Zamkatimu
Muli m'chikondi ndipo mwakonzeka mosavuta kulingalira moyo wautali ndi wokondwa pamodzi ndi mnzanuyo. Koma mukutsimikiza kuti zokhumba zanu zimagwirizana? Kodi mukunyalanyaza zizindikiro zomwe zimasonyeza kuti ali ndi chidwi ndi zosangalatsa zosavuta, ndipo china chirichonse ndi nthano chabe? Owerenga athu amalankhula za zomwe adakumana nazo za ubale womwe walephera. Wothandizira Gestalt Natalia Artsybasheva ndemanga.
1. Mumakumana usiku basi.
“Iye ankabwera kwa ine kapena kundiitana kuti ndibwere kwa iye, ndipo nthaŵi zonse kunali kuchedwa kwambiri,” akukumbukira motero Vera. “Mwachionekere, iye ankangofuna kugonana, koma ine sindinkafuna kuvomereza zimenezo. Ndinkayembekezera kuti m’kupita kwa nthaŵi zonse zidzasintha ndipo tidzalankhulana mokwanira. Sizinachitike, ndipo ndinayamba kumukonda kwambiri.”
2. Mumangokhala pakhomo.
“N’zoona kuti aliyense ali ndi masiku amene amafuna kugona pabedi n’kumaonera mafilimu, koma maubwenzi akusonyeza kuti muzicheza monga banja: kuyenda m’mzinda, kupita kokaonera akanema kapena masewero, kukumana ndi mabwenzi,” anatero Anna. “Tsopano ndazindikira kuti kusafuna kwake kutuluka kwinakwake sikuli chifukwa chakuti iye ndi wapanyumba (monga momwe ndimakondera kuganiza), koma kokha chifukwa chakuti iye makamaka anali wokondweretsedwa m’kugonana ndi ine.”
3. Amangolankhula za kugonana nthawi zonse.
"Poyamba ndimaganiza kuti amandikonda kwambiri ndipo kulimbikira kwambiri pa nkhani ya kugonana ndi chiwonetsero cha chilakolako chake," Marina akugawana. Komabe, zinali zosasangalatsa kupeza zithunzi za ziwalo zake zapamtima m'mauthenga pomwe sindinawafunse. Ndinali m’chikondi ndipo zinanditengera nthaŵi kuti ndivomereze kuti uwu unali ulendo wina chabe kwa iye.”
4. Mawu ake ndi osemphana ndi zochita zake
“Kumuyamikira mopambanitsa ndi kutsimikizira ziri chifukwa chokhalira tcheru ndi kufufuza chimene iye wakonzekeradi,” Maria ali wotsimikizirika. “Pamene amayi anga anadwala ndipo chichirikizo cha mnzanga chinafunika, zinaonekeratu: analankhula mawu abwino onsewa kuti ndikhalepo.”
5. Amathetsa mapangano
“Nthaŵi zambiri ndinkakhala monga wolinganiza nthaŵi yathu yopuma,” akuvomereza motero Inga. Ndipo ngakhale izi zinali choncho, atha kuletsa msonkhano wathu nthawi yomaliza, chifukwa cha ntchito yofulumira. Tsoka ilo, ndinazindikira mochedwa kuti sindinakhalepo kwa iye munthu amene mungamusiye kwambiri.
6. Watseka kwambiri
"Tonse timasiyana momasuka mosiyanasiyana, komabe, ngati mumamukhulupirira ndi chidziwitso cha inu nokha, ndipo mutapeza masewera a kalonga wodabwitsa, ndiye kuti akubisirani zinazake, kapena samakuwonani ngati mwana wachifumu. bwenzi laubwenzi wautali, "Ndikutsimikiza Arina. - Ndakhala nthawi yaitali ndi chinyengo kuti amangokhala taciturn ndipo samandidziwitsa kwa achibale ndi abwenzi, chifukwa akufuna kuyesa ubale wathu ndikundidziwitsa ngati mkwatibwi m'tsogolomu. Pambuyo pake zinapezeka kuti chinsinsi choterocho chinamupatsa mwayi wokhala ndi maubwenzi ndi akazi angapo nthawi imodzi.
7. Sasiya foni
"Iye ali ndi ntchito yodalirika - umu ndi momwe ndinamulungamitsira bwenzi langa, mpaka ndinazindikira kuti: ngati amasokonezedwa mosavuta ndi mafoni ndi mauthenga achilendo, izi sizikusonyeza kusowa kwake kwa maphunziro, komanso kuti sindine wokondedwa kwambiri kwa iye. iye, "- akuvomereza Tatyana.
"Ubale woterewu umavumbulutsa mavuto awo chifukwa chosowa thandizo lamkati"
Natalia Artsybasheva, Gestalt Therapist
Kodi nchiyani chingagwirizanitse akazi amene amasunga maubwenzi oterowo? Chitsanzo cha mgwirizano chimayikidwa mukulankhulana ndi makolo. Ngati talandira chikondi chokwanira, chithandizo ndi chitetezo, ndiye kuti timadutsa ndi anzathu omwe ali ndi maubwenzi owononga ndi kugwiritsa ntchito.
Ngati, muubwana, munthu anafunikira kupeza chikondi cha makolo, kutenga thayo la kusakhazikika kwamalingaliro kapena ukhanda wa makolo, ichi mosazindikira chimasamukira ku maunansi achikulire. Chikondi chimagwirizanitsidwa ndi kudziletsa, kudzimana kosayenera. Tikuyang'ana bwenzi lomwe limaukitsa ubwana. Ndipo dziko "sindikumva bwino" limagwirizanitsidwa ndi "ichi ndi chikondi."
Ndikofunikira kubwezeretsa malingaliro amkati achitetezo, kupeza chithandizo mwa inu nokha
Malingaliro olakwika a chitetezo amapangidwa mu ubale. Ngati makolo sanapereke kumverera uku, ndiye kuti akakula pangakhale mavuto ndi malingaliro odzitetezera. Monga akazi amene «aphonya» zoopsa zizindikiro. Chifukwa chake, sikofunikira kwambiri kuti mabelu a alarm awa ali paubwenzi ndi amuna osadalirika. Choyamba, ndikofunikira kuti musachoke kwa iwo, koma kuchokera ku "mabowo" anu amkati omwe abwenzi oterowo amadzaza. Munthu wodalirika sangalole kuti unansi woterowo ukule.
Kodi chitsanzochi chingasinthidwe? Inde, koma si zophweka, ndipo ndizothandiza kwambiri kuchita izo pamodzi ndi katswiri wa zamaganizo. Ndikofunikira kubwezeretsa malingaliro amkati achitetezo, kupeza chithandizo mwa inu nokha. Pankhaniyi, simutaya ubale, koma simukhala ndi ludzu lopweteka la chikondi kuti mudzaze zachabechabe zamkati, kuchepetsa ululu ndikupeza chitetezo. Mungathe kukonza chikondi ichi ndi chitetezo nokha.
Ndiye ubale watsopano sukhala njira yopezera moyo, koma mphatso kwa inu nokha ndi chokongoletsera ku moyo wanu wabwino kwambiri.