Zamkatimu
Tikakumana ndi munthu amene tingathe kukhala naye pa ubwenzi ndi kuyamba naye ubwenzi, zingaoneke kwa ife kuti takumana ndi “munthu yemweyo”, tsogolo lathu. Uyo omwe tidakonzeka kukhala naye moyo wathu wonse. Koma pakapita nthawi, zitha kuwoneka kuti mnzakeyo ndi wosayenera kwa ife. Tinkakhala mu ukapolo wa zongopeka ndi mapulani a tsogolo labwino, koma zoona zake ndife anthu osiyana kotheratu. Kodi mungamvetse bwanji kuti izi ndi momwe zilili?
Ngati zoyesayesa zonse za kuwongolera maunansi abanja zalephera, dzifunseni funso: kodi kuli koyenera kupulumutsa ukwati? Inde, tazolowera kuganiza kuti ndikofunikira kuchita chilichonse, koma zingayambitse chiyani? Mwina - ku mfundo yakuti kuzunzika ndi kusakhutira ndi moyo wa banja zidzangokula. Nazi nthawi zingapo zomwe muyenera kuganizira mozama za chisudzulo.
1. Moyo pabwalo lankhondo la “kusunga banja chifukwa cha mwana”
Mkhalidwe umene ukwati umakhala wozikidwa pa kulera ana ogwirizana, ndipo unansi wa makolo umasiya kukhumbitsidwa. Kusamvana komwe kukukulirakulira, kukakamirana, kusowa kokondana tsiku ndi tsiku kumawonjezera mkhalidwe wapanyumba ndipo kumayambitsa mikangano ndi zonyozeka pafupipafupi. Okwatirana onse amavutika ndi kusakhutira m’maunansi abanja ndipo samamva kukhala ofunikira ndi kukondedwa.
Mwanayo amakulira m'malo osagwirizana ndi mikangano yokhazikika pakati pa okondedwa. Chifukwa cha ichi, paunyamata, amatha kukumana ndi mavuto a maganizo ndikupanga chitsanzo cholakwika chomanga maubwenzi m'tsogolomu.
Zikatero, ndikofunikira kwambiri kudzifunsa funso ngati kuli koyenera kupulumutsa banja, ndipo koposa zonse, chifukwa chiyani. Ngati chilimbikitso ndi mwana yekha, ndiye kuti sikoyenera: pamapeto pake, amangovutika. Ngati makolo onse akufuna kupanga maubwenzi, ndikofunikira kuchoka pa chitsanzo cha banja la abambo ndi amayi kupita kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Mkanganowo ukatha, pangakhale mpata wachimwemwe ndi malingaliro atsopano kwa wina ndi mnzake.
2. Kusungulumwa m’banja
Mkhalidwe pamene wokondedwa wina sangadalire wachiwiri, chifukwa winayo, ali ndi iye yekha "mu chisangalalo ndi chuma", koma osati mu "matenda ndi umphawi". Ndi mavuto onse aakulu muyenera kuthana nawo nokha. M'kupita kwa nthawi, wokondedwa amene amapewa mavuto amayamba kusokoneza kwambiri moyo wa mwamuna kapena mkazi wachiwiri, ngati kumuyesa mphamvu. Kudzimva kowopsa kwa kufooka kumabweretsa chiwawa ndi chikhumbo chosonyeza kuti ndiwe wapamwamba, ndipo chifukwa cha izi ndikofunikira kuti wokondedwayo alephere.
Kodi ndi koyenera kukhalabe muubwenziwu? M’banja, n’kofunika kugwirizanitsa zinthu kuti mukwaniritse zolinga zofanana, osati kudyerana masuku pamutu, kusiya zinthu zikavuta.
3. Kuona kuti kuchokako kumangowonjezera zinthu.
Zimachitika kuti mnzanu - kawirikawiri mkazi - amayendetsedwa ndi mantha kuti kuchoka kumangowonjezera vutoli, kumayambitsa nkhanza ndi kuzunzidwa. Ndipo mantha amenewa ndi aakulu kwambiri moti wogwiriridwayo amakhalabe paubwenzi ndi wogwirirayo, kuyesera kukwaniritsa zofunika zonse kuti asakwiyitse mwamuna kapena mkazi wokwiya msanga.
Kutuluka mumkhalidwe wa nkhanza zapakhomo ndikofunikira, koma ndikofunikira kwambiri kusamalira chitetezo chanu pasadakhale.
4. Kuthamangitsa gasi
Nthawi yomwe m'modzi amapangitsa mnzake kukayikira za thanzi lawo. Pang'onopang'ono, kupanikizika kumakula, ndipo wozunzidwayo amayamba kuganiza kuti chowonadi sichili "chokha", ndipo wotsutsayo amachotsa zochita zake zosakwanira monga momwe zimakhalira. Mwachitsanzo, mwamuna kapena mkazi angapeze kuti mwamuna wake ali ndi banja losiyana - ndi ana, mapulani ogwirizana ndi maloto. Sikuti mkhalidwewo suli wosangalatsa, komanso mnzakeyo angatsimikizire mkazi wake kuti zomwe zikuchitika ndizabwinobwino.
5. Kudziimba mlandu komanso kumverera kuti nthawi zonse muli ndi ngongole kwa okondedwa wanu
Moyo umapereka mayesero osiyanasiyana pa mabanja. Othandizana nawo ena amalimbana mokhazikika pamavuto ndi zovuta zilizonse, amakula ndikukhala amphamvu. Koma zimachitikanso kuti vuto limakhala njira yolambirira: “Pakadapanda inu, ndikanasiya (a) kukagwira ntchito ku Australia, kukwezedwa pantchito, kupatsa (a) ana maphunziro abwino. ” Munthu amapangidwa kuganiza kuti mnzakeyo chifukwa cha iye adasiya chinthu chofunikira ndipo tsopano ali ndi ngongole yayikulu.
Kupirira liwongo kumachepetsa kudzidalira, ndipo moyo pang’onopang’ono umakhala wosapiririka kotheratu. Monga momwe zinalili kale, kusudzulana muzochitika zotere kumakhala njira yokhayo yopulumukira, koma ndi bwino kukonzekera njira yanu yobwereranso pasadakhale, osadikira nthawi yomwe chikho cha kuleza mtima chikusefukira ndipo simuyenera kupita "popanda".
Anna Nine
Katswiri wa zamaganizo
Katswiri wa zamaganizo abanja, psychotherapist.
annadevyatka.ru/