Tili ana, ankatiimba mlandu waulesi, koma sitinkachita zimene sitinkafuna. Katswiri wa zamaganizo amakhulupirira kuti lingaliro lachiwongo loperekedwa ndi makolo ndi anthu silimangowononga, komanso lopanda maziko.
“Ndili mwana, makolo anga ankakonda kundinyoza chifukwa cha ulesi. Panopa ndine munthu wamkulu, ndipo anthu ambiri amandidziwa kuti ndine munthu wolimbikira ntchito ndipo nthawi zina amachita zinthu monyanyira. Tsopano zikuwonekeratu kuti makolowo anali olakwa, "adavomereza Avrum Weiss. Katswiri wazamisala yemwe ali ndi zaka makumi anayi zakuchipatala amafotokoza vuto lodziwika bwino ndi chitsanzo chake.
“Ndikuganiza kuti ankati ulesi ndi wopanda changu pa ntchito imene ndimayenera kugwira. Panopa ndakula bwino moti sindingathe kumvetsa zolinga zawo, koma ndili mnyamata ndinazindikira kuti ndine waulesi. Izi zinakhala m'mutu mwanga kwa nthawi yaitali. N’zosadabwitsa kuti ndinawathandiza kwambiri popereka moyo wanga wonse kudzitsimikizira kuti sindinali waulesi,” akutero.
Mu ntchito yake monga psychotherapist, Weiss samaleka kudabwa ndi njira zosiyanasiyana zomwe zimatsogolera anthu kudzidzudzula kwambiri. “Sindine wanzeru mokwanira”, “chilichonse ncholakwika chifukwa cha ine”, “Sindingathe kupirira” ndi zina zotero. Nthawi zambiri mumatha kumva kudzitsutsa nokha chifukwa cha ulesi.
Chipembedzo cha ntchito
Ulesi ndiye vuto lalikulu lotsutsa chikhalidwe. Avrum Weiss akulemba za America, "dziko la mwayi" wokhala ndi chipembedzo cholimbikira chomwe chingatengere aliyense kukhala purezidenti kapena kupanga mamiliyoni. Koma m’mayiko ambiri anthu amaonanso ntchito mofananamo.
Mu USSR, unali ulemu kukwaniritsa ndi kupitirira ndondomeko ndikudutsa "ndondomeko ya zaka zisanu m'zaka zinayi". Ndipo m'zaka za makumi asanu ndi anayi, anthu a ku Russia adagawidwa kwambiri mwa omwe adakhumudwitsidwa ndi kuthekera kwawo ndi ziyembekezo zawo, ndi ena omwe ntchito zawo ndi khama lawo zinawathandiza "kuuka" kapena kuti apitirizebe.
Malingaliro a Kumadzulo omwe a Weiss adalongosola ndi cholinga cha kupambana mwamsanga chinazika mizu mu chikhalidwe chathu - vuto lomwe adalongosola ndilodziwika kwa ambiri: "Ngati simunapambanebe pa chinachake, ndi chifukwa chakuti simukuchita khama."
Zonsezi zasonkhezera mfundo yakuti timaweruza ena ndi ife eni kuti ndife aulesi ngati iwowo kapena sitichita zimene timaganiza kuti tiyenera kuchita.
Mwachitsanzo, chotsani zinthu zachisanu, kutsuka mbale kapena kuchotsa zinyalala. Ndipo ndizomveka chifukwa chake timaweruza anthu chifukwa chosachita - pambuyo pake, tikufuna kuti azichita! Anthu ndi mitundu ya fuko, akukhalabe m'madera osiyanasiyana. Moyo wa anthu udzakhala wabwinoko ngati aliyense ali wokonzeka kukwaniritsa udindo wake kuti apindule ndi ena, ngakhale kudzera mu "sindikufuna".
Ndi anthu ochepa okha amene angafune kuyeretsa zinyalala kapena zimbudzi - koma chinthu chabwino kwa anthu ammudzi chiyenera kuchitika. Chifukwa chake anthu akufunafuna chipukuta misozi kuti wina atenge maudindo osasangalatsawa. Pamene chipukuta misozi sichikukwanira kapena sichikugwiranso ntchito, timakweza ndalamazo ndikupita kuzinthu zochititsa manyazi pagulu, kukakamiza anthu mwamanyazi kuchita zomwe sakufuna konse.
Kutsutsidwa pagulu
Umu ndi momwe, malinga ndi Weiss, makolo ake adamukakamiza kuti awonjezere kulimbikira kwake. Mwanayo amatengera kuweruza kwa makolo ndikudzipangira yekha. Ndipo m’gulu la anthu timanenanso kuti anthu ndi aulesi chifukwa sachita zimene tikufuna.
Mphamvu yodabwitsa ya manyazi ndi yakuti imagwira ntchito ngakhale ngati palibe amene ali pafupi akugwedeza khutu lanu: "Waulesi! Waulesi!» Ngakhale ngati palibe amene ali pafupi, anthu amadziimba mlandu chifukwa chokhala aulesi chifukwa chosachita zomwe akuganiza kuti ayenera kuchita.
Weiss akupereka mozama kuganizira mawu amphamvu akuti: "Palibe chinthu monga ulesi." Chimene timachitcha ulesi ndi chabe kutsimikiza kovomerezeka kwa anthu. Amakhala zinthu zowaneneza, amachititsidwa manyazi pamaso pa anthu chifukwa cha zimene sakufuna.
Koma munthu amadziwonetsera yekha muzochita - kuchita zomwe akufuna osati kuchita zomwe sakufuna.
Ngati munthu alankhula za chikhumbo chake chofuna kuchita chinachake, koma osachichita, timachitcha ulesi. Ndipo kwenikweni, zimangotanthauza kuti sakufuna kuchita zimenezo. Kodi tingamvetse bwanji zimenezi? Inde, chifukwa satero. Ndipo ngati ndikanafuna, ndikanatero. Zonse ndi zophweka.
Mwachitsanzo, wina amanena kuti akufuna kuchepetsa thupi ndiyeno akufunsanso mchere wambiri. Choncho sali wokonzeka kuonda. Iye amachita manyazi kapena manyazi ndi ena - iye «ayenera» kufuna izo. Koma khalidwe lake limasonyeza kuti sanakonzekere izi.
Timaweruza ena chifukwa cha ulesi chifukwa timaganiza kuti n'zosavomerezeka kusafuna zomwe ayenera kufuna. Ndipo chotsatira chake, anthu amanamizira kuti akufuna chimene chimaonedwa kuti n’choyenera kuchifuna, ndipo amaimba mlandu kusachita kwawoko chifukwa cha ulesi. Bwalo latsekedwa.
Zonsezi njira ndithu mwamphamvu «sokedwa» mu mitu yathu. Koma, mwinamwake, kuzindikira njira zimenezi kudzatithandiza kukhala owona mtima kwa ife tokha, kumvetsetsa bwino ndi kulemekeza zofuna za ena.