Zinthu 6 zomwe muyenera kudziwa zokhudza maubwenzi abwino

“Ubwenzi wabwino sufunikira kuyenda bwino. Ndipo ngati mukuyenerabe kugwira ntchito, ndiye nthawi yobalalika. "Tiyenera kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri. Ngati chithandizo chikufunika, ndiye kuti ubalewo watha. ” "Wokondedwayo ayenera kudziwa zomwe ndikufuna komanso zomwe ndikufuna." «Mabanja osangalala samakangana konse; mikangano imawononga maubale.”

Nazi zitsanzo zochepa chabe za malingaliro olakwika okhudza maubwenzi abwino. Ndikuganiza kuti ndikofunikira kuwakumbukira, chifukwa malingaliro amakhudza momwe timakhalira komanso momwe timaonera mgwirizano. Poganiza kuti chithandizo ndi cha okhawo amene atsala pang’ono kusudzulana ndi amene ali ndi mavuto enieni, mungakhale mukuphonya njira yopititsira patsogolo maunansi. Pokhulupirira kuti mnzanuyo ayenera kulingalira zomwe mukufuna, simulankhula za zilakolako mwachindunji, koma mumamenya chitsamba, kumverera kusakhutira ndi kukhumudwa. Pomaliza, poganiza kuti palibe kuyesayesa kofunikira kuti mukhale ndi ubale, mudzayesa kuuthetsa pachizindikiro choyamba cha kusamvana, ngakhale kuti kungalimbikitse mgwirizano wanu.

Makhalidwe athu atha kukuthandizani kuti muyandikire bwenzi lanu, koma atha kukukakamizani kuchoka ndikumva chisoni. Akatswiri amapeza zizindikiro zingapo zofunika za ubale wabwino zomwe aliyense ayenera kudziwa.

1. Ubale Wathanzi Siwokhazikika Nthawi Zonse

Malinga ndi akatswiri a zabanja Mara Hirschfeld, okwatirana samathandizirana mofanana nthawi zonse: chiŵerengerochi sichingakhale 50/50, koma 90/10. Tinene kuti mkazi wako ali ndi ntchito zambiri, ndipo amayenera kukhala muofesi tsiku lililonse osati mpaka usiku. Pa nthawiyi, mwamuna amasamalira ntchito zonse zapakhomo komanso kusamalira ana. Amayi a mwamuna wanga apezeka ndi khansa mwezi wamawa ndipo akufunika kulimbikitsidwa ndi kuthandizidwa kunyumba. Kenako mkaziyo akuphatikizidwa m’kachitidweko. Chinthu chachikulu ndi chakuti onse awiri amathandizana pa nthawi zovuta ndipo kumbukirani kuti chiŵerengero choterocho sichiri kwamuyaya.

Hirschfeld akutsimikiza kuti muyenera kuwunika mosamala kuchuluka kwa zinthu zomwe mukugwiritsa ntchito pa maubwenzi, ndikukambirana momasuka. M’pofunikanso kupitirizabe kukhulupirira banja ndi kusayesa kuzindikira zolinga zoipa m’chilichonse. Choncho, muubwenzi wabwino, mnzanuyo sakuganiza kuti "ali kuntchito chifukwa sakudandaula," koma "akufunikadi kutero."

2. Maubwenzi amenewa amakhalanso ndi mikangano.

Ife, anthu, ndife ovuta, aliyense ali ndi zikhulupiriro zake, zilakolako, malingaliro ndi zosowa zake, zomwe zikutanthauza kuti mikangano mukulankhulana sikungapewedwe. Ngakhale mapasa ofanana okhala ndi DNA yofanana, amene anakulira m’banja limodzi, kaŵirikaŵiri amakhala osiyana kotheratu.

Koma, malinga ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo Clinton Power, mu banja lathanzi, okwatirana amakambirana nthawi zonse zomwe zinachitika, chifukwa m'kupita kwa nthawi mikangano yosathetsedwa imangowonjezereka, ndipo okwatiranawo amamva chisoni ndi chisoni.

3. Okwatirana amakhala okhulupirika ku malumbiro awo aukwati

Katswiri wa zamaganizo Peter Pearson amakhulupirira kuti omwe adalemba malumbiro awo aukwati ali kale ndi njira yabwino yaukwati. Malonjezo amenewa ndi abwino kuposa malangizo operekedwa kwa ongokwatirana kumene ndi okondedwa awo. Malonjezo otere amalangiza kuti mukhale pamodzi mu chisangalalo ndi chisoni, ndikukumbutsani kuti mukhalebe wokondedwa wanu nthawi zonse.

Malonjezo ambiri ndi ovuta kusunga: mwachitsanzo, nthawi zonse muziwona zabwino zokhazokha mwa mnzanu. Koma ngakhale mu banja lathanzi mwamuna kapena mkazi ali ndi nthawi zovuta, wachiwiri amamuthandiza nthawi zonse - umu ndi momwe maubwenzi olimba amapangidwira.

4. Wokondedwa nthawi zonse amakhala woyamba

Mwa kuyankhula kwina, mu awiriwa iwo amadziwa kuika patsogolo, ndipo mnzanuyo nthawi zonse adzakhala wofunika kwambiri kuposa anthu ena ndi zochitika, Clinton Power amakhulupirira. Tiyerekeze kuti mukupita kukakumana ndi anzanu, koma mnzanuyo akufuna kukhala kunyumba. Choncho mumakonzanso misonkhano n’kumacheza naye. Kapena mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu akufuna kuonera filimu imene simukufuna, koma inuyo mwaganiza kuti muonere limodzi kuti mukhale ndi nthawi yocheza. Ngati wavomereza kuti posachedwapa sakugwirizana nanu, mumasiya zonse zimene munafuna kuti mukhale naye.

5. Ngakhale maubwenzi abwino angawononge.

Mara Hirschfeld akunena kuti m'modzi mwa okondedwawo nthawi zina amatha kunena mawu achipongwe, pomwe winayo amadziteteza. Kufuula kapena mwano pankhaniyi ndi njira yodzitetezera. Kaŵirikaŵiri, chifukwa chake n’chakuti mnzanuyo anachitiridwa nkhanza ndi kholo ali mwana, ndipo tsopano ali wosamala ndi kamvekedwe ka munthu winayo ndi maonekedwe ake a nkhope, komanso ndemanga zomuyesa.

Katswiriyu amakhulupirira kuti timakonda kuchita mopambanitsa pazochitika zimene timadzimva kukhala osakondedwa, osafunidwa, kapena osayenera chisamaliro—mwachidule, zimene zimatikumbutsa zowawa zakale. Ubongo umachita mwapadera zoyambitsa zomwe zimagwirizanitsidwa ndi ubwana wathu ndi omwe anatilera. “Ngati kugwirizana ndi makolowo kunali kosakhazikika kapena kosadziŵika bwino, zimenezi zingasokoneze maganizo a dziko. Munthu angaganize kuti dzikoli n’lopanda chitetezo ndiponso kuti anthu sayenera kudaliridwa,” akufotokoza motero.

6. Othandizana nawo amatetezana

Clinton Mphamvu ndi wotsimikiza kuti mu mgwirizano wotero, okwatirana osati kuteteza wina ndi mzake ku zowawa zinachitikira, komanso kudzisamalira. Sadzavulazana Pagulu kapena Kuseri kwa zitseko.

Malingana ndi Mphamvu, ngati ubale wanu ulidi wathanzi, simungatenge mbali ya munthu amene akuukira mnzanuyo, koma, mosiyana, thamangirani kuteteza wokondedwa wanu. Ndipo ngati nkhaniyo ikudzutsa mafunso, kambiranani ndi mnzanuyo pamasom’pamaso, osati pamaso pa aliyense. Ngati wina akangana ndi wokondedwa wanu, simudzakhala mkhalapakati, koma adzakulangizani kuthetsa nkhani zonse mwachindunji.

Mwachidule, mgwirizano wabwino ndi umene okwatirana onse ali okonzeka kuika moyo wawo pachiswe ndi kupitiriza kulimbikitsa ubale wawo mwachikondi ndi kuleza mtima. Mu ubale uliwonse, pali malo a zolakwa zonse ndi kukhululuka. Ndikofunika kuvomereza kuti inu ndi mnzanuyo ndinu opanda ungwiro ndipo zili bwino. Ubale suyenera kukhala wangwiro kuti utikhutiritse ndi kupangitsa moyo kukhala watanthauzo. Inde, mikangano ndi kusamvetsetsana nthawi zina zimachitika, koma ngati mgwirizanowo umangidwa pa kukhulupirirana ndi chithandizo, ukhoza kuonedwa kuti ndi wabwino.