa maliseche kapena maloto. Nthawi zina mwanjira imeneyi amapewa maubwenzi.
Kukhala m'chikondi ndikumverera kodabwitsa, koma kukonda kwambiri kungakhale chizindikiro cha vuto la maganizo.
11. Kubwereza nthawi zonse maubwenzi omwe adapweteka kapena osalamulirika m'mbuyomu.
12. Amatsogolera moyo wogonana woopsa popanda kuganizira zotsatira zake (matenda opatsirana pogonana, mimba yosakonzekera, chiopsezo chogwiriridwa).
13. Kulephera kusunga maubwenzi apamtima kwa nthawi yaitali. Zachilendozo zikatha, amatopa kapena kuopa kutsekeredwa muubwenzi wanthawi yayitali ndi munthu wolakwika. Zotsatira zake, amachoka patali ndi mnzake kapena amamuthamangitsa ndi zonyansa.
Kukhala m'chikondi ndikumverera kodabwitsa, koma chikondi chochuluka chingakhalenso chizindikiro cha kupsinjika maganizo. “Awo amene ali ndi chizoloŵezi cha chikondi kapena kugonana amafunafuna magwero a chimwemwe osati mwa iwo okha, koma m’dziko lakunja. Chinthu choyamba chofunika kwambiri pochiza kumwerekera kulikonse ndiko kusiya kukana vutolo ndi kuvomereza kuti moyo wakhala wosachiritsika,” akutero Gianni Adamo.
Psychotherapy ndi magulu othandizira osadziwika angathandize kuchiza. Zosokoneza bongo nthawi zambiri zimayamba chifukwa cha kupwetekedwa mtima kwaubwana komwe kumakhudzana ndi chibwenzi kapena kugwiriridwa. Ngati mwayamba chibwenzi ndi mnzanu watsopano ndikukayikira kuti ndi wokonda chikondi, ndi bwino kuyesa kupeza wina yemwe ali wokonzeka komanso wokhoza kukhala ndi ubale wautali ndi chikondi chenicheni.
Ngati mukufunabe kuyesa kupulumutsa ubalewu, yesani kulankhula momasuka ndi mnzanuyo ndikuwona ngati ali wokonzeka kuthetsa mavuto ake. Maubwenzi opambana ndi okhalitsa komanso maukwati amafunikira khama lochokera kwa onse awiri.