Ambiri ali otsimikiza kuti sadzakhululukira kuperekedwa, koma pamene kusakhulupirika kumachitika ndipo wosakhulupirika kulumbira kuti sadzalakwitsanso, amaiwala malonjezo omwe adalonjeza, kukhululukira cholakwacho ndikupereka mwayi wachiwiri. Koma bwanji ngati mnzanuyo sakuyenera kukhululukidwa ndipo kulakwa kwake kuli bodza linanso?
Mnzanu wonyenga mwina ndi chimodzi mwazowawa kwambiri zamaganizo. Kuperekedwa kwa munthu amene timamukonda kumasokoneza mitima yathu. "Palibe chomwe chingafanane ndi ululu, mantha ndi ukali womwe timamva tikazindikira kuti mnzathu amene adalumbira kuti wakhulupirika wanyenga. Lingaliro lachiwembu lachiwembu limatiwononga. Zikuwoneka kwa ambiri kuti sangathe kukhulupirira mnzawo ndi wina aliyense, "akutero Robert Weiss, psychotherapist ndi sexologist.
Komabe, mwina mungakondebe munthu ameneyu ndipo mukufuna kukhala pamodzi, ndithudi, ngati sakunyengereranso ndipo amayesetsa kuti abwezeretse ubalewo. Mwachionekere, mnzanuyo akupepesa ndi kukutsimikizirani kuti sanafune kukukhumudwitsani. Koma mukudziwa bwino kuti izi sizokwanira ndipo sizidzakhala zokwanira.
Ayenera kuyesetsa kwambiri kuti abwezeretse kukhulupirirana, kukhala woona mtima kotheratu ndi womasuka m'zonse. Ndithudi iye wasankha kuchita, ngakhale malonjezo. Ndipo komabe ndizotheka kuti mtsogolomu zidzakuphwanyanso mtima wako.
Nazi zizindikiro 7 zosonyeza kuti mnzanu wosakhulupirika sanalape ndipo sayenera kukhululukidwa.
1. Amapitirizabe kunyenga
Choncho anthu ambiri amene amakonda kubera amalephera kusiya, mosasamala kanthu za zotsatirapo zake. M’njira zina amafanana ndi anthu omwerekera ndi mankhwala osokoneza bongo. Amapitirizabe kusintha, ngakhale atabweretsedwa kumadzi oyera ndipo moyo wawo wonse umayamba kusweka. Mwamwayi, izi sizikugwira ntchito kwa aliyense. Ambiri amamva chisoni kwambiri atadziwidwa ndipo amachita zonse zomwe angathe kuti akonze zinthu popanda kubwereza zolakwa zakale. Koma ena sangathe kapena sakufuna kusiya ndi kupitiriza kuvulaza mnzawo.
2. Amakubisirani bodza ndi kukubisirani.
Pamene chenicheni cha kusakhulupirika chavumbulutsidwa, olakwawo kaŵirikaŵiri amakonda kupitiriza kunama, ndipo ngati akakamizidwa kuulula, amaulula mbali imodzi ya chowonadi, kupitiriza kusunga zinsinsi zawo. Ngakhale ngati sachitanso chinyengo, amapitiriza kunyenga anzawo pa chinthu china. Kwa wopulumuka pamene anaperekedwa, chinyengo choterocho chingakhale chopweteka mofanana ndi kuperekedwa kumene.
3. Amaimba mlandu aliyense koma iye yekha pa zomwe zinachitika.
Okwatirana ambiri osakhulupirika amalungamitsa ndi kufotokoza khalidwe lawo mwa kuimba mlandu munthu wina kapena chinachake. Kwa wovulalayo, izi zitha kukhala zowawa. Ndikofunikira kwambiri kuti mnzake woberayo avomereze kwathunthu zomwe zidachitika. Tsoka ilo, ambiri samangochita izi, koma amayesanso kuloza mlandu wa kusakhulupirika kwa okondedwa awo.
4. Amapepesa ndipo amayembekezera kukhululukidwa mwamsanga.
Ena mwachinyengo amaganiza kuti kupepesa n’kokwanira, ndipo kukambirana kwatha. Sasangalala kwambiri kapena amakwiya akazindikira kuti mnzakeyo ali ndi maganizo osiyana pa nkhani imeneyi. Sakumvetsa kuti ndi chinyengo chawo, mabodza ndi zinsinsi iwo awononga kukhulupirirana konse pakati pa inu ndi chikhulupiriro chanu chonse mu maubale ndi kuti simungathe kumukhululukira mnzanuyo mpaka atalandira chikhululuko ichi potsimikizira kuti iyenso ngoyenera kukhulupiriridwa. .
5. Amayesa «kugula» chikhululukiro.
Njira yolakwika ya abwenzi ambiri pambuyo pa chigololo ndikuyesera kubweza chiyanjo chanu mwa "chiphuphu", kupereka maluwa ndi zokongoletsera, kukuitanani kumalesitilanti. Ngakhale kugonana akhoza kuchita ngati njira «chiphuphu». Ngati mnzanu wayesera kukusangalatsani mwanjira imeneyi, mukudziwa kale kuti sizikugwira ntchito. Mphatso, ngakhale zitakhala zodula ndi zolingalira motani, sizingathe kuchiritsa mabala obwera chifukwa cha kusakhulupirika.
6. Amayesa kukulamulirani mwaukali ndi kukuopsezani.
Nthawi zina, kuti "akhazikitse" mnzanu wokwiya woyenerera, wonyenga amayamba kuopseza ndi chisudzulo, kuthetsa thandizo la ndalama, kapena zina. Nthawi zina, amatha kuwopseza anzawo kuti apereke. Koma samvetsa kuti khalidwe lawo limawononga ubwenzi wapamtima mwa okwatirana.
7. Amayesa kukutonthozani.
Okondedwa ambiri, pamene kusakhulupirika kwawo kumadziwika, amanena motsatira: "Wokondedwa, bata, palibe choipa chomwe chachitika. Mukudziwa kuti ndimakukondani ndipo ndakhala ndikukukondani nthawi zonse. Ukupanga njovu ndi ntchentche. Ngati munamvapo chinthu chonga ichi, mukudziwa bwino kuti kuyesayesa koteroko kukhazika mtima pansi (ngakhale zitapambana kwa kanthawi) sikudzatha kubwezeretsa chidaliro chomwe chinatayika pambuyo pa kuperekedwa. Komanso, kumvetsera izi kumakhala kowawa kwambiri, chifukwa, kwenikweni, mnzanuyo akuwonetseratu kuti mulibe ufulu wokwiya chifukwa cha kuperekedwa kwake.