Wokondedwa nthawi zambiri amakhumudwa: momwe angapezere chinenero chofala

“Lembani madandaulo mumchenga, jambulani ntchito zabwino mu marble,” anatero wolemba ndakatulo wachifalansa Pierre Boiste. Koma kodi n'zosavuta kutsatira? Mmene timaonera kuipidwa zimadalira mmene timaonera dziko lapansi, kudzidalira, kukhalapo kwa zovuta ndi ziyembekezo zabodza, komanso pa maubwenzi ndi ena.

Sitingathe kuchotseratu mkwiyo m'miyoyo yathu, ndi gawo la malingaliro athu olemera. Koma mutha kuwazindikira, kuwagwiritsa ntchito ndikuzigwiritsa ntchito ngati "matsenga amatsenga" kuti mudziwe ndikudzikulitsa nokha.

Kukhumudwitsa ndi kukhumudwitsa, timaphunzira kuwona, kumanga ndi kuteteza malire a zomwe zimaloledwa. Kotero timayamba kuzindikira zomwe ziri zovomerezeka mu khalidwe la ena kwa ife, ndi zomwe ziri zosavomerezeka.

Ndani ali ndi zomwe "zopweteka"

Kukwiyitsa kumakhala ngati nyali: kumawonetsa komwe munthu "amapweteka", amawunikira mantha ake, malingaliro, ziyembekezo, zovuta. Timadziwa zambiri za ife eni komanso za ena tikamaona amene amakwiya ndi zomwe wachita, yemwe wakhumudwitsidwa ndi chiyani.

Kumverera sikumangirira, koma kufufuza. Pagulu, kuletsa malingaliro amphamvu "oyipa" ndikofunikira, ndipo kuwonetsa kwawo mwa kukwiyitsa sikuloledwa - kumbukirani mwambi wonena za okhumudwa ndi madzi. Choncho, maganizo pa wolakwiridwayo amakhalanso oipa.

Kusunga chakukhosi kungatikwiyitse. Ndipo iye, nayenso, amapereka mphamvu zotetezera malire ake ndi kufunafuna chilungamo. Komabe, m’pofunika kuti tichite zimenezi m’njira yosamalira chilengedwe, kulamulira mawonetseredwe a mkwiyo — ngati kutengeka mtima kuloŵerera, kumverera kumeneku kudzatigonjetsera kotheratu, ndipo mkhalidwewo udzachoka mosalamulirika.

Kodi mungachite chiyani ngati nthawi zambiri mumakwiyira ena

• Gwirani ndi ziyembekezo zosayembekezereka. Nthawi zambiri timayembekezera kuti ena achite zimene ifeyo tingathe. Nthawi zambiri zilakolako zonsezi zimakhala m'mutu mwathu mokha: sitigawana nawo, sitimazitchula kuti ndizofunikira. Chifukwa chake kulumikizana kwathu ndi ena kumasanduka "masewera ongopeka". Mwachitsanzo, mtsikana amayembekezera mwamuna nthawi zonse kusonyeza tsiku ndi maluwa, koma amazitenga mopepuka ndipo sayankhula za izo. Tsiku lina labwino amabwera wopanda maluwa, ziyembekezo zake sizilungamitsidwa - mkwiyo umayamba.
• Muyenera kuphunzira kulankhula momasuka za zinthu zofunika kwa inu, kukambirana ndi mnzanu, abwenzi, achibale. Kuchulukitsitsa kosiyidwa, kumakhalanso zifukwa zambiri zokhumudwitsidwa.
• Yesetsani kuzindikira kuti ndi chosowa chotani chomwe chimaphimbidwa ndi mkwiyo panthawiyo, chifukwa nthawi zambiri zosowa zina zosakwaniritsidwa "zimabisala" kumbuyo kwake. Mwachitsanzo, mayi wokalamba amakhumudwa ndi mwana wake wamkazi amene sapitako kawirikawiri. Koma kuseri kwa mkwiyowu pali kufunikira kocheza ndi anthu, komwe amayi amasowa chifukwa chopuma pantchito. Mutha kukwaniritsa chosowachi m'njira zina: thandizani amayi kupeza zochita ndi anzawo atsopano m'malo osinthika. Ndipo, mwinamwake, kukwiyira mwana wamkaziyo kudzatha.

Kodi mungatani ngati wokondedwa wanu amakhumudwa nthawi zambiri?

• Poyamba, modekha, momasuka, popanda kutentha kwa chilakolako, yesani kufotokoza zomwe mukumva ndikuwona muzochitika izi. Ndi bwino kugwiritsa ntchito "I-statements", ndiko kuti, kulankhula m'malo mwako, popanda kukutsutsa, kuyesa mnzanu ndikulemba zilembo. Lankhulani zakukhosi kwanu, osati zake. Mwachitsanzo, m'malo mwakuti: "Mumadzipatula nthawi zonse momwe mungathere ..." - mutha kunena kuti: "Ndimakwiya ndikafuna kutulutsa mawu kuchokera kwa inu", "Ndimamva chisoni ndikadikirira nthawi yayitali nthawi zonse. mukuyambanso kuyankhula ndi ine… «.
• Ganizilani: kulakwa kwake kumatanthauza ciani kwa inu? N’chifukwa chiyani ukumuyankha choncho? Kodi n'chiyani chimakupangitsani kuyankha motere ku madandaulo? Ndipotu, sitimangoyankha motengeka maganizo ndi khalidwe linalake, mawu a anthu ena, ndipo khama sitiona zina zonse.
• Ngati mkhalidwewo mwaukali ukubwerezedwa nthaŵi zonse, fufuzani chosoŵa chimene munthuyo akuyesera kukwaniritsa mwanjira imeneyi. Nthawi zambiri anthu alibe chidwi, kuzindikira, kucheza ndi anthu. Ngati mnzanuyo ali ndi mwayi wotseka zosowazi mwa njira zina, kukwiyitsa sikungakhale koyenera. Yesani kulingalira pamodzi momwe mungakwaniritsire izi.
• Vomerezani kuti inu ndi munthuyo muli ndi magawo osiyanasiyana okhudzidwa ndi zochitika zopweteka. Zimene mukuona kuti n’zabwinobwino zingakhale zoipa kwa munthu wina. Aliyense wa ife ali ndi malingaliro akeake ponena za malire a zololedwa ndi mfundo zamakhalidwe abwino. Mwinamwake mukudziwa za nkhani zowawa za munthu ameneyu zimene simuyenera kuzigwira pamaso pake.
• Kambiranani ndi kuyankhulanso. Dziwani momwe akuwona momwe zinthu ziliri - mwina mwaphonyapo kanthu. Mulimonsemo, malingaliro anu ndi malingaliro anu sangathe kugwirizana 100%.

Monga lamulo, ngati mukufuna, mungapeze mwayi wolankhula momasuka, koma nthawi yomweyo musapweteke maganizo a munthuyo ndikufotokozera kuti mukuyang'ana zomwe zinachitika mosiyana. Kulongosola mkhalidwewo sikuli kwenikweni kupepesa ndi kuvomereza kulakwa. Ndizokambirana, kuyanjana momasuka, za kukhulupirirana ndi kupeza yankho lomwe limakwaniritsa zonse ziwiri.