Kodi mumatukwana nthawi zonse ndi kukonza zinthu? Mwinamwake mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wosadziletsa ali “zimene adokotala anakulamulani.” Zotsatira za kafukufuku wina wa okwatirana zikusonyeza kuti amuna ndi akazi amene amakangana mpaka atapsa mtima amakhala ndi moyo wautali kusiyana ndi amene amapondereza mkwiyo.
"Anthu akamasonkhana, kuthetsa kusiyana kumakhala chimodzi mwa ntchito zofunika kwambiri," adatero Ernest Harburg, pulofesa wotuluka mu Dipatimenti ya Psychology ndi Health ku yunivesite ya Michigan, yemwe adatsogolera phunziroli. “Monga lamulo, palibe amene amaphunzitsidwa izi. Ngati onse awiri analeredwa ndi makolo abwino, chabwino, atengera chitsanzo kwa iwo. Koma nthawi zambiri, okwatirana samamvetsetsa njira zothetsera kusamvana.” Popeza kuti zosemphana n’zosapeŵeka, n’kofunika kwambiri mmene okwatirana amazithetsera.
“Tiyerekeze kuti pali mkangano pakati panu. Funso lofunika kwambiri: mutani? Harburg akupitiriza. "Ngati "mungokwirira" mkwiyo wanu, koma mukupitirizabe kutsutsa mdaniyo ndi kudana ndi khalidwe lake, ndipo musayese ngakhale kukambirana za vutoli, kumbukirani: muli m'mavuto.
Kafukufuku wambiri akuwonetsa kuti kutulutsa mkwiyo kumapindulitsa. Mwachitsanzo, ntchito ina yoteroyo imatsimikizira kuti anthu okwiya amasankha bwino, mwina chifukwa chakuti kutengeka kumeneku kumauza ubongo kunyalanyaza kukayikira n’kuika maganizo ake pa chiyambi cha vutolo. Kuphatikiza apo, zidapezeka kuti omwe amawonetsa mkwiyo poyera amatha kuwongolera zinthu ndikuthana ndi zovuta mwachangu.
Mkwiyo wam'zitini umangowonjezera nkhawa, zomwe zimadziwika kuti zimafupikitsa nthawi ya moyo. Malinga ndi kunena kwa akatswiri a zamaganizo, pali zifukwa zingapo zimene zimalongosola kuchuluka kwa imfa zamwamsanga pakati pa okwatirana amene amabisa zisonyezero zaukali. Zina mwa izo ndi chizoloŵezi chobisa kusagwirizana, kulephera kukambirana zakukhosi ndi mavuto, kusasamalira thanzi labwino, malinga ndi kunena kwa lipoti lofalitsidwa mu Journal of Family Communication.
Ngati zowukirazo zimawoneka ngati zomveka, ozunzidwawo pafupifupi sanakwiye.
Gulu la akatswiri otsogozedwa ndi Pulofesa Harburg anafufuza mabanja 17 azaka zapakati pa 192 ndi 35 kwa zaka zoposa 69. Cholinga chake chinali pa mmene amaonera kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo wawachitira chipongwe.
Ngati zowukirazo zimawoneka ngati zomveka, ozunzidwawo pafupifupi sanakwiye. Kutengera ndi zomwe ophunzirawo anachita pamikangano yongopeka, maanjawo adagawika m’magulu anayi: okwatirana onse amaonetsa mkwiyo, mkazi yekha ndi amene amaonetsa mkwiyo, ndipo mwamuna amaumira pakamwa, mwamuna yekha ndi amene amakwiya, ndipo mkazi amaumira, onse awiri. okwatirana amaletsa mkwiyo.
Ofufuzawo anapeza kuti mabanja 26, kapena anthu 52, anali opondereza—ndiko kuti, onse okwatirana anali kubisa zizindikiro za mkwiyo. Panthawi yoyeserera, 25% yaiwo adamwalira, poyerekeza ndi 12% mwa mabanja ena onse. Fananizani zambiri m'magulu. Nthawi yomweyo, 27% ya mabanja omwe anali ovutika maganizo adataya m'modzi mwa akazi awo, ndipo 23% onse awiri. Pomwe m'magulu atatu otsalawo, m'modzi mwa okwatiranawo adamwalira mu 19% yokha ya mabanja, ndipo onse - 6% yokha.
Chochititsa chidwi n'chakuti, powerengera zotsatira, zizindikiro zina zinaganiziridwanso: zaka, kulemera, kuthamanga kwa magazi, kusuta fodya, chikhalidwe cha bronchi ndi mapapo, ndi zoopsa za mtima. Malinga ndi Harburg, awa ndi ziwerengero zapakatikati. Kafukufuku akupitirira ndipo gulu likukonzekera kusonkhanitsa zaka 30 za deta. Koma ngakhale tsopano zikhoza kunenedweratu kuti mu chiwerengero chomaliza cha maanja omwe amalumbira ndi kukangana, koma amakhalabe ndi thanzi labwino, padzakhala kawiri kawiri.