Zamkatimu
Aliyense walakwitsapo kamodzi. Panthawi ngati imeneyi, timawoneka ngati akhungu tokha: simungazindikire bwanji kuti munthu uyu sangadalire? Zimachitika kuti sitipeza chilankhulo wamba, chifukwa sitinavutike kuwona, kuti tidzipangire tokha chithunzi chake. Momwe mungachitire mwachangu komanso popanda mayeso kuchokera ku mautumiki apadera, amalangiza mphunzitsi John Alex Clark.
Mnzanu, bwenzi, okondedwa ... Munthuyo ndi wabwino kwa inu, koma simumvetsetsa kuti ndi munthu wamtundu wanji, momwe angachitire ndi kusatetezeka kwanu, kodi mungamukhulupirire ndi chinsinsi, kupempha thandizo? Masamba a Psychological life hack ali ndi zolemba ngati "Ngati mukufuna kudziwa munthu, mufunseni mafunso 38." Tiyeni tiyerekeze momwe zimawonekera: mumakhala mnzanu kapena mnzanu pafupi ndi inu, mufunseni mafunso molingana ndi mndandanda ndikulemba mayankho mosamala. Ndi angati angavomereze izi?
Chinanso chonyanyira ndicho kukhulupirira kuti n’zotheka kumasula munthu pambuyo pa miyezi ingapo kapena zaka zambiri za kulankhulana kwapafupi. Mphunzitsi John Alex Clark ndi wotsimikiza: sizokhudza kuchuluka kwa nthawi, koma za kuyang'anitsitsa ndi kufunitsitsa kugwirizanitsa mfundo mu unyolo umodzi. Pali njira zingapo zosavuta zomwe zimakupatsani mwayi wozindikira machitidwe ndikumvetsetsa mawonekedwe.
1. Zindikirani tsatanetsatane
Tsiku lililonse timachita zinthu zambiri zachizolowezi: kuyankhula pa foni, kugula chakudya. Zochita za anthu zimatha kupereka chidziwitso cha umunthu wawo ndikuthandizira kuneneratu momwe angakhalire muzochitika zofanana.
Chitsanzo A. Munthu amene amasankha chakudya chofanana tsiku lililonse m’lesitilanti akhoza kupewa kusintha m’moyo ndipo sakonda kusatsimikizika. Munthu woteroyo angakhale mwamuna wokhulupirika ndi wodzipereka, koma kungakhale kovuta kum’sonkhezera kusamukira kudziko lina kapena kukaika ndalama zoika moyo pachiswe.
Chitsanzo B. Munthu amene amakonda kutchova njuga ndi ntchito zina zoika moyo pachiswe angaike moyo wake pachiswe m’mbali zina za moyo wake. Mwachitsanzo, akhoza kusiya ntchito yake popanda kupeza latsopano komanso osasamalira ndalama «airbag».
Chitsanzo C. Munthu amene saiwala kuyang'ana mbali zonse ziwiri asanawoloke msewu angakhale wochenjera. Adzalingalira mosamalitsa chosankha chilichonse asanachipange, ndipo adzangotenga ngozi zoŵerengeka.
Mwa kupenda khalidwe la munthu m’gawo lina, mungaone mmene angadzisonyezere m’mbali zina za moyo.
2. Samalani njira zolankhulirana
Kodi amalankhula bwanji? Kodi amamanga ubale ndi aliyense motsatana kapena amapatula yemwe ali pafupi kwambiri mumzimu, ndipo ndi ena onse amayesa kukhalabe m'malire akhalidwe? Kodi amachita mwachidwi, popanda ndondomeko yomveka bwino, kodi amatsogoleredwa ndi zowona kapena amayesa kufufuza chilichonse, sakhulupirira chibadwa chake ndipo amayesetsa kukhala ndi zolinga? Kodi iye ndi katswiri yemwe amakhala m'dziko lazowona, ntchito, zoyezera, kapena woganiza zomwe malingaliro, malingaliro, ziwembu ndi zithunzi ndizofunikira?
3. Kambiranani za ubale wakuntchito ndi anzanu omwe muli nawo
Zikuwoneka kuti "kutsuka mafupa" a ena ndi ntchito yopanda pake komanso yopanda tanthauzo. Koma chinthu chachikulu ndi makhalidwe amene munthu amapereka kwa ena, mmene amamasulira zolinga zawo. Ponena za ena, nthawi zambiri timazindikira zomwe zili mwa ife tokha. "Pantheon" yathu yaumwini imatha kutiuza zomwe timayamikira mwa anthu, omwe timayesetsa kukhala nawo, makhalidwe omwe timayesa kusintha mwa ife tokha.
Kaŵirikaŵiri munthu akamaona ena kukhala okoma mtima, achimwemwe, okhazikika m’maganizo, kapena aulemu, m’pamenenso amakhala ndi mikhalidwe imeneyi. Kulingalira monga “inde, akungonamizira, akukumba dzenje wina” kungatanthauze kuti wolankhulayo ndi wanzeru ndipo amamvetsetsa maubale okha opangidwa ndi phindu.
4. Muziona malire
Tikafuna kumanga ubale, timayang'ana zabwino ndikunyalanyaza zoyipa. Koma zonyenga zidzatha, ndipo mudzayenera kumuwona munthuyo ali yense. Olankhulana odziwa bwino choyamba samayang'ana zabwino mwa otsutsa, koma malire a zabwino.
Iye ndi wokondana - kodi chikondi chake chimathera kuti? Woona mtima - kudzayamba kuti mdima? Amayesetsa kuthandiza - kodi chilakolakochi chimathera kuti? Zosavunda mpaka ndalama zingati? Woona mtima ndi makasitomala mpaka ndalama zingati? Kulekerera zolakwa za omvera mpaka pati? Woganiza bwino, wololera, wokwanira? Kodi batani lomwe limamutembenuza kukhala wamisala lili kuti?
Popeza tamvetsetsa izi, tiwona momwe tingalankhulire ndi wina komanso zomwe tingayembekezere kuchokera kwa iye.
Za Wolemba: John Alex Clark ndi Mphunzitsi wa NLP ndi Wothandizira.