Zamkatimu
Ngakhale kuti chikondi chimachita zodabwitsa, pali zinthu zina zimene sichingachite. Sitingathe kusintha makhalidwe omwe amasonyeza umunthu wa wokondedwa wathu. Mwinamwake, zoyesayesa zidzatha ndi mfundo yakuti ubale wawonongeka. Koma ngakhale titaganiza kuti tidzathetsa makhalidwe ake amene timadana nawo, tiyenera kukhala okonzeka kukumana ndi munthu wina. Osati ngakhale amene timamukonda. Akatswiri asonkhanitsa makhalidwe ndi zizoloŵezi za mnzanu, zomwe ndizofunikira kupeza mgwirizano.
1. Kukhala paubwenzi ndi banja
Mu nthabwala yodziwika bwino: sitikwatirana ndi mnzako, koma banja lake lonse - pali choonadi chochuluka. Malingaliro okhudza wachibale akhoza kukhala ozama kwambiri ndipo sangasinthe, ziribe kanthu momwe tingafune kuti azilankhulana nawo mochepa ndi kuthera nthawi yambiri ku mgwirizano wathu.
"Ngati simungathe kulowa m'banja lake lomwe limagwirizana kwambiri, ndiye kuti kuyesa kukopa mnzanu kuti akhale nanu ndi kumupangitsa kuti asamacheze ndi okondedwa anu sikungatheke," akutero mphunzitsi wa ubale ndi anthu Chris Armstrong. - Ndipo mosemphanitsa: ndikofunikira kuti mupatse wokondedwa wanu ufulu kuti asapite ku misonkhano yabanja nthawi zonse monga momwe mumachitira. Lingaliro la banja ndi lofunika, komabe osati kusokoneza ubale ndi wokondedwa.
2. Introversion / extroversion
Otsutsa amakopa, koma mpaka pa mfundo imodzi. Tsiku lina mudzafuna mnzanu yemwe amakonda kukhala chete komanso kukhala yekha kuti akuthandizeni kuti mukhale ndi madzulo angapo motsatana kutali ndi kwawo. “Simungasinthe khalidwe la munthu,” akuchenjeza motero katswiri wa zamaganizo Samantha Rodman. "Ngati, ngakhale mutakhala ndi malingaliro amalingaliro, mwasankha kukhala limodzi, muyenera kupatsana ufulu wokhala nokha."
3.Zokonda
Zokonda zathu, zomwe zilibe kanthu ndi kuzindikira kwa akatswiri, zimathandizira kusunga bwino mkati. Chris Armstrong anati: “Timataya mtima wokhutitsidwa ndi kulamulira miyoyo yathu ngati titaya zimene sitichita chifukwa chofuna kupeza ndalama, koma chifukwa cha zosangalatsa zathu. "Ngati kumayambiriro kwaubwenzi zikuwoneka kwa inu kuti wokondedwa wanu amathera nthawi yochuluka pakuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi, kuvina kwa ballroom kapena ziweto, musaganize kuti izi zisintha mukayamba kukhalira limodzi."
4. Kuwongolera nkhanza
Ngati munthu amene mukufuna kumanga naye ubwenzi aphulika pa nkhani zazing’ono zomwe zingathetsedwe mosavuta mwamtendere, musayembekezere kuti chikondi chingasinthe zimenezi. "Ili ndi vuto lomwe liyenera kuganiziridwa mozama kuyambira pachiyambi," adatero Carl Pilmar, pulofesa wa chikhalidwe cha anthu ku yunivesite ya Cornell komanso wolemba mabuku wa XNUMX Advice for Lovers. "Mkwiyo ndi kusadziletsa ndi mikhalidwe yomwe imangokulirakulirabe m'zaka zapitazi."
5. Malingaliro achipembedzo
“Nthawi zambiri vuto la kusagwirizana kwa malingaliro achipembedzo limapezeka kokha ana atabadwa. Samantha Rodman anati: “Ngakhale kuti mnzawoyo sanalankhulepo za zikhulupiriro zake m’mbuyomo, pakufika kwa ana, amafuna kuti aleredwe m’miyambo yauzimu yoyandikana naye. “Ngati mnzakeyo ali ndi malingaliro ena achipembedzo, apezeka kuti ndi wosakhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu kapena wokhulupirira kuti kuli Mulungu, mosakayikira sangachirikize lingaliro lakuti zikhulupiriro zachilendo kwa iye zakhomerezedwa mwa mwanayo.”
6. Kufunika kukhala pawekha
Mumayesetsa kuthera mphindi iliyonse yaulere palimodzi, pomwe wokondedwa amafunikira malo awoawo. "Kufunika kwa mnzanu kukhala yekha kungawerengedwe ngati chinthu chomwe mwakanidwa, ndikuyankha mopweteka," akufotokoza motero Chris Armstrong. - Pakalipano, nthawi yotalikirana imakulolani kuti mukhalebe ndi zachilendo zakumverera, umunthu wa aliyense, zomwe pamapeto pake zimangolimbitsa mgwirizano.
Anthu akakhala pamodzi nthawi zonse, mmodzi wa iwo amaona kuti ubwenzi ndi chinthu chokha chimene akuchita. Izi zimayambitsa kukaniza kwamkati mwa mnzanuyo, yemwe amafunikira nthawi yochulukirapo kuti aganizire zatsopano, kuzindikira zilakolako ndi zosowa zomwe zikusintha.
7. Kufunika kokonzekera
Muyenera kukonzekera mosamala sitepe iliyonse, pomwe mnzanuyo amakonda zisankho zodziwikiratu pa chilichonse. Poyamba, kusiyana kumeneku kungakhale kopindulitsa kwa ubale: mbali imodzi imathandiza ina kukhala ndi moyo panopa ndikumva kukongola kwa mphindi, ina imapereka chidaliro m'tsogolomu ndi chitonthozo chifukwa chakuti zambiri zinakonzedwa bwino. .
"Zikuwoneka kuti izi sizinthu zotsutsana ndi polar zomwe zingawononge maubwenzi. Komabe, zonse zimatengera kuopsa kwa zolakwika izi, akuchenjeza katswiri wazamisala Jill Weber. - Ngati mumagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zanu zonse kuyesa kutsimikizirana momwe mungagwiritsire ntchito kumapeto kwa sabata komanso ngati kuli kofunikira kukonzekera mosamala bajeti ya banja, izi zidzayambitsa mikangano. Kusiyana koteroko kumagwirizanitsidwa ndi makhalidwe a psyche, ndipo simudzasintha mwa munthu njira yake yopezera chitetezo cha m'maganizo ndi chitonthozo.
8. Maganizo kwa ana
Ngati kumayambiriro kwa misonkhano akunena moona mtima kuti sakufuna ana, muyenera kukhulupirira izi. Armstrong anati: “Kuyembekezera kuti maganizo ake asintha pamene ubwenzi wanu ukukula sikungapindule. - Zimakhala zachibadwa munthu akamachenjeza kuti ali wokonzeka kukhala ndi ana pokhapokha atakhala ndi chidaliro mwa wokondedwa wake, atakhala naye nthawi inayake. Komabe, ngati mukumva kuti akutsutsa kukhala kholo, ndipo izi zikutsutsana ndi zofuna zanu, ndi bwino kuganizira za tsogolo la ubale woterowo.
9. Kuchita nthabwala
“Ntchito yanga ndi maanja amene akhala pamodzi kwa nthaŵi yaitali imasonyeza kuti mavuto ambiri amtsogolo angadziŵike mwa kufunsa funso limodzi: kodi anthu amaona zinthu zofanana kukhala zoseketsa? Carl Pilmer ndi wotsimikiza. Kuseka kofananako kumakhala chizindikiro chabwino cha kugwirizana kwa okwatirana. Ngati mumaseka pamodzi, ndiye kuti mwachiwonekere muli ndi malingaliro ofanana pa dziko lapansi, ndipo mudzachitira zinthu zazikulu mofananamo.