Zizindikiro 6 za Ubale Wachikondi Wathanzi

“Chikondi chimabweretsa mavuto”, “chikondi n’choipa”, “zibwenzi nthawi zambiri zimakhala zoipa”, “chikondi chimakhala zaka zitatu” …

Komabe, lero akatswiri a zamaganizo safulumira kuvomereza izi. M'malo mwake, akuyesera kudziwa chomwe nkhani yachikondi iyenera kukhala, kuti isatiwononge, koma, mosiyana, imabweretsa chisangalalo ndi kukhutira.

Akatswiri ambiri amavomereza kuti maziko a unansi wabwino ndiwo chisungiko chamaganizo ndi chakuthupi, kukhulupirirana, chikondi, ndi kuthandizana. Tawonjezera mndandandawu mpaka mfundo zisanu ndi chimodzi, zomwe zimayankhulidwa ndi katswiri wazamisala wabanja komanso wokonda mabanja Rimma Maksimova.

Poyesa malongosoledwe awa pazochitika zanu, mumvetsetsa momwe ubale womwe ulipo ukuyenererani, ndikusankha komwe mungapitirire.

1. Mumaona kuti ndinu otetezeka

Wokondedwayo amalemekeza kukhulupirika kwanu. Kudzimva kukhala otetezeka ndiko maziko a ubale wabwino. Pagulu la mnzanu, mutha kutaya chigobacho ndi chidaliro chonse ndikuwonetsa kusatetezeka kwanu. Mumamva kuti simukuyendetsedwa, simukuopsezedwa, m'malo mwake, mumalemekezedwa.

Mukakumana mutapatukana, kumverera kwanu kwakukulu ndi chisangalalo. Ndipo kawirikawiri, pakati pa malingaliro omwe amasiyanitsa moyo wanu palimodzi, pali chisangalalo ndi chisangalalo, ngakhale pali mkwiyo, mantha, kukhumudwa. Koma mutha kugawana malingaliro awa ndi okondedwa anu ndipo sangakukankhireni kutali. Pamodzi, mutha kumvetsetsa komwe malingalirowa amachokera ndikuchiritsa mabala kuchokera kwa iwo.

Ngati sichoncho

Mwina ubale wanu ukhoza kutchedwa pathological: ndi zovulaza kwa inu, koma simungathe kuziletsa. Kuchuluka kwamalingaliro nthawi zambiri kumawonetsa kulumikizana kwapafupi kwambiri ndikubisa kusagwirizana muubwenzi womwe umaganiziridwa molakwika kuti "wokonda".

Nsonga

Dziŵani kuti ubwenzi umene supereka lingaliro la chisungiko sudzaupereka m’tsogolo. Yesetsani kuzindikira phindu lomwe amabweretsa kwa inu. Mwachitsanzo, kuwala kwa malingaliro ndi zochitika zakugonana zimatsekereza kudzimva wopanda kanthu mkati. Yesani kukambirana ndi mnzanuyo zinthu zomwe sizikudalira inu. Ngati sakumva, musazengereze kupempha thandizo kwa katswiri kuti muwone ngati ubale wanu uli ndi tsogolo.

2. Simuopa kutsutsa

Mukhoza kutsutsa mnzanuyo, kufotokoza maganizo osiyana. Simukumva kuti muyenera kudziletsa, kuti mukuyenera kuyeza mawu aliwonse kuti musakwiyire, kukwiya kapena kutsika mtengo poyankha. Mumakhulupirira kuti mutha kukambirana ndipo aliyense adzalandiridwa ndikumveka. Mukudziwa kuti maubwenzi apamtima ndi ofunda amafunikira kuyesetsa komanso kumasuka, ndipo iyi si dongosolo lozizira, koma dongosolo lomwe limafunikira chakudya chokhazikika.

Ngati sichoncho

Mwina muli ndi mnzanu amene amakulamulirani. Sadzidalira mokwanira mwa iyemwini, akuyesera kukweza ulemu wake pamtengo wanu ndipo motero samalola zotsutsana zilizonse. Kapena njira yanu yosonyezera kuti simukugwirizana nayo imamupweteka, amayamba kudziikira kumbuyo, ndipo kwa inu mukuona kuti simungathe kulankhula momasuka pa chilichonse.

Nsonga

Musananene kuti mnzanuyo ndi wankhanza, funsani modzidzimutsa. Kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti simukugwirizana nazo? Kodi mumatha kuyankhula zakukhosi, kapena mumadziteteza ku zomwe mukumvera, kuukira mnzanu? Lankhulani naye za momwe mungafunikire kulankhula maganizo anu kuti ubwenzi wanu upitirire. Mwina izi sizokwanira kuteteza malire awo. Ndiye muyenera kumenyera nokha ndi ubale wanu.

3. Sikuti mumangogwira ntchito mwachizolowezi.

Mukhoza kusonyeza mbali iliyonse ya umunthu wanu popanda kusokoneza chikondi chanu. Kusinthasintha uku kumalankhula za ubale wabwino. Simumangokhala ndi gawo limodzi ndipo musatchule mnzanu, podziwa kuti chinyengocho ndi choopsa bwanji kuti mwaphunzira wina ndi mtima. Mumamasuka kusintha zomwe mumakonda, malingaliro, zizolowezi, ndipo mumapatsa ena ufulu womwewo. Mukhoza kusintha pamodzi, nthawi zonse kupezana wina ndi mzake.

Ngati sichoncho

Podzitsekera ku gawo limodzi, timataya mwayi wopeza chuma cha umunthu wathu ndikuchepetsa kukula kwa maubwenzi. Yerekezerani kuchuluka kwa mavuto «moyo pansi pa chizindikiro» kumakupatsani. Ganizirani za zilembo zomwe mumayika kwa mnzanuyo. Masewerawa nthawi zambiri amaseweredwa limodzi.

Nsonga

Ngati mulibe mpweya, dzifunseni chomwe chiri chomasuka komanso chovuta kwa inu panthawiyi. Ganizirani za mabonasi omwe wokondedwa wanu amalandira kuchokera pazochitikazo, nthawi yayitali bwanji komanso chifukwa chiyani chizindikirocho chinakukanikirani. Bwanji osatsindika ndi nthabwala zomwe zili «kunja kwa bokosi» mu khalidwe lanu?

Yesetsani kuyankhula ndi wokondedwa wanu: amamva bwanji mukamatero? Yesetsani kumumva ndikugawana zomwe mwakumana nazo pamene sakulolani kusiya ntchito yanu yanthawi zonse. Muli ndi ufulu wodzilola nokha zinthu zatsopano, kusintha ndikuchita mogwirizana ndi zokhumba zanu ndi zosowa zanu.

4. Mumamvera ndi kuthandizidwa

Pamene mukufotokoza maganizo anu kapena mmene mukumvera, mumaona kuti mnzanuyo ali ndi inu, kuti amakumvetserani ndi kuyesetsa kumvetsa. Malingaliro anu ndi zochitika zanu ndizofunika kwa iye. Mutha kupempha ndi kulandira chisamaliro ndi chithandizo. Simufunikanso kupempha, mnzanuyo amayankha zopempha zanu, monga momwe mumachitira kwa ake.

Mkhalidwe umenewu umatchedwa "kumvetsa mtima." Ngakhale ngati mnzanuyo samamvetsetsa nthawi zonse zomwe zimakukhumudwitsani, amakhumudwa kuti mwakhumudwa, ndipo ndikofunikira kuti mugawane naye izi. Mavuto anu aumwini sakhala anu okha, koma amakhala ofala.

Ngati sichoncho

Mwina zonse zimayenda bwino mu ubale wanu pokhapokha «nyengo kunyumba» ndi zabwino. Kwa ena, izi ndi zabwino: sadziwa momwe angathandizire, amawopa kulakwitsa ndikumva mkwiyo wa wokondedwa, kapena iwo eni amakhudzidwa ndi malingaliro ndikuyesera kusambira paokha. Koma ngati m’modzi wa okwatiranawo sapereka chisamaliro ndi chithandizo kwa mnzake, mosapeŵeka zimenezi zimadzetsa chisoni. Wokondedwa wachiwiri amadziona kuti ndi wosafunika komanso wosafunikira.

Nsonga

Poyamba, fotokozani momveka bwino zosowa zanu, osayembekezera kuti mnzanuyo anganene. Tikuganiza kuti wokonda adzawerenga malingaliro athu, koma izi ndi nthano. Khalani omasuka kunena kuti kuthandizana ndi chidwi kwa inu ndiye maziko a ubale. Mukhozanso kufotokoza mtundu wa chithandizo chomwe mukufuna: kumvetsera kosavuta, chilimbikitso, kupeza yankho, kapena zina.

Ngati panthawiyi mnzanuyo akulephera kukwaniritsa chosowa chanu, yang'anani kwina kuti akuthandizeni (banja, abwenzi). Ndiyeno onetsetsani kuti mwabwereranso kukambitsirana za kufunika kwa chithandizo choterocho kwa inu.

5. Ndiwe wodziyimira pawokha

Mutha kulankhulana ndi anzanu ndi achibale, kukonza zinthu, kukwaniritsa zosowa zanu nokha. Wokondedwa wanu sakhala kholo lanu kapena chothandizira. Mukudziwa kuti chizoloŵezichi chikamakula, mantha otaya maubwenzi amawonjezeka, ndiyeno kufunikira kwawo kumakhala patsogolo kuposa chilakolakocho. Komabe, kudziyimira pawokha kulibe phindu lililonse: aliyense mwa okwatirana amakhala wodziyimira pawokha kuti athe kuyamikira kuyandikana kwambiri. Okwatiranawo ayenera kupeza malire oyenera aliyense.

Ngati sichoncho

Mwina kumwerekera kwanu ndi chinthu chakanthawi, kapena simukudziwa. Mwina munamusankha chifukwa cha kumasuka kapena chifukwa choopa kukhala nokha. Zitha kukhalanso zotsatira za ubale womwe mwaponderezedwa kuti zikhale zosavuta kukugonjetsani. Muyenera kuunika ubwino ndi kuipa kwa udindo wanu.

Nsonga

Yezerani bwino zoopsa zonse zomwe chizoloŵezi chimakubweretserani. Zilibe kanthu kaya ndi chizoloŵezi chakuthupi, ndalama kapena maganizo. Podzifunsa nokha mafunso: "Chizoloŵezi ichi chikundiletsa chiyani?", "Ndingakhale bwanji ndekha?", "N'chifukwa chiyani sindingathe kulankhula ndi mnzanga za izi?", Mukhoza kupitiriza kusintha kusintha. ubale ngati kuli kofunikira.

6. Mumakula

Ubale wanu ndi mphamvu yomwe imakukankhirani patsogolo. Amakulolani kuti mupange ndikudzipezanso nokha. Kukhala ndi thanzi labwino m'maganizo ndiko kudalirana ndipo kumachiritsa mwachibadwa, chifukwa kumakulolani kuti muthe kubwereza zochitika zowawa ndikuchiritsa mabala ena akale. Mumaona kuti mumayamikiridwa ndikuvomerezedwa popanda kuyesa kukonzanso.

Ngati sichoncho

Mutha kukhala muubwenzi wolakwika kapena mukuopa kutaya mtengo wanu kwa munthu amene mumamukonda. Mulimonsemo, kukakamiza, mantha ndi kuzunzika zimakuberani chisangalalo ndi mwayi wokhala nokha modekha komanso momasuka.

Nsonga

Mukangoyamba kusamva bwino pachibwenzi - mwachitsanzo, kukwiya kapena kukhumudwa nthawi zambiri, kupsa mtima, kudziikira kumbuyo, kapena kukwiya - muyenera kudzifunsa mafunso okhudza zomwe zimakupangitsani kukhala waukali kapena wopanda mphamvu komanso chikhalidwe cha kulumikizidwa kwanu. Kafukufukuyu nthawi zambiri amakhala wosavuta kuchita mothandizidwa ndi akatswiri.

Ndikofunika kukumbukira apa kuti palibe chomwe chingalephereke m'chikondi: timavomereza zomwe zimachitika kwa ife tokha, mozindikira kapena mosadziwa.