Zamkatimu
Mwana wokondwa ali ndi zonse zomwe akufuna
Chimwemwe sichimakwaniritsa zikhumbo zonse, afilosofi onse amavomereza izi! Ngakhale mutakhala ndi zaka zingati, kupeza zomwe mukufuna kumabweretsa mpumulo wanthawi yochepa womwe umaoneka ngati chimwemwe, koma osati chisangalalo chenicheni. Mofanana ndi pamene mukanda pamene kuyabwa, mumapeza mpumulo wabwino, koma kukhala osangalala kwenikweni ndikosiyana! Ndipo pamene chikhutirocho chadutsa mwamsanga chikhumbo, chatsopano chimapangidwa nthawi yomweyo, sichizimitsidwa. Momwemo munthu amapangidwa, amalakalaka zomwe alibe, koma akakhala nazo, amatembenukira ku zomwe alibe. Kuti musangalatse mwana wanu, musamupatse chilichonse chimene akufuna, muphunzitseni kusankha zinthu zofunika kwambiri, kulolera kukhumudwa, kuchepetsa zilakolako zake. Mufotokozereni kuti pali zinthu zomwe tingakhale nazo koma zina ayi, ndiwo moyo! Muuzeni kuti inu makolo muli pansi pa lamulo lomwelo, muyenera kuvomereza kuika malire pa zofuna zanu. Mvula yanyowa, sitingakhale ndi zonse zomwe tikufuna! Poyang'anizana ndi akuluakulu omveka bwino komanso ogwirizana, ana aang'ono amamvetsetsa nthawi yomweyo malingaliro a dziko.
Mwana wosangalala amachita zimene akufuna
Pali mabanja awiri achimwemwe. Chimwemwe chogwirizanitsidwa ndi chisangalalo - mwachitsanzo, kugwedezeka, kulandira kukumbatira, kudya maswiti ndi zinthu zabwino, kukumana ndi zosangalatsa ... Ndipo chisangalalo chokhudzana ndi kudziwa zinthu zatsopano, kupita patsogolo komwe timapanga tsiku ndi tsiku muzochita zathu, mwachitsanzo kumvetsetsa momwe tingapangire puzzles, kudziwa kukwera njinga popanda mawilo ang'onoang'ono, kuphika keke, kulemba dzina lanu, kumanga nsanja ya Kapla, ndi zina zotero. kuti makolo athandize mwana wawo wamng'ono kuzindikira kuti kuli kosangalatsa pophunzira, kuti kumafuna khama, kuti kungakhale kovuta, kuti kuyenera kuyambiranso, koma kuti n'kopindulitsa chifukwa, pamapeto a tsiku, maphunzirowa amawathandiza. kukhutitsidwa ndi kwakukulu.
Mwana wachimwemwe amakhaladi wokondwa
Ndithudi, mwana wokondwa, wokhazikika, yemwe akuchita bwino m'mutu mwake, yemwe ali ndi chidaliro m'moyo, amamwetulira ndi kuseka kwambiri ndi makolo ake komanso ndi anzake. Koma kaya ndinu wamkulu kapena mwana, simungakhale osangalala maola 24 patsiku! Patsiku, timakhumudwitsidwa, kukhumudwa, kukhumudwa, kuda nkhawa, kukwiya ... nthawi ndi nthawi. Chofunika ndi chakuti nthawi zabwino pamene mwana wanu ali ozizira, wokondwa, wokhutira, amaposa nthawi zoipa. Chiŵerengero choyenera ndi malingaliro atatu abwino pamalingaliro amodzi oipa. Kukhumudwa maganizo si chizindikiro cha kulephera kwa maphunziro. Kuvomereza kuti mwana akumva chisoni n’kumadziwira yekha kuti chisoni chakecho chingathe kutha ndiponso kuti sichimayambitsa masoka n’kofunika kwambiri. Ayenera kuchita yekha "psychological immune". Tikudziwa kuti ngati tilera mwana mwaukhondo kwambiri, timawonjezera chiopsezo cha ziwengo chifukwa sangathe kupanga chitetezo chake chachilengedwe. Ngati muteteza mwana wanu ku malingaliro oyipa, chitetezo chake cham'maganizo sichingaphunzire kudzikonzekeretsa.
Mwana wokondedwa amakhala wokondwa nthawi zonse
Chikondi chopanda malire ndi chopanda malire cha makolo ake ndi chofunikira, koma sichikwanira kuti mwana asangalale. Kuti akule bwino amafunikiranso chimango. Kudziwa kukana pakafunika kutero ndi utumiki wabwino kwambiri umene tingamupatse. Chikondi cha makolo sichiyenera kukhala chapadera. Zikhulupiriro monga “Ife tokha tikudziwa kukumvetsetsani, ife tokha tikudziwa zomwe zili zabwino kwa inu” tiyenera kuzipewa. Ndikofunika kuti makolo avomereze kuti akuluakulu ena angachitepo kanthu pa maphunziro awo mosiyana ndi awo. Mwana ayenera kuchitirana mapewa, kupeza njira zina zaubwenzi, kukhumudwa, kuvutika nthawi zina. Muyenera kudziwa momwe mungavomerezere, ndiwo maphunziro omwe amakupangitsani kukula.
Mwana wosangalala amakhala ndi anzake ambiri
Ndithudi, mwana amene ali bwino nthaŵi zambiri amakhala womasuka pakati pa anthu ndipo amafotokoza mosavuta mmene akumvera. Koma ili si lamulo lovuta komanso lofulumira. Mutha kukhala ndi umunthu wosiyana ndikukhala wabwino nokha. Ngati kucheza ndi anthu kumatopetsa mwana wanu kuposa ena, ngati ali wochenjera, wodzisunga pang'ono, chirichonse, ali ndi mphamvu zanzeru mwa iye. Chofunika kwambiri kuti iye asangalale ndi chakuti amadzimva kuti akuvomerezedwa monga momwe alili, kuti ali ndi madera a ufulu. Mwana wodziwa chimwemwe chodekha amene amaimba, kudumpha mozungulira, amakonda kusewera yekha m'chipinda chake, amatulukira dzikoli ndipo amakhala ndi anzake, amapeza m'moyo wake zomwe amafunikira ndikuchita bwino monga momwe mtsogoleri amachitira. "otchuka" kwambiri m'kalasi.
Mwana wosangalala satopa
Makolo akuwopa kuti mwana wawo adzakhala wotopa, yenda mozungulira, kukhala wopanda kanthu. Mwadzidzidzi, amamukonzera ndandanda ya utumiki, kuchulukitsa ntchitozo. Pamene maganizo athu akuyendayenda, pamene sitichita kalikonse, pamene tiyang'ana malo kudzera pawindo la sitima mwachitsanzo, madera enieni a ubongo wathu - omwe asayansi amawatcha "default network" - amatsegulidwa. Maukondewa amagwira ntchito yofunika kukumbukira, kukhazikika kwamalingaliro komanso kupanga chidziwitso. Masiku ano, maukondewa amagwira ntchito mocheperako, chidwi chathu chimatengedwa nthawi zonse ndi zowonera, zolumikizidwa ...
kuchulukirachulukira kumabweretsa nkhawa komanso kumachepetsa chisangalalo. Osadzaza ndi zochitika Lachitatu ndi Loweruka ndi Lamlungu la mwana wanu. Msiyeni asankhe zimene amazikondadi, zimene zimam’sangalatsadi, ndi kuziphatikiza ndi nthaŵi imene palibe chimene wakonzekera, kupuma kumene kudzam’khazika mtima pansi, kum’khazika mtima pansi ndi kum’limbikitsa kugwiritsira ntchito luso lake la kulenga. Osazolowera zochitika za "jet mosalekeza", sangasangalale nazo ndipo adzakhala wamkulu wodalira mpikisano wosangalatsa. Chimene chiri, monga taonera, chosiyana ndi chimwemwe chenicheni.
Ayenera kutetezedwa ku zovuta zonse
Kafukufuku akuwonetsa kuti kwa ana kupsinjika mopambanitsa kumakhala kovuta, monganso chitetezo chochulukirapo. Ndikwabwino kuti mwanayo adziwitsidwe zomwe zikuchitika m'banja lake, ndi mawu osavuta komanso ochepetsetsa a makolo ake, komanso kuti amvetsetse kuti makolo omwewa amakumana nawo: phunziro lakuti mavuto alipo komanso kuti n'zotheka kuthana nawo. adzakhala wamtengo wapatali kwa iye. Kumbali ina, mwachiwonekere n'zachabechabe kuululira mwanayo nkhani za pa TV, pokhapokha ngati ndi pempho lake, ndipo pamenepa, nthawi zonse khalani pambali pake kuti muyankhe mafunso ake ndikumuthandiza kuzindikira zithunzi zomwe zingakhale zolemetsa.
Muyenera kumuuza kuti "ndimakukondani" tsiku lililonse
Ndikofunika kumuuza nthawi zambiri komanso momveka bwino kuti mumamukonda, koma osati tsiku ndi tsiku. Chikondi chathu chiyenera kukhala chomveka komanso chopezeka, koma sichiyenera kukhala chokulirapo komanso chopezeka paliponse.
* Wolemba wa “Ndipo musaiwale kukhala osangalala. ABC of positive psychology ”, ed. Odile Jacob.